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Thread: Where's the magic?

  1. #1
    Fraser Guest

    Default Where's the magic?

    Am I the only one who is struggling to find the earth mother within? I am absolutely hating this - I feel so uncomfortable all the time and I'm not even half way through yet.

    I am in desperate need of the 2nd trimester happy hormones but am worried they may never arrive.

    I just feel the need to kick happy earth mothers in the shins - are they deluded or am I.

    Could it be that a small percentage of women are destined to be unhappy pregnant people??

    Please let there be others that aren't enjoying this.....



    Emily

  2. #2

    Default

    Haha, it's funny, I was saying to my mum the other day how I was tired and my belly was aching etc etc and then I said "It's just all so magical isn't it?"

    I think I expected it to be different. Maybe once the baby is kicking it might be?? Although I am dreading it being able to kick really hard :shock:

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    Hi Em.

    I hear you!! Some days I just feel like a fat frumpy person! I hate being uncomfortable in bed and walking around, my clothes don't fit me anymore and I just don't feel good about me.

    And then other days I feel like I'm the prettiest person on the planet and I feel great.

    You actually gave me some good advice a few weeks ago. If you are having a bad day starting thinking of some positives but I've put my spin on it and if I have a bad thought about my pregnancy or about me I need to find a postitive about my pregnancy or about me. Usually thinking about it helps or if I'm really really stuck I vent on here or ring one of my friends and have a good chat to them.

    Em, if you ever get stuck you can always e-mail me and we'll do happy thoughts together!!

    Take care!!

  4. #4

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    Emily,

    You are definitely not alone - with my first I spent the whole nine months wondering when I was going to love being pregnant or have that glow - it never came. I wasn't depressed or grumpy as such but it was just like oh well I'm pregnant, my belly's getting bigger, this kid is kicking the hell out of my ribs etc I'm tired and sick and only feel like eatin junk food. Yes the ultrasounds were good - for the half hour I was there. However, the first 24 hours after he was born though were absolute bliss and all I could do was stare and smile (after that real mothering needs and requirements kicked in, feeding was regular, sleeping irregular and all those things so it was then the introduction to life as I now know it). Much the same this time although probably a bit brighter some of the time (and financially better off so materialistically having more fun) but am still desperate for the end and to have this bubs in my arms and give him the cuddles that make everything so much more real and pleasurable.

    Anyway you aren't alone and not all of us are "earth mother" as you call it - especially while pregnant. Don't beat yourself up about it and get through to your date with the most positive attitude you can.

  5. #5

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    Ah Emily, don't worry, you're not alone. I'm going through my third pregnancy and I'm even more certain than ever that society has constructed a whole mythology around pregnancy which is designed to coax women into ensuring the survival of the species! You are totally right: pregnancy is largely uncomfortable, frightening and frustrating. I never look radient; I look puffy, my skin's [email protected] and my hair is lank. I am grumpy more often then not, and teary the rest of the time. Like Jaspen said; ultrasounds do put a huge smile on the dial for a a day or two but other wise there is precious little to smile about. I spend most of my pregnancies (especially the last 2) scared out of my mind about labour. Still, I think it's good for the soul (all the suffering) and it's good preparation for actually having a baby to care for. There is an even bigger set of warm fuzzy myths about being a new mother that i think are totally out of alignment with reality! But then once again, like Jaspen said: the 24 hours or so after birth is totally blissful So much character building going on hey? Good luck Emily... hope you find some bliss amongst it all

  6. #6
    Fraser Guest

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    Thanks ladies - that makes me feel a little more sane.

    I think I may feel the magic now, I just found out we're having a boy and I saw his foot complete with 5 toes on the scan - that's given me a new lease on this and I feel a little inspired!


    Thanks for your messages

    Em.

  7. #7

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    Emily i entirely know what you mean - up until i started to feel movemnt and the vomiting finally eased all of a week or so ago i was thinking - and saying - miracle of life my ar$e- and for all them saying that the third trimester aint much fun either am feeling severely ripped off at only getting 7 or eight weeks to actually "enjoy" this - and it isn't all roses all the time either only when you don't feel nauseous, or tired or uncomfortable - for those brief flutters you feel (or think you do) the heart beat you get to hear while the midwife checks things or the brief ultrasound images forever emblazened on your mind those are the good bits savour them while you have them....Me i am still wishing the whole pg away and want it over with to get to the end product...

  8. #8
    Cee_Cee99 Guest

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    Emily
    I'm 22 weeks today. The first 19 weeks I felt so horrible - fat, grumpy, tired, gassy, headaches, throwing up, then I had my ultrasound and they found something wrong, and will not know if my baby will be sick when it is born, so then I spent the next two weeks hysterical, crying and kicking and screaming and at one stage I thought - I spent the first 20 weeks feeling sick, and I'm going to spend the next 20 weeks worried sick that something is wrong with my baby. Pregnancy sucks - I am never doing this EVER again. It is without a doubt the worst thing I have ever done...

    Then, for some reason, this week I'm OK. My body changed shape, I have a waist again and I'm all 'out front', my headaches have gone, I'm not as tired or gassy, I don't feel like being sick, and if my baby is sick then I will learn to live with that and do the best I can.

    Somehow, I feel that all this physical sickness and emotional termoil is suppose to help us in some way prepare for the biggest thing that will ever happen in our lives. It start to focus on putting someone else before ourself. Maybe my happy hormones have finally started to kick in, but I'm doing OK now.... well at least today

    good luck on your journey, at least your not alone....

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