Was just on the phone to MIL, she sounded really disappointed that my mum is only coming up right after the birth, pretty much booking her flights when I go into labour. She seems to think I'm "doing it tough" by being far away and not being able to hang out at my mum's house during third tri.
She has offered to come and keep me company if I want it or am feeling lonely. She spent a lot of time at her mum's place when heavily pregnant, and my SIL was at her place nearly every day.
I can't think of anything worse! She gives great foot massages and belly rubs, for sure. But right now, I hate the thought of visitors. I just want to have my days, in my nest, sleeping when I want to, pottering around and getting ready for our new arrival. Visitors just make mess and disrupt my routine. I'm not an anti-social person, I love being around other people, but on my terms. Even if mum and I lived in the same city, I wouldn't be going round to her place a lot.
Is it just a bizarre family phenomenon to spend heaps of time at your mum's place? Or am I the nut job for being a hermit?
Nah you're not a nut job! When you're as pregnant as you are, you just want to relax. Especially when it's your first as you are never going to be such a free agent again lol!
FWIW I couldn't stand being around anyone when I was heavily pregnant, let alone my Mum. All she cared about was if i was in labour or not! She seriously rang me on August 1st asking if anything was happening, ya know seeing it was August. Never mind I wasn't actually due til the 10th!
I pretty much moved back in with my Mummy, to my first baby, because she lived closer to the hospital... It was noice, but I liked the 2nd time around being in my own surroundings and just been able to chil in my own home...
Nope I spent 0 time with my mum (but to be fair I lived with my grandparents so couldnt get away from them) and I liked it that way (but my mum and I dont really get on too well).
Maternity leave is never the same again as it is for your first one... you never get all this time to yourself again and nesting around by yourself is magic. I loved that too!
My Mum is dead so I wonder how you MIL would take that? My MIL has made sympathetic comments about me not having my Mum, but she never tries to fill her shoes.
I love my Mum, but didn't feel the need to hang at her place waiting for bub to come. We didn't even tell the folks we were heading to the hospital, just rang them when bub was here. But Mum reckons she knew anyway and was waiting all day. I got in trouble for that one, but only briefly cos then she had a granbubba to check out.
I reckon I'll be similar to you - I can't handle being around my Mum for long periods now, let alone being that pregnant! She'd have to come to our house cos they're two hours away and not near the hospital, and I can just imagine what that would be like - gives me shivers just thinking about it now lol
I'm gonna go against the grain and say I don't think my mum will be able to get rid of me at the end of this pregnancy We're super close, and we do live next door to each other... When I was pregnant with Ianto, the plan was for me to spend pretty much every day at her place from around 36 weeks when Scott was working - I expect I'll be doing that for this one
(plus she's one of my birth partners, so she really will be there are the ery end )
I did spend a lot of time with my Mum during my third trimester but then again, I'd spent a lot of time with her before and still now, I see her almost daily so I guess that is just our relationship. That sounds really intense but she isn't interfering or anything, more like a good friend and I enjoy talking about our days together plus she helps entertain DD while I get dinner sorted (she drops by on the way home from work) which is really helpful as a single Mum. Anyway, getting way off track but at any rate, I don't think there are any rules -- you just go with how you feel!
I spent some time with mine but didn't just hang out heaps and I appreciated her help after my first was born far more than the time leading up to her birth. That was more boredom alleviation
Having your mum around
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My MIL has made sympathetic comments about me not having my Mum, but she never tries to fill her shoes.
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