I'm not a private school snob! Vent

[Astrid]

Totally get you! I find it funny when people say we cant afford to send our kids to a private school - yet its their kids they are sending 3-5 days a week to childcare which would cost as much or more than a private school! (well the private schools in western sydney - not the super expensive ones).

And that is not judging?? What parents choose to do with their money is there choice, incomes can change over the years, maybe it was a complete strain on them paying childcare and they made a lot of sacrifices to pay it at the time.

If find for me, it is all how it comes across. I don't give a toss where someone sends their children, but the moment they make someone else feel bad for choosing differently then it matters. One friend of mine would be in tears due to another mother making her feel bad for choosing a public school (there was no way she could afford private school).

I am thinking maybe these other parents have been made to feel bad and have had to already defend their choice of public school, so they now get defensive when someone chooses private school. Not right of them to make someone else feel bad, but past experience is making them hit out before they are hurt.

[Amaunet]

If find for me, it is all how it comes across. I don't give a toss where someone sends there children, but the moment they make someone else feel bad for choosing differently then it matters. One friend of mine would be in tears due to another mother making her feel bad for choosing a public school (there was no way she could afford private school).

I am thinking maybe these other parents have been made to feel bad and have had to already defend their choice of public school, so they now get defensive when someone chooses private school. Not right of them to make someone else feel bad, but past experience is making them hit out before they are hurt.

I think this too.

One of the things I like least about Facebook, the fact that the people reading your status don't know the thought process behind the post. I guess the wording "at ease" could imply that a different decision/school would make you "uneasy" , a decision some of your FB friends have obviously made iykwim. Of course this isn't what you intended. I'm always careful (or try to be) of my word choice in online communications because there is no "tone" online. By saying instead, "I'm so excited about DD starting school at X school, what a big girl" there is no or less opportunity for misunderstanding.

We all make the best decisions we can for our children but it can be hard when others judge us for them

[Trillian]

We've gotten some odd comments too about where we've chosen to send our eldest to high school. Where we live, it's just assumed that you go through the public school, then you go on to the high school. End of. But a few years ago we decided that we would send DS1 to boarding school in a town about an hour away. People have seemed surprised at this, but it's just us wanting him to do the best he can and go to a school that is going to meet his needs, and this school ticks all the boxes and then some. The local high school doesn't. Our DS's interests are in agriculture and he wants a future in that industry, so he's going to an agricultural high school. But people don't realise that it is still a public school, they just assumed that because it's a boarding school, it was private. Once you tell them that they don't seem so odd about it, but I know they think about the cost of it. which is none of their goddamned business as far as I'm concerned. I think people forget that what you do is not about them and their choices, and you doing xyz is not an affront to them doing abc kwim?

[Freya]

I think this too.

One of the things I like least about Facebook, the fact that the people reading your status don't know the thought process behind the post. I guess the wording "at ease" could imply that a different decision/school would make you "uneasy" , a decision some of your FB friends have obviously made iykwim. Of course this isn't what you intended. I'm always careful (or try to be) of my word choice in online communications because there is no "tone" online. By saying instead, "I'm so excited about DD starting school at X school, what a big girl" there is no or less opportunity for misunderstanding.

We all make the best decisions we can for our children but it can be hard when others judge us for them

I disagree. It's the people who took implication from whatever words she used that have to own that. Maybe for her sending her child to the local public school options was an uneasy decision to make, and now that she has made a choice she does feel at ease. In the end it has nothing to do with public vs private but what's best for her child. I often find those who go on the defensive pretty quickly have the biggest hang ups about whatever they are being defensive about. It's hard not to take that personally but I've learnt lately that people should not have to be ashamed or uncomfortable about their lives being positive, whether that be materially, financially or otherwise; just because others are not in that position. It's unfair.