Hello everyone,
I write this not because I really need advice, but just to hear how others have coped with unwanted birth partners. My mum and I have a strained relationship, where it has a certain equilibrium that means I am the strong one, and she is allowed to be the weaker one, you know, crying on my shoulder, asking for advice and support, etc. I am always encouraging, motivating, and consoling her.

I am having my sister and husband as birth support partners, but mum has dropped many hints that she will be there as well. She has pretty much said "no one can make me leave".

The thing is, I love her and don't want to hurt her feelings, but I just feel so uncomfortable when I think about being in such a vulnerable state in front of her. I can't help but think that when I should be concentrating on labouring, I will be worried about what she is thinking, whether she is ok and comfortable, etc.

I can't talk to her about it as she will not understand and feel rejected. She is a bit of a "me" person, so will focus mainly on her own feelings of disappointment, not my feelings.

At this stage I am trying to make it so that it seems as if the hospital has a 2 person only rule, so she will have to wait outside. I just don't want to have to be the one to enforce it if she stays in there. I have spoken to my sis about being strong with her and telling the midwives to ask mum to leave if she is still there in the later stage, but I still get a stab of guilt when I think of my poor mum getting kicked out!

Gee, it is hard enough being a daughter, let alone motherhood!

Thanks for listening