following on from here https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...1/index18.html
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following on from here https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...1/index18.html
:babyneutral: Babies Arrived :baby:
~Stoked~- August
Pip82 - September
Artechim - September
:pregnant: Babies On Their Way :bellyrubs:
eutra_phalia - November
Brogeybear- November
Bella29 - January
Jennifer13 - January
HotI - January
Beansbeans - January
*Ash*- February
loulabelle - February
Sara - May
...Em - May
Subscribing :)
Omg! Next on the list!
Soon, soon Stoked!!!
I used to tell people we were HBing, similar to the way Cassius said it. If someone asked "Where are you having the baby?" I'd say "At home :D", or "What hospital are you going to?", "Oh, we're having a home birth". I guess like BFing, I felt it was important to make HB visible and help to normalise it so I never wanted to keep it a secret.
I was prepared for the doubters and I had a few from my mother's group but generally my family, AP playgroup and anyone else I spoke to (parents from my kindergarten work placement) were all really positive.
I was at a dinner with mother's group and the conversation managed to turn to my upcoming HB (everyone seems fascinated by HB, but they don't do it themselves!). I was getting drilled with all the HB 101 questions. It was getting a bit tedious and I was starting to have to defend my position and say crap like "Well, obviously we'll go to the hospital if that happens" and thankfully someone said "But nothing will happen, you'll have a great birth :D". Couldn't have thanked her enough!
One time I replied to "You're so brave" with "I'd be braver if I went to a hospital!" and it didn't go down that well. You could just tell the mother took it is as insult to her decision to birth in a hospital. Well, you know what, you just implied I'm taking a risk with my baby so if you can dish it out then be prepared to cop it back!
Why do some ppl feel the need to justify their own decisions if your's is different?
Yay Stoked! How are you doing? Do you feel prepared?
DP said today I should invite my very best gf to come and stay with us for the birth. I don't know if she'll be able to because she lives interstate, plus I don't know how much time she'll have, but she suggested it when she stayed at Easter. I'd love to have her support, she's given birth to twins and her 4.5 kg boy and is really supportive and excited about our HB. She'd be DD's support person.
I loved having my GF over for DD's birth! She took video and was fantastic with DS. She was the only person I could think of that we'd all want!
i had my close GF there for DD2s birth...she was the second midwife though so in a defined role but all the same it was magnificent to share this with her.
Cassius & eutra_phalia, were you at the movie Tues? I was there with my Mum. I enjoyed the speaker, even though i had hoped my Mum could meet Gaye D (she got called out to a birth and couldn't be the speaker). Kinda funny, i had actually met the midwife who was the speaker when i had my tour of the birth centre, she encouraged me to go with homebirth!
i want minimal numbers of people at my birth, one midwife and maybe a student midwife i am talking to (who has had 2 homebirths) and then just DH and maybe DD.
hey HotI yep - DH and I were there - sitting close to the back near the door :) Loved the movie!! I was a little disappointed not to see Gaye there (I can't get enough of her calming, positive energy) but also so excited that she was off attending a birth :)
I only want minimal people at the birth - so far our midwife and a student...I'm trying to decide whether or not to ask my best friend to be there...I guess my reservation about her being there is that she doesn't 'get it' ??? If that makes sense....I don't think she gets that I want a homebirth because for me I believe it to be safer, but also its just a completely different approach and philosophy to hospital birth...I don't know :S
I was the other side of the room but also close to the back (maybe 3rd back row), what does your DH look like? what was he wearing ? there weren't that many men there so easier to pick out a man than a woman. bummer we didn't actually meet.
i really liked the second doco. can you remember the name of their fb page?
Very much makes sense. My GF had both her boys in the FBC, where I had DS, but I knew she was the one and only candidate because when I was pg with DS and I said to guess what kind of birth I was having she said "Homebirth!"...and I said, well, no, it's a waterbirth, actually...what made you say homebirth? And she said homebirth would be in line with my values and I felt a niggle for the rest of the pregnancy that I wasn't having a homebirth if she believed I could do it!
So, when we knew I was pg again, I knew that I would have Helen Brown as my midwife and my GF as support for DS, even though DP lobbied hard to have a 'back up plan' for DS in case he had to be farmed out. I refused to have a back up plan because I steadfastly wanted DS to be there, and DS wouldn't have had it any other way.
Definitely, anyone who doesn't understand homebirth or its normality doesn't need to be there.
DH tall and thin, sandy hair, wearing glasses and was in a purple shirt and tie because he came straight from work :):
I think the second movie was called 'Trusting Birth' ??
I will talk to my gf today. It would be good to know she can attend to DD so DP doesn't have to. Also someone to take photos! I know if at the time I feel the need to be alone she's not going to mind if I tell her to bugger off! LOL
Doco sounds great.
M/w visit this afternoon, not that there's much to talk about!
got a message from my gf today too...its all so so delicate!! A few weeks ago she emailed saying she knew we had talked about it a long time ago but that she didn't want me to feel pressured to have her there and that if I had changed my mind she'd understand...I really need to make a decision and let her know
Exactly what I was thinking!! :):
Well, that was easy, you're both off the hook!
looks that way!! :) Now to deal with my mother and we're all set!! :):
dealing with my mother was quite intense...they seem to have a tendency to get very emotional about it all. but remember that if it does get funny (as it did with me) pop in here and let it all out. that's what i did and it really helped to get it out in words.
HotI: nah, in the end i stayed snuggled on my couch :redface: I have been super lazy this week as little M has decided to (after 10 months!) decide that she is a night owl :o.
Jennifer: have a great appointment! that is the wonderful thing about these appts, you get enough time to chat, connect and really build that relationship between all of you and I found that i had a better chance to really have enough time to talk about everything and anything that came up (none of that business of walking out of the OB office and a minute later remembering what it was that you wanted to say/ask IYKWIM).
Is it that separation stuff that happens about 9months? Maybe you just need to move a cot into your room for a few weeks so if she wakes she knows you are there (that is if you dont co sleep - if you do im fresh out of ideas :rofl:):
But your pregnant, now is the time to say whatever you want!:
tegam: we are on the same wavelength! the girls are sharing a room now and if Marta can hear Leila she is all good. but if not then she gets really upset. so then i go in and cuddle her back to bed. then if/when she doesnt go to sleep after that then she comes back in with us :)
You are such a lovely mummy! You should be proud of how much you care!:
A little vent, but open audience doesn't always get it. I love my Mum, we get along pretty well and always have. But, her stories of birth and women's issues just make me cringe. It is like she thinks the female body is revolting and so flawed and we are so lucky that interventions are available. A cousin recently had a baby, 'got so torn up' cos 'she is so tiny' 'should have had a c section' 'had the biggest placenta they had ever seen' blah blah blah. it's the conclusions i get annoyed at, so much that i discount most of what she says and i don't like doing that.
Sometimes she surprises me, by speaking of and agreeing with activism, then this other stuff comes out again.
HotI: I understand where your coming from and it's so frustrating when people see birth that way. Maybe she needs to see videos of smaller women giving birth to big babies or something! Sorry no real advice but definitely understand how annoying it is.
oh that must be so frustrating HotI :( My mum is really onboard with the natural birth thing so I'm lucky that we're on the same page with that, but definitely some of my friends and workmates are the opposite and I find that really difficult to be around sometimes :S:
Vent away hot1. I don't even bother with my mum. Were not close and she doesn't get it. I don't want to have to explain it to her and she doesn't understand. Before I understood why my sister hb'd she and I would always talk about how crazy she was, so I know she doesn't understand so I just don't open myself up to that convo.
Anyway this isn't my vent. I think having low expectations of most people's ability to understand hb especially when u r preg and just trying to be positive, is a good way of not being dissapointed. Then if they are cool about it it is a bonus.
Xx Bella
HotI: i am sure that most of her comments are not malicious but probably more that it is about access to information. I know that if it werent for BB I would probably have some fairly crazy ideas still (even though I was always pro HB etc etc). I know that for my Mum, us having a HB was a big big learning curve and even then only a few days off the actual birth (she was staying with us to help out with Leila and be a support figure for me), she still came out with doozers like (but what if she poos? - having had me when enemas were the par for the course lol). it was really frustrating as I was still very adamant about creating only a positive and supportive space for me emotionally and physically and those comments, although mostly flippant were really rocking.
FWIW, my mum and i had a huge fight the day before DD2 was born and that got it all out and we were all good :lol: (that said i dont recommend letting build up for as long as i did...big pregnant crying can actually hurt the ol' stomach muscles lol).
:hug: Cassius. Not very supportive or helpful to hear! I make it my mission to never impart horror stories of pg, birth, or babies to any of my gfs, particularly not those pg with their first! Why do people need to hear negative, drama-laden versions of someone else's experiences?
I'm sure you'll have a great HB story to share with her very shortly. ;) I love watching the HB videos on youtube, they always make birth look like such a fabulous, life changing experience. Completely centres me and lines up with my expectations.
hoti vent as much as you need too!
It never cease to amaze me how many people have forgotten what a vagina is meant for ::duh::duh:
Speaking of someone who knows how to use her VJJ
SIL went to hospital at 12noon...had baby at 2pm...home by 4pm she reckons! Little GIRL i think her name will be Zoe... She has a big sister called Claire!
Im an aunty again WOOHOO
awww congratulations Aunty Tegam!! :):
If you had to transfer post birth, due to bleeding or damage, would you have to strap baby in the car seat? I reckon that would be safest but i don't know that i would want to so soon after birth.
just my random thought for the day.
i was up over night vomiting and have spent the day on the couch. tummy settled a bit and i had a piece of toast an hour ago that stayed down. would be nice i was feeling baby now so i could just check they were doing ok.
HotI, I guess if you were in an ambulance you would just hold bubba? I was going to say that it seems too soon for my liking, then I realized that DD was only 3 hours old when we drove home and she went in the car seat (for the whole 3 blocks lol). Hope you are feeling better - is it a bug or morning sickness?
Yeah, i thought about people who head home from hospital soon after birth too. Our trip would prob be 45 mins plus, but not gonna need that anyway :crossfingers:
Tummy bug i think, DD and DH don't have it so not sure where it came from. We have all eaten similar food.
When DD was taken in an ambulance at six weeks I sat in the back and held her. Can't remember if I was strapped in or not. Was nothing serious in the end, thank goodness.
we went home after 4hrs with dd2 and then home from hospital with dd3 after 2hrs...they seem so small in the carseats. depends on why you were being transfered i guess. if bub is unwell then it would be on the bed or they call a baby ambulance that would have a humidicrib in it (youd have to be near a big city for this) or if you were unwell i guess it wouldnt be safe for you to hold the baby......
lets just go with...you wont be needing that!
I had to have my car seat installed at 37 weeks in case of transfer. I suppose if I bled after the birth the ambos would prefer if I wasn't holding baby.
I'm 39 weeks today. Feeling very emotionally up and down. Anxious to meet bub but frustrated with myself for being impatient! Grrr!
Hope you're feeling better soon HotI xx
posting in here is just a tease stoked LOL had my hopes up there for a second!
If i dont get to post again before the big event....happy birthing huni!
We had the carseat in from 36 weeks (I was determined I was staying home from 36 weeks even though my MW was feeling pretty strong about 37 weeks :lol:).
I guess if you're transferring for PPH then you'll be pretty unconscious and it's just a sucky situation all round so it makes not much difference that you go in the ambulance and baby goes in the car to be reunited ASAP. If you transfer for a mega tear then it could wait a little (like a few hours surely?) and then you can sit/lie downish in the back with baby (after someone takes out the toddler seat). I'm an over planner :lol:
Hope you feel better soon hoti.
I was getting impatient at 39 weeks stoked. See above- I even thought my baby might come at 36 weeks! He came at 41 weeks on the dot and I was so thrilled by then :lol:
Saw the GP yesterday for my referral to the midwives (so they can book u/s if needed and for Medicare, i think) and to organize all the things I'll need from her to prepare for our home birth. She's a great GP and completely in favor of me going this way, even though I'm her first patient to do so! So I get the Group B strep test done through her at 36 weeks, plus syntocin JIC of bleeding and Vit K for the baby. She also wrote me a letter for the hospital in case I need to transfer.
Off for our scan next Thurs and pretty sure we'll be confirming our girl. DD is very excited!
She asked me the other day, "Mummy, how does the baby get out of your vagina?" So she obviously has listened and watched when I showed her the water birth video! LOL I told her my body sort of opens up and gently squeezes the baby out. May as well start using my calm birth language! I love that she's old enough to share this with us.
Next question was all about how the baby is fed in Mummy's tummy and what does the placenta look like. It's like a continuous biology lesson around here!