Major stress and anxiety - I think Im losing the plot! Please help

[first_time_mummy]

In need of a bit of advice/help.
I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with my second child. I also have a 3 year old, and me and my husband recently moved to country nsw. We just bought a small two bedroom house on 6 acres, and I have a lot of animals and responsibility in looking after them.

I have recently found my self getting very very overwhelmed and stressed over every little thing. I will yell at my poor three year old over the slightest of things.. my husband even commented that i had a crazy look in my eye one night, which scared the heck out of me, as I dont know why id get so fired up over such little things. I find myself constantly cleaning the house, and feeling as though it never looks any better, and that its never ending! As soon as my husband gets home, I find every reason to pick at him (like dirty boots left in the kitchen, or dropping crumbs on my lounge....).... I even get frustrated when my three year old is talking to me, and find myself telling him to go away (which makes me feel awful afterward).

I suffer bad anxiety and often get shortness of breath and panic attacks over every slightest thing. Lately ive been having major panic attacks over the strong wind storms we have here, and i constantly worry my bird aviaries are going to blow away (weird I know).

I went to the doctors and explained it to them, which they put it down to stress etc, and issued me anti depressants. ( I got upset with myself that I have come to a point of needing medication, but i took the course of them, and when they ran out, i decided not to go back on them.

I am getting to a point were im scared out of my mind about having a second baby, and the stresses it will bring. Im alwasy worrying about how we will handle raising two children in a tiny two bedroom house, I worry that the new borns crying will keep my three year old up all night, im worried about the sleepless nights and the big responsibility of ensuring the baby grows up to be a good child... Is this all normal?

I know a lot of my stress is due to the amount of animals/pets I have here to look after. I have four aviaries of birds, (which i love), but ontop of that I have 13 chooks, 2 dogs (that never stay home and are always running off to venture at the neighbours property), two horses and two goats!!
I dont know if its just the pregnancy hormones making everything triple bad, but i feel as though im losing the plot, and stress myself out that much that ive been getting extremely bad migraines! :-(

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Please dont judge me, as it really wouldnt help me in any way to be put down or abused.
I find talking to my mum helps a lot, but shes very old fashioned, and i dont want to scare her too much. Ive found myself worrying that my husband might think of me as some sort of nut job, and that he will leave me.

[Traveller]

First have a hug It's great that you have recognised you are becoming anxious again, and the next step now is to speak to someone about it. Probably the best first step would be to go to your GP and ask for referral to a psychologist, especially if you are not keen to go back on the medication. They will be able to talk you through your options and give you some coping strategies. I hope you feel better soon.

[Chocaholic]

Definitely get a referral to a psychologist. They can help. Also talk to whoever is managing your pregnancy and see if they can provide some additional support.

Have you sat down and spoken to both your DH and son to explain how you feel. Obviously it would have to be simple for your son but at least he then knows it is not him.

Also, if the animals are stressing you out, maybe you should look at rehoming them until you are in a better space to cope.

Hope you feel better soon

[first_time_mummy]

Thankyou so much for your replies. xx
I have told my husband how im feeling, but not to the 'full' extent. I just tell him im a bit stressed. He will often pick up on when Im getting very anxious or stressed and tell me to try relax a bit, but thats it. I should probably sit down and have a proper chat with him, or take him with me to a psychiatrist, but I feel like itll just scare him and he will think im a nut job :-(

I have explained it to my doctor, but I try to hide the extent of it, as im embarassed and so scared theyll think im a whacko and report me to child services or something! (even though i'd never hurt or harm my kids!!)

[Traveller]

If you find it hard to vocalise, could you print off this thread and take it with you to your GP?

[Jessiebean]

GPs are there to help, not report and you can't expect your husband to sympathise and understand if he doesn't know what's going on- I have been where you are and it is hard, I do think a psychologist could be agreat help but unless the GP knows what is happening they won't do a referral for you. I agree that re-homing some of the animals is a really good idea- much better than having too much on your plate when the baby arrives.
See if you can find time for a few Yoga breathing exercises, they feel odd and sometimes silly at first but they can really help especially if you are prone to panic attacks and hyperventilation ( I was) humming bee breath and yoga nidra are good places to start and you don't have to tie yourself up in knots! Google them!

[first_time_mummy]

If you find it hard to vocalise, could you print off this thread and take it with you to your GP?

Thats actually a great idea!
And thankyou for your help. I find it easier to sit here and talk about it on the net, cause its not face to face and I dont feel as much judgement if I dont see the reactions of those hearing it.

[nel1574]

Hi! I'm in country NSW also, I'm exactly the same, having panic attacks and worries about everything!! I have 6 weeks to go today, am on bed rest with a 5 yr old and 3 yr old to look after!!