Hi Becky

I completely understand your situation, not only do I have a Mum who wants to be involved, my MIL is even more pushy on the issue. I used a comment I found here on bellybelly (thanks Kelly!) to tell them firmly how I felt:

"No one that wasn't present at the conception is going to be at the birth, unless they are medically necessary!"

That kind of lightened the mood on the message too. That then extended to MIL saying she wanted to come and "wait downstairs" while I was in labour. I told DP I didn't want this and that if she was going to insist then I didn't want her told when we go into labour. DP kind of argued the point on telling her, so instead of leaving it up to him I told MIL firmly that I didn't want anyone at the hospital distracting DP (she had some kind of idea that he'd come and have a cup of tea with her when he needed a break - what the??? I said he gets a break when I get a break!) and if she wasn't going to respect my wishes on this one then we definitely wouldn't call her when we went to the hospital.

THEN I asked Mum if she could come down beforehand and stay and then go to MILs while I'm in hospital (they are friendly). That way, since Mum is more likely to listen to me without argument MIL will have to go along with what we want as well. Unfortunately I opened a whole other can or worms with Mum 'cause she's bringing down her 3 year old foster-daughter, etc, etc, but we won't go into that.

Oh, and I told them both visiting hours were 3-4pm and 7-8pm (true) and nobody but DHs are allowed in outside of that. So if I give birth close to that time but don't want to see anyone, they'll have to come the next day. DP has agreed to do whatever I want, but we have had several fights about not showing 'favouritism' to my Mum over his. Grrrr... :fuming:

All in all, what I'm trying to say is try to get your DH to see your point of view. You could try telling him that often with first babies when you think labour has started, it stops, or it goes on and on and on. Also, you might go into labour in the middle of the night and you can't ring then. If anyone was to come to the hospital, they won't be allowed in if you don't want them so that would only mean hours and hours waiting with nothing to do. Much better for them to be at home and you to call afterwards.

Let us know how you go. It might help me get it right in March!