you know you're heavily pregnant when...

haha im with the ladies who cant pick up hand bags and clean benchs as they go - some cleaning company could make some very good $$ selling preg shirts that come with leaning rags attached to the belly! ... as for the ladies who got stuck in the bath, that hasnt happend yet but i did get suck between a book case and the couch...DH had to move the couch for me :redface:

i had a classic one tonight when i saw my mum and dad and nanna...
she's 88 years old and showed ME how to get out of a chair easier then i had been!

When you would rather park a long way away from the door, in a park that has an Island next to the drivers door so you can open it, and hope that the walk to the shops will help induce labour.

You need to buy shares in Tena Lady

Your house smells like Clary Sage oil

All of your nappies and baby clothes have been washed twice and you are contemplating doing it again

You look for a toilet when you arrive anywhere, even if it is only 5 minutes from home.

You consider buying a 4 wheel drive or other high vehicle so that you can slide in and out of the car.

DH goes to sleep in the spare room because with both you and the body pillow on the bed there is just no more room, no matter how big your bed is!!

Some days you dont bother with knickers because they will get lost :redface:

Your thongs are getting tight because of the fluid retention

Your toddler is learning to fetch things for you, and can be trusted to get your phone for you when the big moment arrives.

You have your pregnancy record with you at all times

You have your birth bag in the boot at all times

Your freezer is so full of frozen meals that you dont have room for the weekly/fortnightly shopping.

You spend more time in the empty but decorated nursery than anywhere else, except maybe the toilet

I know I will have more ;)

These are so funny ! :lol::lol::lol: Something to look forward to !

Here's another one:

When you waddle into a hospital for any reason everyone either suddenly makes room for you, offer you a wheel chair, or open the doors for you so that you don't tire yourself out. And they all make the same comment: "Looks like your in labour, you poor thing."

Had that happen last night lol, and I was there because of a nasty flu virus thats going around lol

You want to go out and realise your toes need some attention so your DH has to clip them and paint them for you which is so funny.

Oh! That's a good one.... my toe nails.... they are soooo long I seriously need to cut them but just can't do it!!! DH won't go near em'!! :lol:
Although i can't complain as DH has been making me a bath every night :D

So i guess..... you know you're heavily pregnant when -

* you have to pay someone to cut your toe nails!! Looks like its a pedicure for me next week!

...when you don't even bother with reverse parking because its too hard to turn around to look where you're going...today I just did a dodgy nose park and put my hazard lights on. If anyone asked, I was going to point to the giant bump and say..."definite road hazard".

You have cankles!

When working out whether the noise you hear on the tin roof is rain or not... you load up the met bureau's rain radar because you're sitting at the computer, and the windows to the outside world are just too far away...

BW

When you have to use the handles in your car to grab hold of to slide your A$$ across the seat and manouevre yourself in,

When you give up wearing shoes n sox and live in thongs and have a different pair for each day cos you cant bend over to get your shoes.

Your 14EE bra doubles as a insinkerator and actually could be patented as a perfectly good food recycling/storing service,when you remove it at night you see the contents of the days meals

When you uare half asleep and try n roll over in bed or get up for a pee only to realise that your pregnant and the only way up is sideways slowly,this also counts for manouvering out of any chair/couch.

When you actually consider buying incontinence pants for adults cos your sick of peeing every 5 mins or when you arrive somewhere the homing beacon for a toilet is on red alert

Oh ladies these are too funny and too true!

You know you are heavily pregnant when:

You ask DH to wax your legs for you (which you know will be more painful than the shop lady) because the thought of driving down to the mall and getting them done requires a nap in itself.

You never knew you owned THAT many pillows! and your bed and couch look like a harem due to them all being there.

you could get dressed........ but whats the point?

you keep walking your bump into a chair or bench and hitting it thinking you surely had more room than that... at least a metre!

the amount of people that say things like "oh you look ready to hatch, pop, go, or *insert any other term of expulsion of the baby out of the womb here*"

when the shop lady asks how far you have to go and they have a shocked look on their face and say "and you are still able to go out?" like it looks physically impossible to stand up straight with all that weight out the front.

If you try to look down and see if your bikini line has ingrown hairs (from the wax 30 weeks ago!) and you feel nauseas cos you are nearly upside down and choking on your belly.

your cat sleeps on your bump and is so used to it that she doesnt bat an eyelid when she gets a kick in the face from said bump.


Oh theres so many!

keep em coming ladies

.... when a leisurely 20 minute walk lasts over an hour because you can only walk at snail pace!

you need to do a 20 point turn to roll over in bed...

... oh and your DH tells you your vagina looks like a big purple hamburger. That was memorable let me tell you and out came the hand mirror lol!

Ironing in your bra and undies and burning your belly!! Ouch!

oooh meegs! sounds painful!

Ouch Meegs!!

When you're in a cafe and while the waitress is taking orders bubs decides to shove her head up into your ribs so you rub said part of belly, with an "ouch" expression on your face, and the waitress says "You're not going into labour, are you?!" while looking distinctly panicked...

:rolleyes:

omg, im sure this has been said before. But yesterday I shut the door and it collected my belly on the way. I guess I have popped more than i thought!

Ocean Princess - i get that too, or if i have to sit down in a shopping centre cos im tired and sore and rub my belly people look at me funny as they walk past like they are scared my water is going to break right there in the mall!!

When you go and get a massage and the beautician with an absolute expression of shock and fascination states "wow I could actually see all the fluid shifting in your legs - I've never seen that before........."

rofl Dee!

:rofl: ankles? what ankles? I have CANKLES baby!!!

*sob*

:

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When you're in a cafe and while the waitress is taking orders bubs decides to shove her head up into your ribs so you rub said part of belly, with an "ouch" expression on your face, and the waitress says "You're not going into labour, are you?!" while looking distinctly panicked...

:rolleyes:

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I had that happen to me the other night while we were at an Italian restaurant the waitress said to me that I should be at home incase i go into labour!!! hahahaha.

You know when your pregnant when you own a big 4x4 and struggle to get in and out of it! ( I own a Toyota Landcruiser 80 Series that are massive and I am struggling to get in and out of it! )
You have to get DH to shave your bikini line and anything else while he is at it!

You cant lean forward to reach a cup or anything in front of you with out having to use one hand to push yourself forward and hold you there.

You are now second best to your mum as the belly comes first now!!

Yeah the handbags and the benches I can relate to lol

I love the thread. what a good idea, its really cheered me up

You know you're heavily pregnant when you carry your 2 year old on your hip and she has to put her leg under your bust so that she can hang on as she can't get it around your waist anymore!

LOL i hear you on the Landcruiser - I can't get into ours either hehehehe

when you clean the bath with the mop because you can't bend down to scrub with a sponge :redface:

Hahahaha cleaning the bath with a mop :rofl:

And Nai, your DD with her leg under your boobs... :lol:

Funny funny funny.

dee- thats a fantasic idea...now i just need a mop...

- You know you're hevly pregnant when some one offers to move their car in a shopping center car park so you can get in easier (aww christmas spirit!)
- when the crocs you bought that have fitted you FINE for the past month and a half suddenly get tigher...

i remember the pee test that i had to do all the time for the protein in the urine and my "moment" was not being able to see the cup anymore and having to just guess that i was peeing into it!!

- When your mother insists on you choosing a colour for her to paint your toenails for you (as mine did today!)
- When you contemplate carrying your mobile phone EVERYWHERE with you in the house, incase you slip over and can't get up to be able to call your other half (after all, he is partially responsible for this!)
- You rely more and more on your twenty two month old to be able to bring you things so that you don't have to get up.
- You spend entire days in pj's as none of your 'maternity' or 'fat' clothes fit comfortably any more.
- You get up to go to the bathroom during the night more times than you can keep count in the morning (and then go and raid the fridge as you are starving from eating only about a cupful of food at dinner time since baby is squashing your stomach).
- Your belly button ceases to exist.
- You hope your toes will dry properly in the air and that you don't get tinea after showering since you can't reach them to towel dry adequately.
- If there is someone else in the loo you feel like telling them to hurry up just in case you need to go in the next five minutes.
- Being a tad bit scared of using the knife sharpening tool (scarab is it?) incase you catch the knife on your belly!

Definately agree about the bikini line! I managed to do my legs with one of those epilady things the other day, and had to guess if the backs of my legs were done by the lack of plucking pain...

This thread is an absolute pi$$er. Speaking of which, I'm off to the bathroom.

When you take off your clothes at night and your cereal that you ate for breakfast falls to the floor as it was stuck in between your cleavage all day and you couldnt even feel it or see it until now!


I am now up to a 28 point turn in bed!!

:ROFL: Odette that happened to me last night! LOL!

This is such a funny thread! I love it!

:

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When you take off your clothes at night and your cereal that you ate for breakfast falls to the floor as it was stuck in between your cleavage all day and you couldnt even feel it or see it until now!


I am now up to a 28 point turn in bed!!

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Hahahaha that happens to me all the time with toast crumbs!!! DH keeps offering to get them out for me :rolleyes:

And DH now says I need a council planning permit to roll from one side to the other in bed!

How bout this one - when you have to move the keyboard and mouse really close to the edge of the desk so you can reach because your belly keeps hitting the desk!

I had the food in the bra thing just last night too!!

You know you're heavily pregnant when:
* You wake up with swollen feet/ankles
* Somebody asks you if you're still able to drive
* DP almost completely stops using your name and calls you "big belly" or some other reference to the size of your bump

I've got another one...

When people at work keep asking you when you start maternity leave and looking astonished when you say "end of Jan". :rolleyes:

i have another one too - a guy from church walked past me the other day and said "you must be a few days overdue by now?" and i said "no, still have a few weeks to go" and he looked shocked and said "really? you look ready to drop" i smiled sweetly and said "thanks" and walked off muttering something about 'how the heck would you know buddy!'

when you lose food whilest sitting down and your DH points and tells you its "right there" and you have no idea where "there" is as you havent seen your hooharr in a few months.

wondering why people have 'low rider' cars as you wonder how you'd ever get in/out of one when you struggle with a normal car.

Ohh and when your cat goes :o whilest sitting next to your lap becuause a) they dont fit on your lap any more and b) they're getting stroked by something other then your hand!

And I got another one...

When you go to the loo, walk out of the bathroom and feel like you have to go again, straight away.

OP that happens to me all the time.

Not sure is someone has said this but yesterday i dropped a $2 coin and I just left it there! Could not be stuffed to pick it up.

Oh an another one- You get a trolley when you go to the supermarket even if you know you are getting only 4 or 5 things so you dont have to carry the basket around. (That might be just me being lazy though!)

This has been such a funny thread...love it...:rofl:
Definitely taking me back.

Mine were
- when I found I then had to mop the floor (and change my top) after washing a couple of dishes
- when I had to roll out of bed and hoped for the best...to land on my feet (we have a rather high bed)
- when my boss had to point out I've got a little leftover from lunch (a big orange lasagne stain) on my white work provided maternity top (was on the under side of my belly, no way on earth I would've seen it...thank goodness for the dettol and hand dryer in the ladies bathroom)
- when I would try to squeeze between an office chair and wall - trying to suck the gut in and realising that was not going to help (even worse there was customers and staff watching me):doh:

and I also remember carrying my mobile everywhere in case I fell over and couldn't get up (not sure who I was going to call though, everyone was at least 30mins aways)

NOTE TO ONESELF
Do not eat potato crisps when heavily pg- they end up everywhere- down your top!!!!

OMG last nite i had more chips down my top than i put in my gob!!!