Teachers physically touching students

[Trillian]

If he is messing up at school then its EVERYBODY'S problem and as a parent you should be working with him and the school on trying to sort all this out instead of leaving it all up to the school and they probably think it's pretty important that you help support him and work through this as well and that is why they are calling you. I agree that if someone doesn't like their personal space invaded then something needs to be sorted out about that, but having spoken with teachers about different areas of behaviour management of children (for uni) their biggest gripe is the total lack of assistance from parents because it makes their job so much harder. If it were me I would do everything I could to try to help him out.

[jesses_girl]

IMO I dont think it is solely the teachers responsibility to dicipline your child, when i was in school, if i knew i wouldnt get in trouble from mum for x,y,z i would do it, just cause i could get away with it. I think you need to ask him why is he acting out? As for the touching, totally out of line, especially if he likes his personal space. She rings you because you are his mother and the only person who can make decisions about his welfare and schooling. Getting your back up wont do your son any good at all.

[diannescruffy]

Whenever I have received a phone call myself or DH have sat down with DS and talked about it. I appreciate the school ringing me to let me know if he is misbehaving but I don't see the school doing anything about this. He has never once been disciplined by the school so how can I work with the school?

Regards,
Dianne

[Lulu]

Hun, he is still your son and it's his behaviour that is the problem here. Do you recognise that something must have been going on for a little while before that teacher went off in his face?
Could you ask your son what he could have done to change the outcome of that situation?
Alot of kids have some sort of problem with authority or discipline, but he has to know about respecting the teachers that are trying to teach him.

[diannescruffy]

Ok, so what should I do, any suggestions appreciated.

Regards,
Dianne

[Lulu]

Teach him about respect?

[diannescruffy]

Do you honestly think I've never taught him about respect, I also taught him that respect needs to be both ways. We are talking about a 15yr old boy. He shows respect in my house because he knows that if he doesn't show it he gets disciplined but how do I enforce this when he is at school. My problem is that the school do not discipline him when he misbehaves. So should I be disciplining him at home for something he does at school?

Regards,
Dianne

[MrsFabuloso]

I don't think teachers should be invading his space, or touching him if he has told them not to, but agree that you need to work in conjunction with the school and individual teachers where you can. Maybe a meeting with both of these teachers together with your son and you would be beneficial. Then together you can make a plan to move ahead with whatever the issues are.

[Trillian]

Ok, so what should I do, any suggestions appreciated.

OK, We recently had a problem with our eldest child. He is only in year 4, but what we did can apply here too I think. His problem was a total lack of tolerance towards the kids who aren't as smart as he is so he was acting out in class calling out answers etc. So for 2 weeks after initially speaking with his teacher I was in constant contact with her and we took things day by day to make sure he was improving. What we did at home was to find out exactly what the problem was (frustration at kids not knowing answers etc and not being called on to answer it himself) then I told his teacher what he told me and we all worked together to get him to change. and within that time, just by me asking him at home how he was going and the teacher helping in the classroom we were able to get him to turn his behaviour around. At your sons age, they are quite egocentric, meaning that they think the world revolves around them, so they are unable to see that there is a problem with their behaviour and when you ask, it's probably that all the teachers are on his back and picking on him, yeah? but in reality, he needs someone at home to make him accountable for his behaviour, because rarely do teachers just pick a child to have a set against, there is always a catalyst and 9 times out of 10, it is all in the students head kwim?

[diannescruffy]

Thanks Trillian, I'm going to have another talk to DS and let him know that if his behaviour continues at school there will be consequences at home. I will also let him know that I will be ringing his teacher and asking her to keep me informed. I have always gone to interviews, they have only been with his home group teacher, usually unless there is a problem you don't see any of the other teachers.

Regards,
Dianne