No antenatal classes - feeling unprepared!

[amberdee]

Hello, just wondering if you could share your experiences with antenatal classes...
Becasuse I live so far from the hospital (2.5 hrs) I haven't been able to attend any antenatal classes. I've been doing quite a bit of reading instead (especially the BB forums!) but I'm still feeling really unprepared for labour and birth. (Though I guess this feeling is probably normal!)

So I'm just wondering what I might have missed out on by not going to classes? What sort of things do they usually cover? Any great tips?!

I guess a large part of my worry too is that although I've done quite a lot of reading, DH is not so keen on reading, so I feel like he would have really got a lot from going to to classes instead. Of course we've discussed things together to some extent, but I dunno... I just feel like we've missed out on proper preparation!!

[visitor1]

I learnt about breathing instead of pushing, different druf options, positions for labour, wat to except during and after labour, BF, how to fold nappies, c-sections, tears, episiotomys (sp?), vac extraction, forceps etc.

TBH... i could ahve skipped the classes and still been prepared... i done alot of reading myself so i learnt more that way then i did in classes. BUt they are a good stepping stone for first time mums...

[MamaPan]

Just an idea are there any DVDs that you could watch together??? That could help and you could practice together things (positions, massage etc) that you would normally do in a class? Maybe your hosp could recommend one for people who cannot attend? Or someone on here may have some recommendations?
I am attending mine in a few weeks (i think at 32 weeks) so sorry I cant shed much light on what happens, though I think it is an explanation of the pain control options, an explnantion of the process - when to call hosp, when to come in, how to time contractions etc and then practical tips like massage etc. Also what to pack in hosp bag etc (well i hope it covres those things as thats what I need to know ha ha!). I would post what happens after my class but you lucky thing will be holding your bubs by then!

[Enchanted]

Hi amberdee,

I had my second class this week and so far I have found that everything I have been told I have read. My DH is the same as yours... he isn't into reading that much so it has been good for him to hear the info BUT as each week passes by DH is getting more and more interested in learning abou what will happen etc... so I printed off some info from here on BB and gave it to DH to read while he was in the bath. I pretty much gave it to him and said "Here, read this or else!!". Not sure if that tactic will work for you and your DH and if not I think pregpans idea about a dvd is great. There are plenty around and I am sure that everything we need to know is in the millions of books we have!! The articles on BB are great too so maybe read them if you haven't already.

[MamaPan]

If you have foxtel the discovery health channel has heaps of pregnancy, birth and baby shows - perhaps that could be worth checking out to get some shows for you to watch together - may peak his interest for some reading!!!

[Snowy Love]

I don't know how close you are to a library, but you can get books and perhaps videos/DVD's that might help - even if you local library doesn't have anything they should be able to order stuff from the State Library (I know most people aren't aware of this function - My Mum works at the Qld State Library otherwise I wouldn't know).

I found that DH learnt alot more at the classes than I did (I had a BB education). I could tell him things (no chance of getting him to read antenatal books) but they only sunk in at the classes - someone else telling him so maybe a video is the way to go.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

You've not missed much. We covered what labour is, what interventions the hospital wants you to have (well, not worded like that), a tour of the birth suite and "breastfeeding is easy and natural, here's a doll to practice holding to your covered-up breast".

What you actually need to know, but aren't told:
To push, pretend it's the biggest poo in the world.
If you tell the people pushing interventions to go away and shut up, they have to. No one can give you drugs/surgery or take your baby away without consent. REMEMBER THIS - people will try to bully you by telling you otherwise.
If you're on a monitor, you can request the monitoring is stopped at any time. If someone ignores your request, rip the thing off yourself.
Breastfeeding is very hard at first - expect a problem or two. Get a decent advisor's phone number before the birth if you do have major problems. To some women it's easy, but for most of us it's a learned skill, like walking. Hard at first with a few bumps, but second nature after just a few weeks.

[Tobily]

You've not missed much. We covered what labour is, what interventions the hospital wants you to have (well, not worded like that), a tour of the birth suite and "breastfeeding is easy and natural, here's a doll to practice holding to your covered-up breast".

What you actually need to know, but aren't told:
To push, pretend it's the biggest poo in the world.
If you tell the people pushing interventions to go away and shut up, they have to. No one can give you drugs/surgery or take your baby away without consent. REMEMBER THIS - people will try to bully you by telling you otherwise.
If you're on a monitor, you can request the monitoring is stopped at any time. If someone ignores your request, rip the thing off yourself.
Breastfeeding is very hard at first - expect a problem or two. Get a decent advisor's phone number before the birth if you do have major problems. To some women it's easy, but for most of us it's a learned skill, like walking. Hard at first with a few bumps, but second nature after just a few weeks.

Yep!! What she said

I don't think I learnt a single thing at my classes that was any use to me at all during my labours.
I learnt alot more from online boards like this one with real women talking about what really happens in hospitals and in labour.
Do lots of reading here and you'll learn much more than you ever will at a hospital class - where as Ryn pointed out they only tell you what they want you to know anyway

[Karina]

I went to classes at my hospital when I was about 32 weeks pregnant. The midwives talked about stuff like how labour starts and how to know if you are in labour, when to come to hospital/call the hosopital, the stages of labour, natural techniques for coping (breathing, massage, water etc) as well as drug type pain relief, and they also spoke very breifly on caesarians, a bit on breastfeeding, and what to expect in the few days after giving birth, and about pushing.. there was probably more, but i cant remember now.
To be honest, DH and I had done alot of reading ourselves, and while we did get a bit out of the classes, we seemed to be the only ones who had actually done any reading beforehand. We sort of knew most of the stuff we talked about in the classes (with the exception of stuff specific to that hospital). If you have any questions please post them, because I am sure heaps of lovely ladies will be able to give you plenty of helpful info.

[Maybebabie]

Sorry if this is a bit off track but it seems that many of you have started classes about the 32 week mark. I was just wondering how many classes you go to and how long they are.

I will be 35 weeks at my first class (though up till the actual dates & times were sent my ob said they would start at 34 weeks). There are 3 classes which are 2 1/2hours each. Which means that i will be 37 weeks at my last class. It's a bit scary that they start so late but i can sorta understand it keeps the info fresh. I am a little freaked as both dh and i were early babies at about 36 weeks for me and 38 for him, so i am a bit worried about missing the class(es) or not being able to concentrate at the last class in particular as I can't imagine paying attention for a whole 2 1/2hrs by then, especially since my last day at work is actually the folowing day and i will not doubt have a million things running through my head about what needs to get done.

For eg the midwife asked me if i plan to breastfeed and what i had read/learnt about it at my last appt. I said i expected that they would cover this in the classes (aba memberships/ good books etc), to which her reply was i don't know what they cover in the classes beacuse i never run them. So i don't know what to expect out of the classes and it doesn't leave a lot of time for me to find out the anwers to any questions i have if they don't cover topics i expected them to.

[Enchanted]

Maybebabie- I finish my classes when I am 36 weeks when I finish my classes! I had a friend who finished her classes the day before she was due! So that didn't make me feel as bad... I have a few people in my class who will finish when they are 38 weeks. I just think... if we go early, we go early! I am sure that we won't care if we haven't finished our classes as we will have out bubs! Plus... there is so much support around if we need it...

[amberdee]

Thanks everyone! I feel a bit better knowing that I have probably read up on most of the things you've mentioned. And DVDs definately sound like a great idea to get DH up to speed! Like you say Malakili, I can tell DH about things I've read but I don't think it's enough to make it really sink in! I'll have to ask both my doctor and the hospital if they have any DVDs they can loan me or something. I'll check the library too (though the stuff they have there usually seems to be decades old!).

Ryn - thanks so much for the tips too! You've touched on some the exact things that worry me. ie. That if I'm not well informed enough, I'll get pushed into doing things I don't really want.

[Karina]

Maybebabie, my hospital had two options for the classes. You could either spend a whole day there, or go for 2 hours a week over about 6 weeks. We chose the full day option because I wasnt too keen on the 6 week option! We went to two seperate ones: one was all about labour and birth, and the other was all about "parenting". The midwife running the second one talked about breastfeeding. There wasnt really any breastfeeding talk in the first one. I went at 32 weeks because that is when the hospital suggested that I go.

amberdee, i learnt more from reading BB than I did from the classes...

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Amberdee, I was pushed into a lot of things, including constant monitoring and giving my son formula, by thinly veiled threats. But no midwife, no matter how nasty, can even touch you or your baby without permission. It's worth remembering.

Can you get a local midwife to come to you to answer any questions your DH has?

[amberdee]

Thanks Ryn. I imagine it's hard to stand up to pushy people when everything's new to you and they think they know better! I'll keep your words in mind!

As for DH, he has a rather relaxed 'deal with it as it comes' attitude. Possibly a good thing actually to counteract my worrying! But I just want to make sure he generally knows what to expect, what my preferences are, and what he can do to support me. (By the way, I don't want to put him in a bad light! He really is the most caring supportive person and I'm sure we'll both cope just fine in the end. )

[Enchanted]

I know what you mean about your DH amberdee. My DH is also a very supportive and caring person but I stress too, I think just because it is all so new to him and he doesn't know what we 'know' IYKWIM. I bet they will suprise us though and be the best support people and the best Dads in the world!!

[BhoysGirl]

Hi Amberdee

Our classes covered things like what a "normal" birth process is like, then pain relief options, then "unexpected outcomes" (which was things like c-sections, forceps, vacuums), then what the baby will look like/behave like in the first day or so after birth, some breastfeeding info, some support info (like the ABA, post natal depression help, MCHN's), then general safety & coping ideas. This was over 5 weeks, so not everything at once thank goodness.

But, the things that I found most useful (cos I'm a first timer) were:

- take the big surfboard pads to hospital, and probably a couple of packs of pads.
- expect to be teary on the third day or so
- try to get some frozen meals stored up in the freezer for when you get home - eg soups, quiches, spag bol. THings that are really quick & easy for you (or DH) to prepare when you're first at home, cos you'll be exhausted
- don't worry about doing everything in the first couple of weeks - take care of yourself as well as taking care of the baby, and don't worry about housework (particularly like this one myself )
- my DH says that he found it useful finding out about what the baby would look like eg - and I quote - he's now not going to be quite so freaked out by the size of the baby's genitalia, cos now he knows that it's likely that they'll be swollen, he's not going to worry about the rashes, or milia that baby might have, or if the skin is dry & flakey if bubs is a bit overcooked, or the shape of its head, cos these things will generally resolve in a day or so. He does tell me that he is still a little bit freaked by how they measure dilation when we're in first stage of labour....
- to expect that different midwives will probably have different ways of helping you with breastfeeding, but to try to find one that works the best for you & to persist, persist, persist. My Sister had her bubs just last week & this is one of the things that she has really struggled with - she'd be trying out something that one had suggested that she thought was working, but then the next one would come in & tell her something completely different. It's knocked her confidence a bit, so my take out from that is to try to stand up for myself a bit more than she did if I get a bossy midwife that I don't like so much.
- and finally, that they can come out pretty sleepy for a couple of days & you'll think that maybe you've got a "good" one....then they start to wake up a bit more, which apparently involves crying, and being harder to settle. So not to stress if this happens to you (ha - easier said than done I think!)

Anyway, don't know if this is of any use, it was just stuff that I could remember off the top of my head. Good luck!!

[MumofLewis]

Hi,

I was pretty unimpressed by my class. You will have read most things already. The most important stuff to me was:
Try and stay at home until your contractions are 5 mins apart and 60 seconds long or if your waters break (probably different for you being so far away)
We learnt about dilation which DH didn't know so that was worth him hearing how long it would take etc and how I might be feeling.
Drug options, basically gas, pethadine and epidural
Labour positions to ease pain
A very quick tour of the delivery suite.

There is a good DVD called Being Dad which is available in Kmart etc which would be good for you both.
Also maybe your hospital could send you out the booklet that they give out in class, I read through that and it covered everything she said. My breastfeeding talk was done seperate to the ante natal calss but you will get the chance to learn that again after the birth so don't worry too much.
Good luck