I'll add my thoughts to the list here, Puppies.
I can remember that feeling pretty well from my first baby. I had visions of myself tearing nearly in half and never being the same again, fear of the unknown, fear of the pain, etc. I was a tense and nervous wreck! Thankfully my baby didn't make me wait too long, 'cause along with the dread, I also wanted to just get it done and over with!
And, as the other ladies have said, YOU CAN DO IT! I did it. It hurt, for sure. But it was not an unfamiliar pain, or a frightening pain. I could feel that it was a working pain - overwhelming at times, and as Flowerchild has said, those are the times when you've got to give in and work with it - focus and let it go.
Learn as much as you can about what your body is going to be doing in labour. Make sure someone is going to be there who can really support you - your DH might not be up to the task, simply because he doesn't know how. If he'll educate himself, then great, otherwise, look at getting a doula, or having an experienced friend with you.
I personally would highly recommend using water in labour - it provides great pain relief and relaxation. Maybe you can see what is available where you plan to give birth - a birth tub would be great, but even a shower helps!
If it's any comfort to you, my first birth went quite well - I woke up in labour at 7:00 or so, got to the hospital at 9:30, and baby was born at 1:30 that afternoon. I had some pain relief at 7-8 cm (I don't think they knew how far I was then - they shouldn't have given it to me, 'cause I was in transition, and baby was born about 1 hour later.) No tearing.
Yes, it hurt, but you were made for it, and you can do it! I had no fear of labour anymore after that birth.
My second birth was equally good. Very much the same story, just two years later.
My third was a planned homebirth, and it was the best so far, I think. Spent all day in light labour, walking around town with my DH, snuggled up on the couch watching movies, relaxing in the bath.... Then when things picked up around supper time, I remained in the bath, and after about an hour and a half, began to push, and about 5-10 minutes later baby was here. Again, no tearing, and this time no drugs.
As far as fear for your baby goes - they'll be keeping a careful eye on both of you. The midwives will check your baby's heart rate periodically throughout your labour, and make sure that he's doing fine. And if things would go wrong, we live in a day and age when they can quickly and safely get that baby out surgically. You can prepare yourself for that possibility, too, but don't dwell on that - the vast majority of births do not require surigcal intervention!
Thank you so much ladies. I am beginning to really feel much better already. I can do this! I think that your right, I need to speak positive and think positive thoughts. I guess its all part of the processes. I am so looking forward to meeting our little gift from God! I am a christian woman and I know I have lost focus on the most important thing and I need to regain focus and trust that God would never have given me the gift of conception and the gift of a easy and lovely pregnancy if he didn't think I could finish the race.
YEP I AM UP FOR THIS AND BETTER STILL I AM GOING TO DO IT WELL AND EVEN IMPRESS MYSELF WITH HOW WELL I DO... Yeah now I am getting excited, woohooo!
Glad to hear u are feeling better after reading these posts, its amazing what some reassurance can do!
I had my first bub in April and had VB went in to labour at home the day after i was due, starting having contractions at 1.30am, it was strange and yeah they were painful, i laboured at home watching dvds and homeshopping channel LOL laying over my fit ball. i woke my DH at 5.30am and told him what was happening until then i was on my own just adjusitng to what was happening to my body and mentally preparing for what was going to happen.
We went to hospital at 10am and our DS was born at 1.42pm! We were in 2nd stage for 2 hours and it was hard at times but my body took over and knew what needed to happen. i had gas for pain relief but that was at about 12 o clock. I in the end i had an episiotomy and a had a few problems, but i am so proud of myself for getting thru it. Like u i was petrified of the birth but i read as much as i could and chose not to listen to the people who thought it would be good for me to hear how horrible their birth was! No matter which way your baby is born it is not easy but it is worth it, my birth wasnt as straightforward as i wanted but my body knew how to cope and yours will too! Good luck and just believe in yourself and your body :-)
I have had the pleasure of birthing 3 beautiful babies.
My firs bub i was induced due to medical reasons, my waters broke naturally and she arrived 4 hours after, i didnt require any stitching.
My second bub was 10 days late and he arrived in the shower at the hospital in a 40 minute labour again no stitches.
My most recent bub number 3 came on his own at the birthing unit in a 55 minute labour.
I am very blessed to have quick natural labours. my second and third all with no pain relief.
I got through with positive thinking and by realising all the hard work was for a purpose, every contraction was doing a job and bringing my babies closer.
Get lots of rest before hand .
Take care of yourself and look forward to meeting your new arrival
Thank you everyone for such wonderful posts! The passion and positive energy on this thread is amazing...I have been writing things down as I read!
Puppies, my midwife recommended I start writing down affirmations to put around the house to help my mind prepare for birth...I now have a list thanks to all the amazing wisdom on this thread!!!
puppies -
it is hard to know what to expect and i am guessing this is where your fear is coming from
i want to tell you i had 2 drug free birth (both no from complete choice but from unusual circumstances and fast established labours - one in an ambulance and the other accidently in my bedroom.)
you sort of take it a step at a time as labour progresses - i had relatively silent births and somewhat mediated and breathe my way through (feel free to look up both birth stories) telling myself this is what my body was designed for and i could do it,
the labour pains can hurt - i found the shower great! wish i had the chance with #1 . but when you get to pushing and you use those contractions i honestly wasnt in all that much pain. strange i know but it is a different feeling.
when that baby pushes out it is the most amazing feeling and when you hear him cry everything disappears in the room except you and bub! it is amazing,
I was paranoid something would go wrong with Brock's birth. It was mostly due to the fact that I'd be giving birth for the 1st time at 42. I worried I'd go early & bubs wouldn't survive. I worried I'd go over & the placenta would deteriorate due to my age. I worried that he wouldn't make it. I worried something would go wrong and I'd have to have an emergency C section. I worried for nothing. Yes there was pain, but the drugs took the edge off it. Yes it took a while but it was more than worth it.
Now I've had time to reflect on my birth I truly believe the worst part of it was when I was at home. Once I was at hossy I felt far safer & more in control. I didn't expect to feel that way but that's just the way it turned out.
Keep up those positive thoughts. Make sure you read up on second stage. I regret not doing more of that.
There is lots of websites about labour and the stages you go thru...I don't have any off the top of my head but if you google it they will pop up! Spend time reading them as they will mentally prepare you for what will happen but remember that it is not the same for every woman!
I had the same aprehension as you but like it has been stated by the wise women before me...your body has this unbeleivable way of knowing what to do and when to do it!!! I was amazed at how it all works!!
My mum gave me one piece of advice that really worked for me and that was to stay relaxed and don't try and fight the urges or feelings your body gives you...just go with it!!!
I spent the whole day(woke up at 7am) thinking I was having contractions but because I had a week to go I kept telling myself it wasn't....I spent all day on this site reading labour stories and trying to work out if I was having Braxton Hicks or the real deal! I sent my hubby to work at 11.30pm that night still in denial but by 2am I was having really close and long contractions so I rang the hospital and they said to stay at home a bit longer.....then I had a show and started being sick...That FREAKED me out!!
Hubby came home from work about 3am and rang the hospital for me and they said come in so I did (4am) because being sick is a sign of labour (now I know that) They examined me and were going to send me home to get some sleep but then I had a contraction and an amazing urge to push which I went with....
My waters broke and an hour and a half later (6.55am) my beautiful baby boy was here!!!
It was only a 4 hour labour...(they took it from active labour 2am) No drugs at all which made me even prouder!! My midwife was amazing and hubby of course!!!
So I realised I actually did all the pre labour work at home that day and didn't even know it!!!
Hey yea it doesn't tickle but my gosh did I learn something about my body and how amazing we women really are!!!
At the end of this long story I will finish with believe in your body and you will know what to do!! I can't wait to do it again!!!!!!
Good luck with it all xoxoxoxo
I had a fantastic second labour and I give the information in this thread lots of credit for it! It is so empowering to learn how your body works in labour and how to work with it, instead of against it.
I had visions of myself tearing nearly in half and never being the same again, fear of the unknown, fear of the pain, etc. I was a tense and nervous wreck! Thankfully my baby didn't make me wait too long, 'cause along with the dread, I also wanted to just get it done and over with! 
I did it. It hurt, for sure. But it was not an unfamiliar pain, or a frightening pain. I could feel that it was a working pain - overwhelming at times, and as Flowerchild has said, those are the times when you've got to give in and work with it - focus and let it go. 
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