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thread: Keeping a child back

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Perth
    486

    Keeping a child back

    Has anyone tried to do this? I am thinking of keeping DD back a year and to start Kindy next year. She only makes the cut-off by 1 month. Intellectually she is ready, but emotionally and socially, she acts much younger. How would I get them to agree to do that? Should I try get a psychologist report? What type of psychologist would I see? Would it even work?

    I have asked the local intake school and they said they won't do it. The dept. of Edu said it is up to the school.

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Add ~clover~ on Facebook

    Sep 2007
    travelling
    9,557

    Its totally up to you hun. Out of all my friends, most are sending their children at 5 turning 6 instead of 4 turning 5 like I have.
    Alot of private schools now even cut them off at the end of March, so they prefer them to be 5 before March. Well most of the ones I've spoken to anyway.
    HTH

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    5,951

    I would think you would need an assessment done for the school to approve. I know in Qld it's not easy to do. I'm not sure what the WA rules are though. Maybe ring around to a couple of different schools and get their advice on it.
    Sorry, probably not much help.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    Around where I live it became a trend for a while for children who were going to be sent to the Catholic school to be held back a year so they were turning 7 in kindergarten which was far too old IMO but that trend seems to have passed now. It is up to you really. If you think that she is not ready, then there isn't a lot of point sending her because she may need to repeat a year kwim?

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Perth
    486

    Around where I live it became a trend for a while for children who were going to be sent to the Catholic school to be held back a year so they were turning 7 in kindergarten which was far too old IMO
    She is 3 yrs 8 mnths now and I think she is too young for Kindy but WA's cut-off says she must go. If she does, she will be 16 in year 10! If I keep her back a year, she will be 4yrs 8 months starting Kindy, with PrePrimary the next year and she will be 6 starting Year 1 instead of 5.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Apr 2008
    4,427

    Is WA Kindy the same as pre-school in NSW?

  7. #7

    Oct 2005
    A Nestle Free Zone... What about YOU?
    5,374

    I had no problem at all starting my kids later in Qld...

    My DS began year 1 the year he turned 7, prep the year he turned 6 and preschool the year he turned 5..

    The same with my younger girls... I personally think 3 is too early to begin kindy so I have kept my kids out... As I said earlier I was so passionate about this I accessed independent education for this amongst other reasons... HTH

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Aug 2005
    Melbourne, Victoria
    1,635

    when i asked the principle of DS school about how the decide whether a child is ready to go from pre-prep to prep he said this "i have ahd plenty of parents face that choice.. none of the ones that held their children back have regretted their decision, but plenty of the ones that insisted their children were ready have regretted their choice".

    I'm lucky that our prep-prep has this fantastic teacher who comes is 3 afternoons a week specifically to look at prep readiness with the boys and developing and making sure their skills are up to scratch, and if not, i have no qualms holding DS back another year.

    At the moment he will turn 5 just before prep starts, and finish year 12 just before he turns 18 (same as me, we are 10 days apart in bdays). But if he turns 18 just before he starts year 12 i don't think it will majorly inpact his life, but not doing well the whole way through school will.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    Being a January bub, I turned 15 at the start of year 10 so I was one of the youngest in my class. I really think that you should make every effort to hold her back if you feel that strongly about it, but on the other hand there have been plenty of kids who at the start of a year seem quite young emotionally, but by the end of the year they are fine and have 'caught up' to their peers, and going to Kindy helps with all that kind of thing as well. So maybe that is one avenue to explore too, send her and if at the time when you have to decide to send her to school you can make a decision then if she is ready or not. It may even be easier to do it that way, because then you have the backing of her kindy teacher and her input on whether she thinks your DD is emotionally ready for school.

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2008
    Eastern Surburbs, Melbourne
    1,841

    If I could turn the clock back I would have kept DD2 back a year. Her birthday is 28th Feb so was usually the youngest in the class. She never really struggled with her school work but socially was not ready.
    When she finished VCE she was not ready to go to Uni. Five years later she started Uni, now in her third year and knows where she is going.
    In Victoria is it not a problem to start kinder or prep later.

  11. #11
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    I just think it's crap that it isn't up to YOU.

    xoxoxoxox

  12. #12
    Registered User
    Follow Pandora On Twitter

    Jan 2005
    cowtown
    8,276

    YEs I agree it sux that its not up to you =- it is up to the parents in Victoria.
    In fact some of the schools I looked at imposed their own cut off and you had to be 5 by the end of Feb to start.
    Others offer a prep-reception year for kids whose parents hold them back, which is like a combination of 4yo kinder and prep

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Perth
    486

    Well, I have sent the principal a e-mailed letter detailing my reasons and asking him to allow my daughter to start a year later. I hope he can find it in his heart to give her a chance. I'm afraid that I don't have too much confidence in the male species when it comes to children and compassion IYKWIM? I will have to wait and see, in the meantime, I am praying.
    Last edited by Miss H; February 24th, 2010 at 10:01 PM. : spelling

  14. #14
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2005
    Blue Mountains
    5,086

    I'm a bit confused... here we start with preschool, usually 3yo & 4yo, but this is optional. Compulsory schooling doesn't start until Kindergarten at 5yo. As someone earlier said, a lot of the kids are 5 already and turning 6 that year. My DS will be turning 5 in the March when he starts Kindy tho. I've wondered if he'll be too young, but already the preschool teachers are saying he'll be ready. Preschool is good for assessing their independence and social readiness for school.

    How come they are saying she 'must go' at this young age tho? Surely it's not compulsory?

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Perth
    486

    No, it is not compulsory at all. It is only compulsory from Year 1. In WA they have Kindy, then Pre-Primary and then Year 1,2 etc. So they start Kindy in the year that they turn 4 and the cut-off is 30 June. So they can be 3 turning 4 by end June. If they choose not to go then they will start at Year 1. For me, I think she will have missed out on alot of learning and social development if she skips Kindy and PP. Even if she skips these and starts Year 1 in 3 years, she will be 16 turning 17 in her final year of school. I think this is too young to be making plans about uni or working or even to know what you want to do with your life.

    Kindy is 2 days, some schools do 3 days a week. PP is 5 full days.

  16. #16
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2005
    Blue Mountains
    5,086

    Aah ok... doing some math...

    DS is in preschool this year.. turning 4 in March. Will be turning 5 in kindy. And turning 6 in year 1. So in Yr 12 he'll be turning 17. That's what I was (but I was in January). I turned 18 after finishing school.

    I guess it's hard to predict their level of maturity at that age this far in advance. Personally at that age I don't think the age difference is that big a deal. 6 months can be a big difference in development for a 5yo, but at 17, give or take 6 months doesn't make that much difference IMO. Thinking back to my Yr12, I don't think you could pick those turning 17 from those turning 18. We were all pretty much on the same page in the same school year.

    I would think the important thing would be to start them when they are ready, not worrying so much about the later years, cos if they're ready when they start, then they're likely to keep up with each year as it comes. JMO of course

  17. #17
    Registered User
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    Sep 2007
    travelling
    9,557

    Hmm. My neice is over that way. Her & my DD are 7 months apart in age. My neice turned 5 in November last year & my DD2 doesn't turn 5 til June.
    My neice did I think it was pre prep last year? I'm thinking prep is the year before year one, equal to our kindy? They are both at that level this year, but my DD had nothing compulsery last year. ITMS.
    I sent both my girls ealy because I believed they were ready. DD1 turned 5 in April & DD2 turns 5 in June. But both have needed that stimulation full time. Both are thriving in school. DD1 has finally stopped winging to me that the work is too easy & is enjoying it.
    I also decided DD2 needed it for help with her speech problems. If she needs to repeat kindy thats ok, but to see the change & the effort she's putting into her speech just 2 or 3 weeks in is unbelievable.
    I made my decision, which so far I believe was the best decision for my kids, as you should do. My friends with boys my DS's age all will turn 5 after March, so they're already thinking they'll be sending them the next year when they are 5 turning 6, even though its before the end of June.

  18. #18
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Apr 2009
    3,750

    I thought you didn't have to until they are 6. So that would mean she would have to be in school the year she turned 6. I am keeping my DD back and she will be in Kindergarten when she is 5 (turns 6 in April) so she will be 6 almost 7 in Year1. Socially she isn't ready.

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