female teachers who don't like boys?!

[Phteven]

I was watching TV and they had an educationalist on talking about schools and problems that pupils can encounter at school and he said that in his experience alot of female teachers don't like boys (his words "an army - maybe thousands"). I was a bit shocked because I've never heard this before and a little bit concerned because I have a little boy who will start school in a few years. So..... I just thought I'd ask the teachers and parents of school aged children out there if they have ever encountered this or if this guy is speaking a load of crap.
If it is true how do you suss out the teachers that don't like boys before its too late - obviously if your child says the teacher doesn't like me there might be some truth in it but is it possible to interview teachers before your child starts in thier class?

[mooshie]

dachlostar

dunno if this is true i guess it can be.

i must say i was shocked last year at orientation when one woman was saying how she hoped her son didn't get so and so teacher because she didn't like boys - i was gobsmacked, these kids are 5yrs if not 4yrs old they are kids that deserve an education regardless of their sex.

i thought it might of been car park gossip but i guess it sadly isn't, god help any teacher like that with my son - i will get the big stick out lol.

you can always get your child moved to another class i guess, i heard someone at school today thinking of moving her child (he is in grade 5) and the mum isn't happy with the teacher so she is going to see about getting him moved.

[butterfly_warrior]

As a teacher, I think it's completely untrue.

There have been numerous occasions where I've been accused of being sexist and favouring the girls over the boys. Completely untrue!

Of the students I have most enjoyed teaching, I think there are just as many girls as boys on the list, and the same also for the students I have least enjoyed.

I have noticed that if a boy is misbehaving with a female teacher, it's all too easy for the boy, when disciplined, to say "she just doesn't like me because I'm a boy", just as it's quite easy to say "she doesn't like me because I'm *insert description here*". It's often easier for a child to decide that they are being picked on and treated unfairly than for them to acknowledge that they are behaving in a really revolting manner. I'm not talking about the ones who are loud, inattentive, etc - I'm talking about the ones who are just plain in-your-face rude!

I've also noticed the phenomenon of parents blaming the school/teacher for everything and not believeing that their child could ever put a foot wrong. The number of times I've had a parent accuse me of lying about a situation is not worth counting!

We also have a particular problem with the "car park mafia" at the school - certain teachers get an undeserved reputation and are targetted by parents - it's not nice to be on the receiving end!

For me, each child is an individual, and I accept each of them as they come - there are some whose behaviour I simply cannot tolerate and do not enjoy teaching them as a result.

I have noticed that there are some boys who are completely unresponsive for female teachers. I'm seeing this with a class I taught last year - I had a lot of trouble and switched to another group this year. That class now has a male teacher, and are doing so much better. I'ts not a matter of me disliking them (I was sad not to be teaching them this year), but a matter of them finding it difficult to relate to a female teacher.

I guess this is starting to ramble - I don't doubt that there are some teachers that could be seen as being like that, but I'm sure that if looked into, you may find an explanation for the apparent dislike that is not nearly so obvious or simple as just "not liking boys"

BW

[Trillian]

BW I understood you completely.

I read an newspaper article a while ago that said in some schools, students were getting marked down simply because they did not agree with their treachers idealogy - whether it was politics, religion or whatever. Some of the affected students were simply agreeing with the teachers so they didn't get a bad mark. So my biggest worry is this happening to any of my kids, not just Lindsay.

At the school Lindsay attends there is only 1 male teacher. My youngest brother (17yrs difference) has him for this year (yr 6) and just loves it because he has never had a male teacher. I think teachers and students clash more due to personality than anything else. Lindsay's teacher is just lovely and there are more boys in his class than girls.

[Bek]

=D> butterfly_warrior, I agree with you completely. It really has so much more to do with personality rather than gender, and even then I'm professional enough to move on and not let it interfere in the day to day running of the classroom.

[Tracey]

B-W, I love the 'carpark mafia' slogan!!!

It's part of the reason I enjoy being a full time working Mum, although I miss my girls immensely... I hate the Mums that simply do not have lives & get to the school at 8:30am & when you drive past at 11am on your wayu to get groceries there's still 8 or 9 of them standing at the gates still talking about the other parents, teachers, kids etc!!!
They are IMHO the ones that start the vicious rumors & start alot of the problems!!!

I agree with B-W too, that it's more personality clashes that gender clashes! ( Iam not a teacher BTW)...

Maddison has not liked her Italian teacher from day 1... I have met her & she seems nice enough, but I think maddy is one of those kids that always puts her hand up for anything & everything & I guess this teacher is sick of her as such!
She is extremely popular with teachers, parents & students from the entire school... But I guess her personality clashes with the Italian teacher... She still gets great marks in Italian, but she said the teacher wont choose her when she puts her hand up & so it makes her feel like the teacher treats her badly... I told her the teacher might just want the other kids to have a turn too & to maybe not always put her hand up, maybe wait & if NO body else puts their up, then try!!!
Luckily Italian is not important as Maths, Reading, Spelling etc & we often speak another language at home so she is learning another language anyways...
But I do believe it is personality over gender...

But by all means if your not happy go discuss changing classes, but just also be aware the child will then have issues of Mummy sticking up/getting involved etc...

[Rouge]

B-W, I love the 'carpark mafia' slogan!!!

It's part of the reason I enjoy being a full time working Mum, although I miss my girls immensely... I hate the Mums that simply do not have lives & get to the school at 8:30am & when you drive past at 11am on your wayu to get groceries there's still 8 or 9 of them standing at the gates still talking about the other parents, teachers, kids etc!!!
They are IMHO the ones that start the vicious rumors & start alot of the problems!!!

HAHAHAHAHA! I have to say that no situation is black and white, not how all teachers treat their kids, nor how all mothers act at schools. I personally think its important to make some relationships with the mothers at school so that when there are playdates organised things are more comfortable for me and Paris. I'm certainly no clucking hen (and yes every school has a group of them LOL) but I don't think there's anything wrong with being polite or social. And to be honest I've found that often the rudeness of some of the mothers who don't socialise can be just as bad as those that cluck! Its individual I think.

And same goes for the teachers, yes its great to stand up for what you do but unfortunately there are some teachers out there that aren't perfect. Just like there are some parents and some kids Its the world we live in, and I think if we spent less time putting people, teachers and kids into boxes it would be easier for everyone! I think every situation needs to be dealt with individually.

Anyway I just don't want this discussion to turn into a flinging match. We all have bad experiences even in the best of situations. And just becuase we don't act a certain way doesn't mean it doesn't happen

*hugs*
Cailin

[Tracey]

Cailin wrote:

Anyway I just don't want this discussion to turn into a flinging match. We all have bad experiences even in the best of situations. And just becuase we don't act a certain way doesn't mean it doesn't happen

I agree... Maddy has heaps of friends as she has gone from the kinder to the primary school with atleast 20 of the kids & we have kids back at our house regularly, or she is at their places. I grew up in the area too, many of the Mum's are also ladies & or wives of guys I went to school with so we all got together from mothers group days etc & they all still go to school together.

I guess I am luckier that my parents do the picking up & dropping off, we as a family attend all the school sports nights/days, we go to all the school concerts, I know alot of the Mum's too... But I see the ones that have upset many a parent & these seem to be the ones that hang around... Also they simply dont allow any other parents input in numerous things, thankfully their youngest kids finish primary school this year & there will be some fresh ideas allowed...


As long as the parents all have the same agenda... Helping their children enjoy, learn & feel comfortable, confident & safe at school, then it's fine we seem to have some that are just too b*tchy..

[Joy]

thought i'd add my two cents,
I completely agree with butterfly warrior. As a teacher myself the most important thing a parent can do is make the effort to keep regular contact with the teacher and develop a relationship with their childs teacher. All problems etc... dissolve when there is open communication, face to face or on the phone. The rest of the issues are simply resolved with open communication, and I can't say in my years of teaching and working with schools (14+) I haven't ever come across a teacher with the whole "I hate boys or girls" attitude, why else would these people stay in teaching?????????????????? not like the pay is great, the working hours fantastic (noone finishes work at 3:30pm despite popular belief!) or the respect is high in the community! Some parents find it easier to trash talk the teacher than to honestly look at the behaviour of their child then the other side is that some parents are fantastic and very realistic about their child's nature and behaviour, comes down to relationships and the need to develop open and honest communication to avoid all misunderstandings.

[#karen#]

we have no male teachers at our school, but are lucky to have very good teachers, there is 1 teacher however that does not like boys. I heard the rumours and thought I will give her the benefit of the doubt. By mid year my son was depressed, he is a well behaved student and very quiet. he could name all the boys in the class and state the problems they had eg too slow, too messy etc. These labels were never put on the girls. Fortunately there were changes to class structure and my son changed class. So yes it does happen. This teacher was very abrupt and hard to talk to. I agree with getting involved with school and thankfully most teachers are very approachable with any concerns you have.

[Debbie Lee]

the most important thing a parent can do is make the effort to keep regular contact with the teacher and develop a relationship with their childs teacher.

You've hit the nail on the head there, Joy. I think sometimes teachers get a reputation just from one incident that was either dealt with poorly (by either party or by both) and are never forgiven!
By the same token, it's also important for teachers to create a welcoming environment for parents so that they feel comfortable building a relationship.

In my short experience, I have dealt with some pretty great parents that have not only given me the benefit of the doubt, but have sought my advice and allowed me to either correct any mistakes I have made or explain the situation. On the whole, I have felt that my teaching methods have been well received. I have, however, experienced the flip-side (to a degree) and have witnessed some pretty rotten things happen to my collegues. It can leave you a little disillusioned.

I can't say that I dislike teaching boys more than I like teaching boys but it has been my experience that the majority of "trouble-makers" in the school are, in fact, boys. I believe it's because of the way our curriculum is structured. It doesn't always suit some personalities. I imagine it's very hard for someone who has a stack of energy and more interest in other areas (such as sport or hands-on activities) to sit still and be quiet for most of the day. I know many teachers try to cater to these personalities as much as possible but it's really hard when you have almost 30 different ones to cater to.

I really think perhaps this issue of female teachers not liking boys has stemmed from some "general" comments. We're all guilty of making sweeping statements... right or wrong, I am thinking this is perhaps one of them?
It's very frustrating as a female teacher to not be able to get a male student to produce work that you know they are capable of, yet your male counterparts can do it with very little effort just because they are male. Unfortunately there are some boys out there that are taught (either consciously or unconciously) that females are second-class citizens and should not be respected as much as males. In saying this, that probably only applies to 2 or 3 boys per class. The majority of boys that I have taught have been a joy to teach.

I have heard of schools that have tried to take the bull by the horns (so to speak) because they have had a real issue with several boys in their school. I know of one school that had a grade 6 class made up entirely of boys (most of which had built up quite a reputation). They were given a strong, experienced, male teacher and the curriculum was changed to suit a more hands-on approach. They were taught the same things as the other classes (which remained co-ed) but in a different way that kept them engaged. Apparently it was a success and the level of detentions, suspensions and incidences with other students and staff dropped dramatically.
Obviously this was a case where such dramatic measures had to be taken but it does make me wonder if the way our schools are structured needs a big shake-up??