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Thread: Something wrong-UPDATE

  1. #109
    kirsty Guest

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    That is wonderfully encouraging news for your precious little girl, Abby.

    Hope you had a great day shopping & had some fun for a little while.


  2. #110

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    Emz - I'm by no means a religious person but still believe that curveballs are only thrown at those who can cope with them. So all my love to you, Tim and your precious pink Abby! You guys rock..!

  3. #111
    snowflake Guest

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    What a week you have had.

    Wishing you a healthy remaining pregnancy.

    You and your family are an inspiration O

  4. #112

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    Em, huni, you and I have been sending each other emails, so Im updated with Abby's progress.

    But I just wanted you and everybody else to know of the AMAZING strenght and courage you and Tim are showing, you're both just fantastic parents already and Im sure-no positive that you're going to be just a family that's truly blessed and happy.

    Abby doesn't know how lucky she is too have you both.

    All my love Nard xx O

  5. #113

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    Em - 0.5% Is great- I hope that you sit back and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and as you said you still know what is happening!

    love
    Jacci

  6. #114
    Cee_Cee99 Guest

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    Emma,
    Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us all.

    My partner and I decided not to have the 12 week scan, as we had decided prior to falling pg that we would keep a baby with Downs - so like you... what is the point of having tests? (I do need to have the 19 week test or they will not admit me to the Birthing Centre - but it is to see if I can have a natural birth, not for Downs)

    You mentioned that you were not offered the test at 12 weeks, I think those who are offered this test at 12 weeks or at any time, first need to know what they would do should the test be Positive. What are they willing to do. If they know they will terminate, that is fine, but if they are sure that they would not terminate, then don't have the test (unless you want to be "prepared" for a child with Downs?).

    Your story has affirmed everything I have believed in (which has been frowned upon by my friends) - so thank you again so much for sharing... I understand that this has been an incredably difficult time for you... I hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnacy and have a beautiful, happy, healthy baby.

  7. #115

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    Cee-Cee-

    Thanks for you kind words. If i had have been offered the 12 week test i would have taken it- this shows how selfish I am, because as far as i know its just a ultrasound where they measure some things- I would have done anything to see my little one a bit earlier.

    Ofcourse i feel differently about additional ultrasounds and tests now. And anyway, me, Tim and my family wouldnt have felt any different had we have been told at any stage of the pregnancy. As far as we were concerned she was already here with us the moment we conceived so there was no letting go.

    Thanks everyone else for your warm wishes and your [-o< 's for our little one. Shes just so wonderful! I cant wait to show her off to everyone when she arrives!! sooooooo long to go!!! :bellyrub:

  8. #116

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    Em - glad you are doing much better now.

    CeeCee - the 12 wk u/s we had wasn't just to determine chromosonal abnormalities, but also for a host of other things. Completely agree with you making your own choice on finding out about disabilities or problems, and we were sat down by an ob at the u/s clinic who fully explained the risks of any further testing, etc, etc. They went out of their way to tell us that the u/s was in no way intended to diagnose all problems.

    At our u/s, they also looked at my ovaries, cervix (make sure it's all closed properly), position of fetus (and made sure there was only one!) and placenta (in our case mine is low, so they warned me I would need watching for that and may experience some spotting). They could also make sure I didn't have any fibroids, which can cause problems, or cysts. They checked that the umbilical cord was functioning properly, with two arteries, and I'm not even sure what everything else was for! You don't have to have the NT scan for Downs (that's just a measurement of the back of the neck) as this is only really accurate when combined with a blood test, or maybe you could just tell them that you aren't interested in knowing if the baby has any deformities? In any case, even if they suspect abnormalities, further testing is required if you wanted them to be conclusive, and they certainly don't push that given the chance of miscarriage.

    As for the u/s, the blood test was also taken to determine a whole range of things, not just for abnormalities. Tests can help you plan a healthy pg if there is anything you should be concerned about for yourself, not just the baby, but of course whatever you decide - I hope you have a great pg!!!

  9. #117

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    CeeCee - we didn't have the 12w NT scan either, as we are the same, we would never terminate regardless. But the OB still did his own scan which had some measurements and things in it to make sure bubs is growing properly etc. (The OB did have a quick look himself at the neckfold and said it looked ok to him.. so i'm hoping he's right!)

    I was happy to have the 19w scan as I think it's important to know whether the baby is healthy or may require treatment when born etc. You'll enjoy seeing bubs too. In fact I saw the scan more as getting a look at bubs than looking to make sure its ok

    Hope the rest of your pg goes smoothly!

  10. #118

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    Emz that is great to hear little Abby has only a.05% chance Im sure our prayers will help and you will end up with a beautiful healthy bubba!

  11. #119
    lindie Guest

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    Hi Emz,

    we informed our OBGYN that we do not want anymore scans or tests that we will take this little fella the way he was sent to us.

    But we did make one decision, to have a C-section to make the least possible stress on him and that his head will probably be really too big for me anyway and if he does get into distress he could have a lot more serious problems.

    So that said thats the only thing that I really have relented on and we have really started to bond with him already so like you guys keep up the good work and may god bless you guys with a healthy little girl.

    Lindie

  12. #120

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    Hey everyone

    Just thought id give you all an update-

    For a start, ive got pelvic instability! Yay, something else to feel down about. While i was in getting that checked out i told the ob of my concerns as to how soon after birth they would be able to tell me if Abby has it or not. She said they would most likley have a pediatrician at the birth to check her over but we might not know for a few days at least if its not obvious. Thats pretty scary news as i just want this to be all over and done with asap so i can get on with everything, one way or the other.

    Not coping to well- Im happy and positive most of the day, but at least once a day im having a bit of a melt down and i just wish i knew how i could stop doing this as its making life very hard.

    Was at mums yesterday- she told me that i need to stop worrying about it. I asked her to tell me how. My sister is 22 and just had her tonsils out last week and mum looked like she was going to have a heart attack she was so worried- so if she feels that way over a minor thing like that, how in the world does she expect me to forget all about this and stop stressing about my little one? I know she just wants me to be happy (and i am most of the time) but surely she knows im going to stress about it from time to time.

    Anyway- when we went to have the amnio done, the specialist said he would look at our scans again and write up another report. I have an app with my GP to find out what he has put in the report. (maybe he will say it was all a bit mistake..... hmm probably not!) I think this is the better way to do it as there never seems to be enough time when i see the ob/midwife. Also going to get some info on the pelvic instability thing as i cant get into the hospital physio for at least 2 weeks- grrr how am i going to last 2 weeks!! I spose its going to last till months after bubby is born so id better get use to it. Im very thankful that while it hurts, it has no effect on Abby.

    Other than that, my belly is getting bigger, Abby's kicks are getting stronger and her room is getting fuller!!!! (lots of shopping in the last week) Apart from this stress, i love being pregnant, she is such a wonderful little friend and i cant wait to meet her. :hbeat:

    Oh! im 23 weeks today! yayyyyyyyy!!!!

  13. #121

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    Emma

    Have you thought about starting a journal about Abby and your pregnancy journey?

    You can write everything in there, which will help you get it out, and you can highlight the positive bits and go back and re-read those when you're feeling low.

    I did this with Zeke and I found that really helped... I'd even put in the things that made me laugh during the day, songs I heard which had a special meaning, nice things which people said that resonated with my spirit and filled me with hope, stuff like that.

    Thinking of you and your little gymnast

  14. #122

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    Hiya everyone

    I just thought I would post in here again to let those of you who have offered so much kindness and support during my pregnancy that Abby is perfectly fine and does not have Downs after all.

    I had a c section at 38 weeks. It was in my file that her cord blood had to be sent for testing, but my Ob told me that i would have to remind everyone on the day that it had to be done. I took his advice and told everyone that came in contact with me that her blood had to be sent off for testing.

    When I was in recovery I asked the midwife if Abby looked like she had it, she keept going back and forward to look at her but she told me she was to swolen to tell and she just couldnt be sure.

    Abby was in special care so i didnt get to spend that night with her, but i asked each midwife that came to look after me if they could go look at her and tell me what they thought. They all said they couldnt tell for sure but she looked "good"....

    My lovely midwife suprised me with a hungry visitor at 4am the next morning. This is when i got to bond with my darling, i got to feed her, kiss her, cuddle her and i just fell so deeply inlove with this little angel. I thought i loved her before, but that was nothing compared what i felt for her when we were finally together.

    I think it was day 2 when my DF told me that the pead had looked her over and decided not to send the blood off afterall beacuse he was sure that she didnt have Downs. It was good news, but I was so angry that the blood hadnt been sent. All thru the pregnancy id been told different things by different people and i just wanted to know for certain one way or another. I thought what DF was telling me hearsay as nobody had come to me directly to tell me why they think she doesnt have it.

    I felt like they were happy to remind me at each appointment all the reasons that suported her having it, so why cant they do the same for her not having it.

    Anyway, i left it at that, we went home on day 5 but after some feeding issues we were back in for a night.... hormones getting the better of me, I burst into tears after one midwife wouldnt stick to the plan we had for Abby, that if she couldnt get a propper feed off me, we would tube feed her and go from there. She just wouldnt do it and keept stuffing around with me expressing and putting bub on the boob where she was getting nothing at all. So i burst into tears and told her that i was sick of everything that had happened, being told by the ob that it was diagnosis that she had downs for sure, being told that we had to decide if we wanted to keep her if she had it, being treated like a naughty school girl after deciding not to have the amnio, being kept in hospital so many times for stupid reasons like my BSL's when they were on target, them not sending the blood away, being told she had a hole in her heart (tiny thank god!) and now her not going with the plan they had come up with to get Abby better again after going without propper feeding.

    She was shocked by what i had to say, about what other drs had told us and the way things had happened. She got another pead to come in and go over Abby in front of me and they also offered to do another blood test and send it off if i was still concerned. That pead also organised the most senior pead to come in the next morning and go over Abby again. He was wonderful. He pointed out all the reasons for her not having downs and explained everything to us. In the end he said he can say 100% that Abby does not have downs. It was what i needed to hear. I could stop worring. It was a wonderful moment. Df, Abby and i then snuggled for about an hour, just happy that it was all finally over.

    We went home that day. Abby is the most wonderful baby. She is always happy, eats well, sleeps thru the night and she just adores her bath time!

    We are such a happy little family, i am thankful every day that she is happy and healthy. I dont take her for granted..... babies are such little miracles and i feel blessed to have her.

  15. #123

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    Oh Emz, what a rollercoaster of emotions!
    I've been from sobbing to smiling so many times reading all these posts!

    What a relief, CONGRATULATIONS on having a beautiful healthy girl! \/
    And good on you for sticking up for yourself and saying how you felt, so glad you could get it all sorted in the end. I love your baby's name.

    All the best as you cherish and enjoy your new family!

  16. #124

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    Emma, that is a lovely relief to have read that all has turned out so perfectly for you........and wonderful to read that you are enjoying Abby so much........

  17. #125

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    I'm sure I've said this before emz, but WOO HOO!!!!!

  18. #126

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    Wow, CONGRATULATIONS, I am soooo happy for you and your family Emz. I have only just read this entire thread and it was a rollercoaster of emotions to read, so I can only just begin to imagine what it was like for you to live it. I am so happpy that she is so healthy and that you're all doing so well. Congratulations and wishing you all the best with little Abby!
    PS I know what it's like to be worried during pregnancy (we had numerous scares, one was cysts on her brain which they told us COULD be related to downs,) and it just makes everything slow and I know until we hold our littel ones we just cant' relax, so Im sooo happy you can now relax!
    xoxoxo

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