Something is missing...stuck in a rut?

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July 21st, 2010, 09:40 PM
BrightSparkles

Something is missing...stuck in a rut?

I feel like i have this big void in my life ATM.
I have a great DH, 2 beautiful kids and a relative "normal" family (but really - how do you define "normal"?)
I used to do HEAPS of volunteer wk (and eventually wked for them for a while) for a youth agency (nearly every weekend and 3 days at least during the week). But after a HUGE falling out with my then manger who was (yes WAS) a good friend I now no longer have anything to do with the organisation or anyone who is attached to it.
TBH, I still haven't been able to fully let go of the emotions attached because it has played such a huge part of my life for about 10yrs. I just feel like theres now a huge hole where something should be.
I find it hard now to get out to do volunteer wk like that with 2 LO's but i need to do something. This was my way of meeting new people, expanding my networks and keeping my mind active. Now I feel like i'm stuck in a rut of being a mummy, wife, daughter, sister.

I often find myself wishing that I could go back but i know for my own mental health I can't.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can fill this hole?
July 22nd, 2010, 11:29 AM
Tan

Hi Sunshine,

:comfort: Im sorry you are feeling this way, you have probably already thought of this, but will put it out there anyway - can you do voluntary work for another organisation? Why does it have to be this particular one?!
July 23rd, 2010, 08:48 AM
littlelara

I wondered that too.
Also, when the bubs are so young I think it's natural to feel restricted and frustrated, but they won't be this little for long.
Maybe you could figure out just how much time you can comfortably commit to volunteering and then look at offering your services to another organisation.
I'm sure there are heaps of services around that could use whatever time you have to offer, especially with your past experience.
Good luck
July 23rd, 2010, 10:03 AM
sloane

i think it's so hard when you've worked for so many years to give up that part of yourself. well, not necessarily the working part but just that it takes up so much of your life & gives you a persona outside the home. i agree with the PPs - is there anything you could do but on a smaller, less time consuming scale until the girls are a little older? like a toy library or even on a playgroup committee? i know they're still linked to you being a mum, but they might be less time consuming & allow you access to some new people.

i think there may be another issue as well with the emotions attached to the last place you were at, but maybe finding somewhere new will allow you to put them in the past & move on :hug:
July 23rd, 2010, 01:48 PM
*star*

Have you tried looking up govolunteer?

Some things I thought of when I was at home pre-going-back-to-work were things that would involve the kids. Perhaps a role visiting elderly - they just adore seeing the kids and it might open up a different set of relationships than kid-related stuff.
July 23rd, 2010, 01:55 PM
BrightSparkles

Thanks for replying. I think allot of this post initally was just to get it out of me. It's not something that DH "gets" so I find it hard to talk to him about it. I have been ina bad place lately with this kinda stuff and everything has been so overwhelming, emotionally and allot or irrational thoughts/feelings. Sometimes I just need someone else to tell me things rationally for me to think about it again.

:

:comfort: Im sorry you are feeling this way, you have probably already thought of this, but will put it out there anyway - can you do voluntary work for another organisation? Why does it have to be this particular one?!

:

i think there may be another issue as well with the emotions attached to the last place you were at, but maybe finding somewhere new will allow you to put them in the past & move on :hug:

Doesn't have to be this one, in fact Sloane you hit it on the head about the other emotions being attached. In fact i don't want it to be this one - I want to move on from all the things that are attached to this place. I think that finding something/somwhere else will help me with this and give me something else to focus on.

:

Have you tried looking up govolunteer?

Some things I thought of when I was at home pre-going-back-to-work were things that would involve the kids. Perhaps a role visiting elderly - they just adore seeing the kids and it might open up a different set of relationships than kid-related stuff.

Star - i'll have a look at it... never heard of it before.