oh my... i am so incredibly sorry for your loss. All I can say is that I know what it feels like. My heart truly goes out to you.

If you ever want to chat or share your journey I'm here for you (kriklo79@hotmailcom). I know 10-12 other girls who have lost babies due to incompetent cervix, some of them as many as 3. Its such a terrible condition.

I just had the 1 year anniversary of my little girl being born, we were hoping she would hang on after I was dilating and got the emergency McDonald stitch, but a few days after my water broke I had to be induced. Our world truly fell apart.

I started looking into our options for a future pregnancy but read so many stories about vaginal stitches going wrong, I opted for the abdominal cerclage. Although there are a couple of experienced doctors in Australia, (Dr Brunello in Brisbane and Dr Umstad in Melbourne) we decided to go to the US to get it done by Dr Davis. Dr Davis told us my incompetent cervix is now cured. Its been 9 weeks since the operation and we'll start thinking about ttc soon.

Not a day or night go by without me longing for my baby girl. I have a broken heart, I lay awake at night, I feel lost and confused, I'm angry and I blame myself, the doctors and the world. I have good days and bad days, but every day is another day I should have my baby in my arms. Luckily I have met other mums who know what it feels like and their support have meant the world to me. Don't be afraid to reach out.

Lots of very gentle hugs to you and and your family, and lots of floaty kisses to Ellie. What a beautiful name, I'm sure she was gorgeous. We'll light a little candle for her tonight.

xoxox