oh you poor thing sugar! i was worried like you. if it is possible to go into hospital it is a real relief. personally i had to do that until i could relax at first. i felt a bit reluctant but then thought no this is my bub and i need peace of mind and the midwives really understood that. i was just honest and said im inexperienced and scared and they said come in the first time i was worried. can you do that? if not, you could call a midwife to chat.