A question about student violence

[loulabelle]

Just try really hard not to go straight to "My child is bullied"

Sometimes these things happen. And it's not because your child was a target or because the school doesn't take things seriously. Parents aren't generally told what consequences take place due to the fact that parents can go OTT. And they do this to stop that from happening. And to protect all children.

Talking to the school about being notified is important. But try to keep a lid on your reactions with your own child. It's very easy to go "WHAT HAPPENED!?" And then create fear and anxiety in your own child as a result.

It's awful when they get hurt at school and we aren't there to help them through it.

This.

It's really hard and I completely understand your worry. Ds1 has started this year too and there has been one or two things that have happened that have made me worried. He got scratches down his neck from a kid in his class for example.
I've tried not to make a big deal of it as I don't want to create anxiety for him. All I did was explain what he should do if the situation every happened again. I didn't say anything negative about the other child.
By all means you can say something to the teacher, but I would just say something along the lines of 'he's a little bit sensitive today, he got hit yesterday and was a little upset so keep an eye on him' that way your telling her that you're aware of what happened but not going in guns blazing. If it happens again then speak to her about what's being done about it.
What I try and remember is that these are only small children who are only just getting used to school. They are often overwhelmed and overtired and not quite sure how to handle situations. Some kids need a little extra help with impulse control.
Anyway, that's what I'd do, but you know your child and you need to do what feels right. I know it's upsetting

[Artechim]

I talked to the teacher this morning and apparently they were roughhousing while playing basketball, DS snatched the ball and the other kid punched him. They both got a talking-to about playing nicely.

The other kid involved is the child that I caught locking DS in the toilets last year when we went on a school visit.

Hopefully nothing else happens.

[nickle730]

5 and six year old boys don't tend to have great impulse control. Rough housing can easily escalate into inappropriate behaviour. Punching another child in the stomach is not OK, nor is snatching a ball if it is not part of the game. It's good that the school spoke to both of the boys about appropriate play and hopefully they will monitor the way all of the children are playing together and assist the kids to play in a way that is respectful and enjoyable for all of the participants.

I have a huge issue with a 'naughty board'. What is the purpose? To publicly shame kids into behaving? To teach them to be sneaky about misbehaviour so they don't get caught and have their name put on the board? Honestly, the idea appalls me and I don't see how writing a kids name on the board for all to see and labeling them as 'naughty' is constructive.

I hope your DS is ok, it's awful when you hear of your child being hurt and you weren't there to comfort them.

[Seven Oaks]

How are things going now Artechim? My DS is in kindy this year too. I'm currently keeping a close eye on things with our DS, as he has reported a few things to us, though never an outright punch to the tummy, poor kid. My DH and I have both worked in schools and each school has there own way of dealing with such situations. However, as a parent you have as much right to take it as far as you feel you need to, like to the District Office of the DET if at a public school. Any formal complaints to them HAS to be fully investigated, which would involve the complaint being put forward to the school, and then a meeting being arranged between youself, the school and the District Office.

We have taught our DS to tell a teacher immediatley if someone hurts him intentionally. The other day DS said a classmate had sctrached him with a pinecone, which I thought odd (he can tell porkys sometimes), until he turned and showed me the big red scratch on his neck. I asked DS what he did, and he said he told the teacher and the classmate missed out on free play time. He has not mentioned it since, so I'm happy to let that one be. I hope things are getting on better for you guys.

[Artechim]

Coincidently, just today DS came home and said that the same kid punched someone else in the guts. Hopefully they do something about it now that he has done it more than once.

[Seven Oaks]

oh no thats no good to hear

[YoYo]

My little Man started school this year too and always seems to be the child bullied/picked on by others. I try not to worry but it's hard, but I just kept an eye on the situation and nothing seems to be happening now thank goodness. I had mentioned it to the teachers, and the child who did things to him also does things to others, so they know who to keep an eye on IYKWIM....DS doesn't retaliate, just walks away from things, but I was worried that one day he would and would pound a kid that did something to him (he's no lightweight )

I gained a lot of faith from the teachers and they way they handled things, but I know that sometimes they don't see EVERYTHING that goes on. I'm also pretty sure that DS talks it up to me a little bit too