What the heck can I do?? I'm at my wits end!

My 7 month old DS is being a right royal s*** right now!
I have SO much I planned on getting done today and he's just being impossible. He's not tired, just waking up from a 20 minute sleep bout an hour ago (less than that actually), had a feed just before going to sleep (so that's bout an hour and a half there - and he feeds at least every 4 hours, sometimes not even that!), he's not in need of a change because I changed him when he woke up.
He's crying whenever I leave the room to put dirty dishes in the kitchen, he's grabbing at everything even though I've given him toys to occupy himself and he just refuses to sit in either of his rockers (one is a sitting up one, and the other is a laying down one - and the laying down one he's trying to sit up)
I was going to put him in the pram, but if he's being like this in the rockers, he wouldn't be any different in the pram.

I am honestly at my wits end! I've got AT LEAST another 3 hours of cleaning to do, have to pick DH from work in 3 hours and with the way this boy of mine is going, I'm not going to get anything done because all he wants is to be held (and the two sling/carriers I've got are in the washing atm as he threw up all over them a while ago and have only just had the chance to put them in the wash)

Has anyone got ANY ideas?? I've even put a show on that I know he likes, and he won't shut up in that either!
ARGH!!! :wall::wall::wall::wall::wall:

:hug: It's so frustrating, but it's also very normal. All my bubs have done this to me from time to time! DS2 was an absolute velcro baby and I couldn't get anything done EVER! DD gets extra clingy when she's tired, sick or teething. Not much I can do apart from cuddle her until she's happy to be put down again, then try and run around and clean/work while I have the chance LOL!

I found when she was around 7-8 months, separation anxiety set in and she would cry if it even "looked" like I was about to walk away from her.

More hugs :hug:. I hope you get what you need done eventually :)

He seems to be going through separation anxiety. Is he crawling yet? If he is then see if he will follow you.

You could try putting him in the pram or high chair and push him into the kitchen or around as you clean, sure it will take more trips doing everything 1 handed, but that adds to the amount of exercise you do and hopefully he will be quiet enough to get some done.

Our place is open plan so I put Leah around the middle of the house and she can see me in most rooms but she still whinges every now and then, but I cant drop everything to be with her the second she starts to cry IYKWIM. Dont beat yourself up is he cries for a minute or 2 while you do something.

hun
the sling is the only thing i would suggest
as trish said- its a normal developmental thing
you can either fight it or go with it
sorry i cant be much more help
it is a phase and they will pass through it
hugs

I agree with aliops put him in the kitchen where he can see you otherwise leave the housework and give him cuddles it happens someday.

Trish, DS has had a cold for a week now, but he's not been like this at all during the week he was sick which is so frustrating! That's exactly what he's doing too - If I take 1 step around the corner and he can't see me looking at him or in his presense, he is horrible - and that's been for at least 2 months now!

Ali - I wish he was crawling - though he's not and he's still really trying. I should just try the pram - I'm just sick of this happening. Every time I need to do alot of cleaning, I can't get it done because he's always like this, then I get the 5th degree from DH saying the house is never clean which peeves me off so much!
He's now rather happy that i'm sitting down with him, but kicking the laptop whenever I type

*det* - Thanks for the suggestions.

blackrose - I have been giving him cuddles for the past half an hour, which is starting to get me more worked up. And I need to get this cleaning done as we're entertaining people on Saturday night and I've got work tomorrow night and Friday night and tomorrow is usually spent trying to relax for work that night and then Friday is sleeping during the day for work at night then Saturday will be me sleeping while DH has to get work done for the week ahead before we entertain people that night *sighs*

JUST as I typed up the thread, he'd pooed, so I'll change him and see if that makes a difference. Though I'm just really really angry right now

:hug: Oh hun please dont be angry and dont be angry wiht him...he doesnt understand that there needs to be cleaning done or chores to do...al he thinks of is he wants his mum and why wont she hold me why is she busy?
I know chores have to be done but he can probably sense you getting agitated and its affecting him.

Flynn is the same at the moment...I am doing everything one handed cause he wont go in t ergo lol He will grow out of it.......Just try to relax and maybe leave the housework till later when he sleeps agian. My house is a mess but I would rather the kids be happy than me being angry with them while I clean x

:hug: :hug: Dont be too hard on yourself xxxx

Oh LizJessie :hug: You sound like you're at wits end indeed.

If it makes you feel any better we had people round last week and I hadn't vacuumed. :redface: I totally apologised and it was horrible, I felt like the worst mother/housewife/hostess ever but I just could not get it done.

I am sure they will understand if the house isn't spotless... :hug:

Can you take DS out in the pram for a walk? Maybe it'll calm you both down.

What happens when DP is home? Can he take him for a bit, so you can catch up? Or what about when he is asleep tonight?

Can you outsource - get someone else in to clean??

from someone with another velcro baby, it does get frustrating sometimes! especially because when they do normally sleep, the last thing you really want to do is clean because you usually need some down time to relax. i agree with a couple of other posters - would he sit in his high chair & have a snack while you did some stuff - if he could be in the same room? that's the only way i can get the dishes done!

i found 6-7 months quite tough before DS crawled because he was his normal cuddly self, but he was also so frustrated because he wanted to be crawling & mobile. i did find that he settled down a bit once he started crawling & he could follow me or play (or destroy!) with different things when he wanted to (rather than me trying to work out what he wanted to be doing).

i'm still getting the sep anxiety now - i try telling him when i leave the room & so on but sometimes it works & sometimes it doesn't!

i hope he settles for you soon & let's you get something done :hug:

(and just ignore your DH or tell him he's on baby duties while you clean!)

Hun go make yourself a cuppa!!!! My household is the same... Charlotte is attached to me 24/7!! I can't leave the room to even pee!! :rofl: And my little man cracks it if I am not sitting down playing with him or if Charlotte touches his trains!!! You should see my house at the moment the loungeroom is covered in a massive train track with milliions of trains everywhere!! So hun I really understand and it is hard not to get cranky.... but go have that cuppa tea xoxo ....

Yesterday I had a playdate at my house and I was really nervous about it running around the house yesterday morning trying to vaccuum, make cupcakes, clean clean clean like a maniac - then realised that I didn't have any coffee and thought god how on earth am I going to get to the shop in time??? In meantime the kids are screaming at me ahhhhhh- so I stop and made a cuppa and thought stuff the coffee, stuff the cleaning - this is my place and its never gonna be perfect when you have kids!!! And people do understand and really don't expect you to be super woman!!! You are a super muma!!!! I guess my long winded response is that its ok that things don't get done and dh should walk a day in your shoes- I have said this to mine many a time!!! Love and hugs xoxoxo

Just wanted to give you a big :hug:

Is there any way you can do the stuff at another time? I know Eden has been a bit clingy lately and I just put her in a sling and she's fine, but thats hard if they are washing! Lucky I have enough to choose from I suppose if one is in the wash ;)

Do you have a bumbo? Sometimes I put Eden in the bumbo in the middle of the kitchen bench, and she watches me cook (which I know doesn't sound safe, but the other kids are usually on either side of her, or I'm watching like a hawk) and she seems happy with that.

Or I put her on the play mat in the room that I'm in and talk to her while I do something.

Umm.... do you have a dryer? I found DS would be happy to sit in the washing basket watching the dryer go round with clothes whilst I did whatever I needed to.

Big huge hugs. :hug:
It's always when we have loads and loads of things to do when they're all clingy and don't want to be put down.

Sorry I don't have anything else to add that the other wonderful ladies haven't already mentioned.
xox

Thankyou all so much for your input.

I managed to get some stuff sorted in the living room. It's not as clean as I want it to be right now, but I did the best as I can with a velcro bub (love that saying btw sloane!), then I strapped him in his car seat in the car cause I REALLY needed to clean that out (we couldn't see the floor, it's that bad) and he happily played with his toys attached to the carseat. Then went to pick up his dad from work and take him to golf where I managed to do some of the kitchen and hang out a load of washing before he started going off again.
At least I got SOMETHING done today

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Then went to pick up his dad from work and take him to golf where I managed to do some of the kitchen and hang out a load of washing before he started going off again.
At least I got SOMETHING done today

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I gotta say... why is he having a go at you about keeping the house spotless when he's off playing golf and having time to himself??? Couldn't he be helping you? This is just my opinion, but YOU aren't the only person to contribute in messing up the house. I expect help cos I have a velcro baby also and it's hard! It's so hard to clean when you are holding them, it's so hard and can be dangerous holding them trying to cook... and omg I usually have Elijah cracking it and/or literally trying to climb my legs when I go to the toilet!

I know I found it really hard to do, but I just had to "not care" so much. I had to just do what I was able to do and not stress about it. I'm thinking you probably were feeling angry because you were thinking how your DH was going to react when it wasn't all done. They don't see the velcro baby all day, every day. It's not attached to them. Sometimes they seriously think we have all the time in the world to keep the house sparkling, so far from the truth it's not funny.

My DH vacuums and last night when I finished my shower I sprayed the cleaner in it and told DH he needed to clean it before he had his shower. There are definitely areas of my home I'd like to be able to "sweep under the rug" though cos it annoys me but I have to just think... well, they're little and only "need" me for a short time and this will still be here tomorrow... *sighs* lol.

:hug: hope you feel better hun.

Glad you got some stuff done hun.
Oh I remember those days! So not looking forward to the again. I used to sit DS in his rocker while i cleaned the girls rooms so he could see me & at your DS's age he sat in the high chair with food so I could clean the kitchen & cook.
Out in the pram for washing (that was fun when it got cold!) & in the walker alot for everything else. Walkers aren't reccommended, but are an awesome invention! Specially with toys on the tray :)

Ozzie - He goes to golf once a week because it's his 'him' time. My break is going to work (You can see where the priorities lie to me)
I've constantly told him that if he finds the place a mess that he could help out and I say the exact same thing as you 'It's not just me that makes a mess you know!' which then consistantly turns into the whole 'but your at home most of the time, I dunno why you can't do a little bit every day, it won't get this bad if you do'
To which I say I have 'It's too damn hard when he's this way'
I could honestly smack him so hard in the head sometimes (DH, not DS :p)
I'm feeling better now. I've been awake for an hour (worked last night and working tonight - DS is with my ILs) and I've done nothing except for get myself something to eat and it feels GREAT not doing anything

~clover~ - Yep, we put the walker right near the back door so he could see me, but I kept disappearing behind clothes so he'd keep whinging.
Thank goodness I'm getting most of the day to myself today (as bad as that sounds) :D

Sounds good to me! :lol: Enjoy! I crave days with out my kids & hate weekends & school holidays! I'll admit it ;)

Next week perhaps DS would enjoy going to golf with Daddy? :p

:hug: If you're feeling angry it's ok to just forget the house and go for a walk. Things seem better outside and I always figured that I was less likely to yell at them if I was in public.

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Ozzie - He goes to golf once a week because it's his 'him' time. My break is going to work (You can see where the priorities lie to me)
I've constantly told him that if he finds the place a mess that he could help out and I say the exact same thing as you 'It's not just me that makes a mess you know!' which then consistantly turns into the whole 'but your at home most of the time, I dunno why you can't do a little bit every day, it won't get this bad if you do'

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I still question why he gets "HIM" time and you get to work? Seriously, I question that and him having a go at you. You are not only dealing with the house, a velcro baby and work... you are also dealing with him saying that you could do a bit each day and it wouldn't get that bad. Well, I wasn't too good at maths, in fact, I hated it. However.... according to my calculations, you have 3 people in the house contributing to the mess. One is not yet able to assist in the upkeep of the home. However, 2 are and yet only 1 is?? So, even a bit each day would keep you behind the eight ball would it not? There are seriously some weeks where I get not a lot more done other than washing!!! (Of course the dishes and all of those things are done)... I have 4 other people in the house and I know that I try to do just a bit each day BUT.... if you are having to do stuff another person has left there then there goes your "few mins" doing that and not something else! Does that make sense?

I have heard the excuses from men before about "it's my me time going to golf/pub/etc"... but seriously, where is the me time for the mum?? Where is the assistance there? If it's not recipricated (sp?) then I don't see it being a fair share of the workload etc. Until you have walked in the shoes of the other, then don't go casting the stone. Is your bub bottle or bf?? If bottle, I'd almost be tempted to leave him with him for a day just to show him a small window into your WHOLE week! It can really open their eyes.

You need more of a break than just work, it's not the same. Can dh go to golf one week and then you get time to catch up with girlfriends or just do something on your own?

We have had a busy couple of months with dh working late and on weekends, he has gone 4wd the last two weeks but this weekend i have said enough so I am leaving him with the girls while I go to the market after a sleep in tomorrow.

It's hard when they are so young and dependent on mum but you need time out and it helps later on if they know daddy can give them comfort and playtime.

Hello my beautiful friend. So sorry you're having a hard time. I just had a thought if you're interested. Have you taken him to see a family wellness chiropractor who adjusts babies and children? I've seen heaps of babies who have had loads of problems respond really well with just a few adjustments. Things it can help with are colic, reflux, sleeping, restlessnes, fussy eating, ear infection etc. Might be worth a try ;)

Snowy White - If only DH would take DH golfing with him. He usually goes straight from work with the person he goes with (as they work together)

Onyx, I think that when I get angry again, I WILL take him for a walk - Just because of what you said - about tending to not yell at them in public

:hug: Ozziehoffy - Hun, thats EXACTLY what I've said before. "Where's my 'me' time? I never get any at all!" to which he says "We get to go to poker" - BUT! Who's the one that's tending to him while we play and he grizzles? Who's the one that feeds him, changes him, rocks him to sleep and usually misses out playing a few hands because they're they one trying to settle him down?? Me! One of the reasons WHY I went to FF (Health issues was the number 1 reason) was because DH had always said 'If I could help with the feeding, then I would help out more' - I usually have to twist his arm to feed him.

black_rose - I wish I had friends. I know, this sounds horrible, but the people I'm friends with are my workmates, and are full time whereas I'm only part time so they're working when I'm not and visa versa. I'd love to have a girls night out one day, but then inside, I'd feel horrible for having some time for myself.

cherished - Thanks for the idea my lovely. I had been given that idea when he was 2 months old and completely forgot about it! Thanks!

" I'd love to have a girls night out one day, but then inside, I'd feel horrible for having some time for myself."

Don't you dare feel bad about having some me time. We as women are conditioned to feel as though if we are not giving to our families then we are failing at our job. This is not true. If we do not regularly recharge the batteries with just some me time then the family unit tends to break down. I hope you understand what i'm trying to say :)

I've learnt over the years you just have to tell DF/DH "ok it's your turn tonight to watch bubs - I'm going out" and if they put up a stink tell them "fairs fair" . You need the time off too especially if the only time you get out of the house is to do some more work. You need some fun time or peace time or silent time not just mum/wife time.

Don't forget you are still a person and deserve exactly the same as everyone else .

Good luck

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"Where's my 'me' time? I never get any at all!" to which he says "We get to go to poker" - BUT! Who's the one that's tending to him while we play and he grizzles? Who's the one that feeds him, changes him, rocks him to sleep and usually misses out playing a few hands because they're they one trying to settle him down?? Me! One of the reasons WHY I went to FF (Health issues was the number 1 reason) was because DH had always said 'If I could help with the feeding, then I would help out more' - I usually have to twist his arm to feed him.

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Well, the poker seems to be for both of you and NOT just for you to have your own "me" time. As for the FF thing... ya know what I'd do one weekend... get the bottle ready, hand bub and bottle over to him and say .. oh I forgot I have an appointment, I'll be back a bit later... and go!!! Go and have a coffee on your own, have a wander at the shops, get your hair done or something.. just take some time to be with yourself seriously! You can do it and you NEED to do it. You need to do it for yourself, for your DH and for bub.

KimB.. so, so well said hun!!