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As a mum of 2 beautiful angels myself (Storm & Finn), it breaks my heart everytime I see a post about a new angel :( I feel a weight of grief in my chest, knowing what you must all be going through after being through it myself :(
To those mums new to this journey of grief, I am so very very sorry for the loss of your precious angels and send you all my strength & love
Jo
Angels - :angel:Storm Piper ~11.7.07 :angel: Finn Patrick ~26.3.08
It has been a very sad time. The sadness that I feel when I read that a much wanted baby has become an angel feels so heavy. I can not begin to imagine how someone recovers. With this sadness this morning and news from my close friend that her work mate and friend who had been trying for a baby for 6 years died during her C-section, I have had tears all day.
i'm surprised at how common it is, which is so heartbreaking. it's not something people talk about often, but after i lost Josiah, i've had a lot of people tell me their stories as well, it's just so sad to comprehend.
:grouphug:to everyone xxx
i found the same thing hun....:
it breaks my heart to think more mums have to suffer a loss like i did :hug:
no one should suffer the loss of a child, EVER
6 babies are born sleeping everday in australia. everyday 6 sets of parents join our shi**ty club.
Ahurani's news has torn me to pieces. Why does the universe wait until the very end to take our babies from us? the finish line in site but we never get our prize. its so unfair.
Thinking of u everyday MD xxx
it is such a ****ty club isn't it and i know exactly how you feel, feeling the weight when you hear of a new angel - maybe thats normal?!
although i was only 25 weeks not exactly at the finish line like some of you beautiful ladies i guess the grief is the same despite gestation plus i did get the blessing of seeing my angel alive for 3 hours not that he looked like any baby should ... anyway school run has to be done
:o 6 everyday?? thats heartbreaking :(:
I've been thinking of you too Skybie, thanks so much :hug: to you, you've been so supportive to me xxx:
and it's been so sad to hear of Ahurani today as well, it's just so devastating and heartbreaking!! i don't want to sound nosy, but what happened? was she full-term?? it's such a cruel blow for us to get so far and then not have the reward, which is our beautiful, such-loved baby......too hard to think about sometimes.....
not sure what happened, she was 40 and 4 and went into labour on her own which ended in an emergencey c-section. i know she lost about a litre of blood because of it and is in alot of physical pain.
i think thats the thing thts killing me, she HAS to stay in hospital, i dont know hows she able to stand it, all i wanted to do was go home, and i was lucky enough to be able to when i was ready
i know she was full term and required an emergency c-sec other than that im not sure :(
Sadly, the statistics haven't changed much in the last decade. I'm the sort of person who looks at the statistics to try and understand why I was one of them.
Between 1999 and 2008, there was about 2500 perinatal deaths every year. That includes over 1600 babies born sleeping and over 800 neonatal deaths (babies who die in the first 28 days). In that time, there has been a slight decrease in the rate per 1000 births, which you'd hope for.
Being a statistic is no comfort. In fact, it makes me very wary of other statistics that are thrown around. Dont tell me the risk of X is ONLY 1 in 7000 or whatever. My baby was the 1 in 20,000.
Everytime I read about another angel, my heart breaks that their parents and families are now in a world of pain and grief.
There is no normal after a baby dies. That's it - you're living on a parellel world and you can never go back to who you were before. That may sound melodramatic to people who haven't lived through it, but for those of us who live it every day, that's just part of what we deal with.
That kills me too. The thought of being in a maternity ward without your baby is just hell. My heart breaks for her. I walked out the next day with my DH and was able to go home to our own bed and hold each other.:
I have not been through what you all have and can't imagine and won't begin to imagine what it is like. I have however always steared away from posting in these threads as I have nothing to offer. It is easy for someone who has not been through it to say a number of things - all which I am sure are meaniless to those who have just suffered an enoromous loss. After reading the thread this morning I looked at the statistics also (I'm a numbers girl) and was horrified to also read as Tashybabe said that the numbers have not decreased. I have a SIL who carried to term and delivered a beautiful still born bub, with no real explanation as to why.
I couldn't read Tashybabes post and not comment. I truely hope those like myself who have not been through what you ladies have been through can atleast have the compassion to allow you to grieve in your own way for however long that may be.
I for one don't ever think any comments made by those who have been through such great loss are 'melodramatic'.
Kts, for me the messages of sympathy did mean alot. no matter who they were from. and no nothing is melodramtic Tash, and you're totally right, it is like living in a parrallel, everything on the outside looks just like it used to, but at the same time it's totally different
thats the perfect quote, pretty much sums up how i still feel. Eventually you learn to filter through the positive/encouraging comments and the negative ones because according to FIL i should be over Anthonys passing now and our other miscarriages shouldn't effect me and he wonders why i have no respect for him:
I think it's also a sad cruel way to get a reality check..
It's not what you expect at all when you finally conceive that positive test an announce that your finally having that child you have so longed for..
I'm not one that has had problems conceiving but I am one whom has lost a child at the finish line and had a number of m/c's
My heart flops when I hear about all those that suffer that cruel blow.. You start thinking why? How? When?
My heart is bleeding for ahruni and her family now that she will never look into those gorgeous eyes and see that newborn curiosity it's just not fair and no one deserves that.
I have heard of more still births and newborn deaths then I have of full aged adults and that makes me cry cause it's just not right..
Big hugs ladies it's not an easy conversation to have when
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My heart just breaks all over again, everytime I hear of another angel, knowing the pain they are going through :grouphug: to all.
Regards,
Dianne
:angel: Emmanuel @24wks
Trisomy 13
There do seem to be alot of full term angels being born lately. I often avoid the threads about it because my heart aches too much for my mind to even bear the thought. It is so terribly sad that anyone has to go through losing a loved one at all, but for a parent to have to say hello and good bye to their precious little baby in one breath is all too heatbreaking. My soul aches for all of the parents who have had to do it. Life is just not fair sometimes.