Send or hold back? Please help

[Beatrix]

Ok So everyone knows SA school rules are slightly different for another year til we catch up with the rest of the states... basically the child can start school as soon as the turn five, so have term 1,2,3 and 4 entries. they have to complete a minimum of 3 terms or do a max 6 terms.. basically if you start in term 3 you stay in the same grade the following year also.

So DD3 turns 5 in March
so i have the choice of starting her in march where she will be in reception/prep for only 3 terms then head up to year one or holding her back a term and starting halfway through the year but meaning she wont go up to year 1 the following year and will still do a full year of prep/reception, as minimum is 3 terms maximum is 6 terms of prep.

DD is very clingy, emotional youngest child who still sometimes gets upset at day care drops offs but is slowly gaining confidence. the big factor for me to hold her back is I am due for a baby exactly when she would be starting full time school in term 2 if I send her so I worry that with new baby arriving and her emotional issues as well she may see it mummy sending her off cause the baby is here... I have doubts that she would cope emotionally and school drop off would become a nightmare.

at a loss as to what to do? Am planning on talking to her teacher at care to see what she recommends

Im really leaning towards holding her back a term....

[diva det]

i think you answered your own question!!
if you have doubts go on your gut and instinct!
its a hard decision

[Tinks]

I think you know what's best for her.

[RhiChiChi]

^^ yeah, I agree with det! I think you should probably hold her back. Do you have to make a decision now for enrolment next year? ie: if you decide to send her in say term 3 or 4 can you wait until next year to make that decision or does it need to be now? She might actually mature emotionally with a baby in the mix b/c she won't have as much attention, so will need to do things for herself a bit more. GL, such a difficult decision.

[minniemouse]

we held my DD back from starting school, she was turning 5 in the feb but just wasn't ready to go, we think she would have struggled had she started then (by mid year she would have been fine to go but it doesn't work that way here), so she started this year a few weeks off 6, it was absolutely the right decision for her, she is doing so well and loves school, if she had of gone last year i think she would have found it hard and maybe not tried because she hates to get things wrong, this way she finds things easy and that really gives her confidence.

there was a little boy in her class who started when he was still 4, it was very obvious he wasn't ready and he didn't cope at all, he lasted 2 terms before he was pulled out.

sounds like you will have a lot going next year, especially with a new baby, i don't think there is any harm at all in keeping them home an extra year (or term) if they aren't ready to go

[Astrolady]

I'd hold her back for a term. Best thing we ever did with Kameron. I actually thought the once per year intakes start next year. Unless it is just our school that is starting it next year.

[AliBaby]

As a teacher I would say hold her back. Emotional and social needs are very important and from what you have said it is going to be a busy, life changing around March.

[Beatrix]

Nah its 2014 they start. My SIL is a teacher. the kindy/preschool intake starts next year...

She said that I would actually have to speak to the school first before I make my decision and see what they say because they may not agree or with the changes they may have other intake ideas

thanks for your replies

[AnyDream]

I would definitely hold her back and send her for 6 terms of reception. It's a real asset. My DD's birthday is in June so she did half a year in reception in SA before we moved interstate and she did another year reception there with a whole bunch of kids whose first year it was at school and she was pretty much streets ahead socially and just with the general being-happy-at-school vibe.

I wouldn't stress too much about the baby being due around the same time. Change is change is change, spacing it out isn't necessarily going to help her deal any better. FWIW I think kids think differently about going to school instead of going to care, at kindy they talk all about it and the kids see it as a good thing that they get to be a "big kid" and do all the fun school things with the other big kids.

[Mak]

The best advice I have heard was if you are even considering it then you should hold back.
Definitely speak to the kinder teacher and school tho as it may be a small intake and be an easier transition than later with a bigger group ITMS?

[feeb]

You know her best hun, I think you have answered your own question.

From what you have told me I think she will find a baby a hard enough adjustment without being at school as well starting when baby is born. She will have been your baby for 5 years.

[Caz1971]

we held my DD back from starting school, she was turning 5 in the feb but just wasn't ready to go, we think she would have struggled had she started then (by mid year she would have been fine to go but it doesn't work that way here), so she started this year a few weeks off 6, it was absolutely the right decision for her, she is doing so well and loves school, if she had of gone last year i think she would have found it hard and maybe not tried because she hates to get things wrong, this way she finds things easy and that really gives her confidence.

there was a little boy in her class who started when he was still 4, it was very obvious he wasn't ready and he didn't cope at all, he lasted 2 terms before he was pulled out.

sounds like you will have a lot going next year, especially with a new baby, i don't think there is any harm at all in keeping them home an extra year (or term) if they aren't ready to go

Minniemouse - my DS will be five in March next year. I was so confused if he was ready or not, I decided not so he is not going to prep for another year. Id rather he stay in kindy then repeat say prep or gr. 1 (if this still happens in life?). He was enrolled in school and attended the interview the other week. Teacher sounded like it would be so full on and I could see DS not coping. Plus most other mums said they kept their sons back too. So Im in peace of mind finally. Kids will definitely benefit waiting an extra year!

[~Kim~]

I kept DD1 back for those reasons. Really glad I did.
As it was I had DD2 2 weeks after she started school, but she was that bit better able to cope.