Wow ladies - just wanted to pop my head in and say you've given me a new reason to be thankful for the mum and MIL I have! They wouldn't dream of coming uninvited, and my mum has not even hinted that she would like to be there. (I really don't know if she would or not - something to think about some day maybe, since she only had c-sections, and I know she hated that. Maybe helping at one of my or my sister's births would be nice for her . . . hmmmmmm. Not now though.) MIL did say that if they need an extra pair of hands she'll be there! I just laughed. For now, I'm with you ladies - if you weren't at the conception, you shouldn't be at the delivery! (Unless you're the midwife - can't escape them, I guess! )
Anyways, I hope your situations resolve peaceably, and remind yourself that you are not asking anything unreasonable. It is perfectly normal and right to expect to labour and deliver with those you are comfortable with, and no one else. Don't let them guilt you into thinking otherwise. They are the ones being unreasonable!