Guilt over my own happiness...

[2 please]

WOW, I wish I had you to talk to a week ago. I have a friend who has lost their baby and I see her in playgroup every week. The whole playgroup gives me blunt replys whenever pregnancy is mentioned because they dont want to upset her. Im almost 20 weeks too and it is the most wonderful time with the ultrasound and the baby kicking, how can you not talk about it. The only way I delt with it is by cutting contact with them for awhile. Its hard, but its just too hard to deal with their problems when your homones make your stress even worse. I miscarried before this baby and I had a friend avoid me because her pregnancy worked out. I glad she did because it saved us both being uncomfortable. Just make sure they know you care about their loss. I think the card idea is great. Try to view from both sides of this situation, that helped me.

Im hearing ya. Try to keep talking to positive people in this chat room helps.

[nicole_and_dan]

Ok well I bit the bullet and spoke to her yesterday and it went better than I expected. She came around to see my mother and she was the one who broached the subject first, asking how my ultrasound went. I told her that everything was looking good and that it was a girl and she said that they will find out the results of the testing and the sex of their little one on Tuesday. I then told her that I was feeling rather guilty about my own bub being healthy, or more to the point, me not having the problems that they have faced and she said why? I was at a loss for words. She then said even though it was still heartbreaking to have lost their baby she said she wouldn't want me to feel bad because of my baby being healthy. I told her that I feel sad about their baby and that seemed to be enough. I also told her I didnt want to be one of those people that said "It's for the best" or "You can try again" and she said that she had already heard it and it doesnt make things any easier.

Nicole