Becky..... I was there all of 12 days ago.

The absolute best advice I can give you is to do what I DIDN'T do...be upfront and honest with your Mum. I wanted my sister & my DH in with me and my sister brought it up with my Mum several months before I was due.

I've never had a good relationship with my Mum and didn't feel like I would be comfortable with my Mum in the room while I was in labour. Mum 'seemed' ok with it all, I allowed her to visit while I was in early labour once the epidural was in place and I felt in control.

Unfortunately, it went downhill from there. Mum went off shopping for a few hours and returned (without my knowledge) to the hospital right when it was time for me to push. Instead of returning to the waiting room where she had been instructed to wait during labour; she stood at the entrance to the room with only the drawn curtain between us.

She did this KNOWING how I felt; particularly upsetting as I had felt very comfortable and balanced/in control with just the midwife with my sister & DH by my side. Everytime my sister or DH were quiet in their coaching/encouragement; my Mum would pipe up with some statement like 'you're doing so well!'. Seriously, the midwife commented that my BP went up everytime my mother made some comment. In the end, her mobile went off and she got yelled at by both my sister & DH!

My mum is domineering and just couldn't understand why I didn't want her there. It didn't occur to her that after having an ordinary relationship for the last 10-15 years; why I wouldn't suddenly want her involved. She felt it wasn't 'normal' for her daughter to not want her present at the birth of her child.

After that long saga, I guess my advice is that you are direct and honest...I wish I had been. She might get upset, might feel hard-done-by but that's her problem. The birth of your child is about you and your DH; not about your mother. If you feel you're most comfortable without her there, then follow your gut instinct.

Besides, if you're upfront and honest and she does turn up and try and be involved; you can ask the hospital staff for support to keep her out of the room.

Best of luck!