Gabysmum, Don't use the castor oil. As goldilocks has stated it can cause the baby to pass meconium in the placenta. My OB even told me that this is very dangerous and can lead to a still birth. No not always but it can and most midwives will tell you not to use it. I just don't think it's worth it.
I think what you have to remember is that you are paying him. So therefore he should be listening to you and your needs. It's not like you're not due. I think he will walk all over you if you don't stand up and say exactly what you want.
I have the gels to ripen my cervix, I think it is a gentle induction tool, and gives you time to ease into labour. I don't like my waters (Too hard and fast after they are broken) being broken but really have no choice as they need to make sure the cord is out of the way and guide bubs head down, since my babies never engage. I would definitely call his office and speak to him again and basically demand what you want. Surely he understands that you need to get bub out before DH goes overseas.