Our school actually has it in their policy that parties should be all of one gender or the whole class. I presume from talking to a third time mum that you can invite one or two of their best friends only if done so outside school grounds.
We're holding off having a party this year and waiting to see who he ends up closer to.
Wow, I would fight a school policy like that. Fair enough request being subtle about giving out invites (give to teacher or direct to parents etc), but I don't think any school has the right to say who should be invited. I get where they are coming from, but a policy???
I have found as they get older they tend to want sleepovers, so the numbers are quite low for that (2-3 friends), so it is less of an issue and the kids seems to be so much more understanding.
I'm with Astrid, that is OTT. DS has missed out on a party invitation (or more possibly) as he told me last week that when the kids have parties not everyone can go as the children can't invite everyone. I think his teacher has positioned this to the class at some point as DS articulated this well, clearly it's been something the class has talked about.
Lenny, is it possible just to offer to give her dinner too? Then you can control a snack after school then all kids get dinner at 5:30? I would have an issue too. I have the next door kids a couple of evenings and they like to eat a lot too. I have to hide the snacks when they are over!
Black cat, that's an odd policy, I wouldn't be comfortable with that. Dd1's best friend is a boy and he only plays with the girls, he would be very left out if that happened. He just doesn't relate to boys and it would be cruel to enforce that. What would happen if you had been friends before school with a couple of the different gender kids and then had to exclude them.
Parties are always fraught but I think as you get older the kids figure it out. I like that the girls don't get invited to everything and that they also have to say no to some things or make a choice which thing to do. Even dd2 understands she can't go to everything and there are some kids she doesn't warm to either.
Funnily dd2 has singled out kids that she likes who are a little different. One of her friends is an African girl with hearing aids and another has CP and in a wheelchair. She goes out of her way to include them in her friendship group. I'm a bit surprised as she's not necessarily overly empathetic in general.
We had our first gastro bug this week - it has been going around so not unexpected. Although vomiting child as you are about to walk out the door for work isn't the best way to start the day!
Oh no nai I hope it passes quickly for you. Poor dd.
I agree that it's a horrible policy but it's part of the school so what can we do. for that reason ds is not having a party this year. Next year once I can contact parents direct I'll look at battling that one. Talking to mum's of more than 1 child its more accepted to go against that policy once the kids are older and so long as you do it away from the school environment the school doesn't seem to pull anyone up. No one usually does it in kinder though.
Well we are having a rough trot here. Poor DS seems to be the victim of some bullying at the moment and we are devastated to say the least. He doesn't turn 5 until late April and this has made us question our decision to send him this year. He is a very kind and happy little soul, so to a certain degree he doesn't get he meanness but is starting to get a bit worried. On Friday we got a call as he'd hurt his (already hurt) head. He took an innocent tumble on Wednesday last week. Apparently on Fri some older kids were swinging him around at lunch, calling him midget and dropped him on his head. Other children advised that they'd been yelling at the kids to stop, Today some kids took his hat off his head and ran off with it again calling him a midget.
DS is very short, he is about a head shorter than most of his class. He has always been tiny. I never expected this to happen term 1 of school His teacher advised that he definitely needed to start this year, despite being one of the youngest he is very bright and is immersed in his learning. Hopefully his school experience isn't tainted by this rubbish. I am very emotional about it and burst into tears while talking to his teacher today She was very supportive, she has her own little boy.
His teacher and the school are hot on it though, I am confident they will identify the culprits soon and hopefully the behaviour will stop. DS suggested we can stop it by him staying home from school Fortunately I talked him around and his biggest concern is not having a hat tomorrow so he wont be able to go on the playground. I have emailed his teacher hoping they can lend him a spare until I can get to the school uniform shop on Thursday.
I hate that children can be so cruel to each other - I mean really? Should junior primary children even know how to be mean, I think I've been living in a bubble, seems they are just as horrible as adults
Oh honey! I am so devastated to here that. Poor wee man! Mima told me today that the biggest kid in her class punched her today too. I'm not sure whether I should speak to the teacher or not? She seemed over it as she was trying to get him to give her an Easter egg today when he won the Easter raffle. But then she is rather motivated by food. Still I can't imagine how I would feel if it felt systematic like what bai is dealing with. I would be distraught like you I think. I hope they get on top of it soon. And whilst I don't believe in toughening kids up, he is tiny..... Do you think a self defense style class might help his confidence? Or is it too soon to go down that path?
Oh no! Terrible xx
My DS1 is small. We've held him back (he just turned 6 a week ago). He's still one of the smallest. But he has the attitude and the emotional intelligence of a 6 year old, so is better equipped to deal with it all.
Plus the school is huge, so preps are encouraged to only play with preps. I thought this was a daft idea, but it has it's merits. Bullying being one of them.
I hope that things improve. It would be a much tougher introduction to school if he no longer feels secure and content. I can't imagine children so young being bullies. I have noticed some of the girls being a bit manipulative and a bit more interested in who is friends with who.
Lenny, DS would likely still be the smallest next year too
The receptions, yr1/2 have their own play area, 3-7 a totally separate one, so it's other little kids
Does the school do talks about bullying? I know at ours they talk about it a lot, but also talk about when other kids see this sort of thing to go tell a teacher too, not to just leave it to the poor victim. Is it possible that these kids don't realise that what they are doing is quite cruel and thing that its just a game? As mean as it is?
I hope the teachers can sort out something for you both.
They do BC, I attended an assembly a few weeks ago and it was a topic then, I know they focus on it in class too
Hoping that as all the teachers have been made aware they will be vigilant in the yard. DSs classmates are protective of him and helped him during the hat incident yesterday apparently
Oh no MN that's horrible glad your little man was brave enough to go back to school today. Hope the staff sort it our quickly for him.
Dd had her party and had a ball, it gave me a chance to see her around the class as she only just turned 5. They all seem to interact really well and are a nice group.
It's there first full week this week so I am sure she will be very tired and will be looking forward to the holidays.
Big hugs Nai. I really hope they get this under control quickly. As you know we have also made decision to send DD this year even though she only turns 5 tomorrow. You know your reasons for sending him this year and they are still valid, like you said he would still have been one of the smallest if you had sent him next year.
DD had an instance where some Grade 1 boys were chasing her. Harmless fun from their point of view but DD did not like it. They teach kids at our school to say "stop it, I don't like it" in first instance and if that doesn't work to report to teacher. In her instance the boys were talked to about appropriate behaviour and apologised.
Hopefully the duty teachers will be informed so they can keep a close eye on the situation.
I really hope it does not tarnish his enthusiasm for school.
Our school uses a traffic light situation green it's nothing to worry about, amber talk to your friend about it and red talk to the teacher on yard duty. It seems to work well. The preps have their own play area too, it's one of the reasons we chose the school over the closer one to us where all the kids mingle we didn't think dd1 would have coped with that last year.
Ohh how awful MN I hope there is no more and school deals with it well. Gee kids can be cruel I can't believe this is all happening in prep!! Hugs to all of you xoxo
Black_rose Glad party was good. Traffic light system sounds good.
DS1 has been very keen this week for his readers and reading eggs so lets hope continues.!! He has been walking with the teacher a lot of lunch times, he says he likes doing that!!! Seems much happier so hopefully continues, when asked says some kids he plays with but not sure how much he plays when walking with teacher so often. In process or organising private speech for him as school speech can only see him possibly once a fortnight for 30 mins and feels he needs more. It is $ exercise
When I brought up an observation about a 5yo being on the receiving end of bullying behaviour, I was told in no uncertain terms that kids that age can't be bullies because they are too young to understand what they are doing. Load of BS IMHO. They know they are hurting the "victim" (for want of a better word) and they do it because they think it is fun. They may not end up as serial bullies if their behaviour is caught and corrected early on. But bullying behaviour is still bullying behaviour regardless of the intent of the child in question IMO. It is the "victim" that suffers if it is not dealt with appropriately and quickly. Having been on the end of similar behaviour myself, albeit at an older age, I can tell you it is NOT fun. Whether it is physical or emotional bullying, it is NOT OK. Whether they are 5, 15 or 50, it is NOT OK.
MN, I hope the situation is sorted out ASAP. My heart goes out to your DS.
I've just had an email back from his teacher, she and DS are going to do a discreet walk around the classes to see if DS can recognize the children involved.
Also when the PE teacher received the email she sent to the teachers about the hat incident he immediately bought a spare hat down for DS to borrow so he could play on the playground today.
They also have a program where children attend the OHSC building at lunch etc if they have anxiety or don't cope well in the playground. While she doesn't think DS needs it from that perspective she offered for him to invite a friend to visit there for a day or so until the can sort out the issues, but she left it up to DS to visit if he wanted to
I feel she is being very proactive and I am thankful for that
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Re: Foundation (Prep/Kinder) 2014 Chat
for that reason ds is not having a party this year. Next year once I can contact parents direct I'll look at battling that one. Talking to mum's of more than 1 child its more accepted to go against that policy once the kids are older and so long as you do it away from the school environment the school doesn't seem to pull anyone up. No one usually does it in kinder though.
His teacher advised that he definitely needed to start this year, despite being one of the youngest he is very bright and is immersed in his learning. Hopefully his school experience isn't tainted by this rubbish. I am very emotional about it and burst into tears while talking to his teacher today
to both of you. Bullying is something I worry about. Hopefully it is sorted asap.
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