btw Serena, I just remembered some friends of mine did a "Bubba-Q" & wrote on the invite "Mummy & Daddy want to take this opportunity to have thier last uninterupted conversation with you.... they don't need presents because they are getting me!" It was just a lovely day with mums & dads having a glass of wine/beer & a simple bbq. More of a couple thing than a 'female event'. Maybe that would also be a compromise if you were unsure?