So sorry to hear about your cousin. I totally understand what your experiencing cos i have been exactly the same...........actually so bad i had to see psychologists and psychiatrists about it while pregnant.

Ive just had #7. The day i found out i was pregnant with #2 i had been to my best friends funeral for her little boy who passed from SIDS. My entire pregnancy with #2 and 3 was extremely stressful and i was anxious like you are, about the same things. Then i met my now BFF who weeks after meeting her had a stillborn. My pregnancy with #4,5 and 6 i was even worse with my anxiety. #7, i was really good with though, mostly calm, some anxious moments here and there but otherwise good.

All i can suggest is be kind to yourself and keep talking to your healthcare providers about anything you are feeling. Its extremely hard when it happens to someone so close to you because you suddenly realise all this stuff you hadnt been thinking about before. I remember how relaxed i was with #1.

Try and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can and please talk to your main caregiver about talking to someone if you find yourself unable to cope.