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6 babies are born sleeping everday in australia. everyday 6 sets of parents join our shi**ty club.
Ahurani's news has torn me to pieces. Why does the universe wait until the very end to take our babies from us? the finish line in site but we never get our prize. its so unfair.
Thinking of u everyday MD xxx
it is such a ****ty club isn't it and i know exactly how you feel, feeling the weight when you hear of a new angel - maybe thats normal?!
although i was only 25 weeks not exactly at the finish line like some of you beautiful ladies i guess the grief is the same despite gestation plus i did get the blessing of seeing my angel alive for 3 hours not that he looked like any baby should ... anyway school run has to be done
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6 everyday?? thats heartbreaking
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
Sadly, the statistics haven't changed much in the last decade. I'm the sort of person who looks at the statistics to try and understand why I was one of them.
Between 1999 and 2008, there was about 2500 perinatal deaths every year. That includes over 1600 babies born sleeping and over 800 neonatal deaths (babies who die in the first 28 days). In that time, there has been a slight decrease in the rate per 1000 births, which you'd hope for.
Being a statistic is no comfort. In fact, it makes me very wary of other statistics that are thrown around. Dont tell me the risk of X is ONLY 1 in 7000 or whatever. My baby was the 1 in 20,000.
Everytime I read about another angel, my heart breaks that their parents and families are now in a world of pain and grief.
There is no normal after a baby dies. That's it - you're living on a parellel world and you can never go back to who you were before. That may sound melodramatic to people who haven't lived through it, but for those of us who live it every day, that's just part of what we deal with.
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I have not been through what you all have and can't imagine and won't begin to imagine what it is like. I have however always steared away from posting in these threads as I have nothing to offer. It is easy for someone who has not been through it to say a number of things - all which I am sure are meaniless to those who have just suffered an enoromous loss. After reading the thread this morning I looked at the statistics also (I'm a numbers girl) and was horrified to also read as Tashybabe said that the numbers have not decreased. I have a SIL who carried to term and delivered a beautiful still born bub, with no real explanation as to why.
I couldn't read Tashybabes post and not comment. I truely hope those like myself who have not been through what you ladies have been through can atleast have the compassion to allow you to grieve in your own way for however long that may be.
I for one don't ever think any comments made by those who have been through such great loss are 'melodramatic'.
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Kts, for me the messages of sympathy did mean alot. no matter who they were from. and no nothing is melodramtic Tash, and you're totally right, it is like living in a parrallel, everything on the outside looks just like it used to, but at the same time it's totally different
thats the perfect quote, pretty much sums up how i still feel. Eventually you learn to filter through the positive/encouraging comments and the negative ones because according to FIL i should be over Anthonys passing now and our other miscarriages shouldn't effect me and he wonders why i have no respect for him
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I've been thinking of you too Skybie, thanks so muchto you, you've been so supportive to me xxx
and it's been so sad to hear of Ahurani today as well, it's just so devastating and heartbreaking!! i don't want to sound nosy, but what happened? was she full-term?? it's such a cruel blow for us to get so far and then not have the reward, which is our beautiful, such-loved baby......too hard to think about sometimes.....
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not sure what happened, she was 40 and 4 and went into labour on her own which ended in an emergencey c-section. i know she lost about a litre of blood because of it and is in alot of physical pain.
i think thats the thing thts killing me, she HAS to stay in hospital, i dont know hows she able to stand it, all i wanted to do was go home, and i was lucky enough to be able to when i was ready
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
That kills me too. The thought of being in a maternity ward without your baby is just hell. My heart breaks for her. I walked out the next day with my DH and was able to go home to our own bed and hold each other.
i know she was full term and required an emergency c-sec other than that im not sure
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Yeah, it is the club that nobody ever wants to join, and it really only is those people in that club that really get it. That know how we really feel. Also yes, it does feel like a diffrent world, 'a parallel' you come out of hospital and wonder why everbody is acting like it they always did.
I hate the fact that someone new has to keep joining club, and walking down that same path that we have.
It's too cruel.
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You know sometimes i feel like im still searching for that peice of me that was taken itms?
i feel sometimes that when i look at ds i feel like his missed out on something that was his and apart of him..
i ask him all the time about his feelings about it all and he says"mum i see him all the time im fine".. that should be some sort of assurance but i feel like i owe him something..
its hard to know i never get to see him grow beside his brother or even hug him when his upset..
i cant look into his eyes, ill never ever hear him cry, he wont get to feel my warmth or even taste my cheek when he gives me open kisses
he will never feel the sun hit his soft skin, or feel his brother tug him when his playing around..
there is so much i feel that my ds and him have lost and some times i feel like its my fault and even though i know its not. i just feel like that and i cant help it.
the pain, 10 yrs on is still so raw and deep that i think i live everyday with that pain and the pain never stops... i cant get past the pain. i cant get past the things that stopped me from having a healthy boy next to my beautiful ds..
i remember that when i had them and i was in the room with them ds kept looking aroound and when he laid eyes on him he would close his eyes again.. like he knew something was wrong and he kept making sure he was still there..
i wish everyday that no one, No one would ever have to hear those first two words "im sorry" cause sometimes those words will never ever be wanted to be heard again.. for anything
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