Ness - I am usually on the same page with you hun about not judging so I get where you are coming from. I certainly haven't meant any offence and agree that things can change and you may find yourself in less of a position to help both financially and from a volunteer basis.
However I have been completely baffled by the coversations surrounding this topic as I do know all the people fairly well. Certainly there are lots of outings/holidays/weekly hairdos/cleaners/expensive clothes/bags and frequent use of babysitters that are paid by for the same people and most of them ARE on a very good wicket - I was interested in others experiences. I have understood when people chose not to support certain fundraisers etc as they chocolate for eg but it seems to be a more common undertone that people expect a very high level of services and then not to be responsible for any of it.