Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss #9

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Well tonights BFP is much darker than yesterdays which makes me feel much.more confident, all my m/c have seemed to stay faint lines.

Boobs are feeling sore and enormous already and that heavy full bladder feeling has arrived, hopefully nausea stays away :)

How is everyone else doing?

That's a really good sign mumma T. I'm anxious as hell. I am trying not to think about it. But being on bed rest makes it hard not to think about much else. 5 weeks till first safezone

Bedrest already must be awfully hard, is.it for the duration of pregnancy?

At this stage just my first trimester. I've had 15 miscarriages all before 7 weeks so on top of pumping myself with progesterone, asprin and pregnyl the bedrest is to minimize the risk

At least there is light at the end of the tunnel, and if it gives you your take home baby it's well worth it :)

It so is. But still no guarantee I will make it to 12 weeks. So at the moment I'm trying to feel positive but it's hard. We aren't letting ourselves really embrace it till we are over 12 weeks. Which I guess is why I'm glad for this thread. Unless you've had losses I guess it's hard to relate to lack of a joy yet

Yeah I agree about not being able to relate, one of my close girlfriends is so dismissive of my miscarrages, I dont think she understood how much each one crushed me.

My obstetrician is the only one who seems to understand that it's normal I have gained about 5 kilos out of eating my emotions with the last 9. I have given up trying to explain miscarriages. And so sick of people telling me when its meant to happen it will. Yeah cos 15 losses just mean the time wasnt right :(

Well today is the day AF should have been here, trying to think positive and not to think of the possibility of this one not making term.

Next milestone, 5 weeks. Going to get bloods done Thursday, not sure if I should ask to do beta levels of just go with the yes pregnant

Woohoo I have passed all the miscarriage gestations. Its feeling real now. How is everyone else going?

I am past both my past miscarriage dates too, passed a 8 week scan and now just awaiting a 12 week to get 100% excited. Still double checking every time I go to the bathroom though :(

I'm emotionally not doing very well. I have another scan next Wednesday. Hopefully I feel a bit better after that

Yay for passing your 8 week scan, Yeah I know what you mean about double checking the loo paper, i have never checked the paper so much in my life.

I'm still double checking the toilet paper and I'm 22 weeks..... Peanut is wriggling around and everything, and all scans are okay, but it still get nervous before each scan...

Just popped in to say I am thinking of all of you, and hoping everything is going smoothly.
I haven't had recurrent miscarriages in the past, but lost a bub at 8 weeks and then lost my daughter at two days old following a traumatic birth.
I can relate to many of the emotions that you are feeling and am continually nervous in this pregnancy, this is going to be another high risk one for me, with a high chance of prematurity, as my last son was early.
Mrs Mc, really crossing everything for a good scan on Wed.
Thinking of you,

Thinking of you mrs mc! Crossing fingers your scan goes well xx

Hi everyone :)
Is really nice to find this thread - like everyone has said no one else really understands what miscarriages are like unless they've been through them too so is nice to be able to read all your posts and relate to them.
How is everyone in here going now?
I've been ttc for over 5 years and have had 4 miscarriages during that time and am now pregnant with what will hopefully be my first child :-) I have morning sickness this time round which has never happened before so am taking that as a good sign! But like others in here I am also running to the loo a lot to check for any bleeding which makes me feel anxious but so far so good.
Hope you're all doing well still and are feeling good :)

Congratulations Kitty Kat, I am still plodding along, another 6 days until my 12 week scan and I am in a mild panic most days thinking about it.

I hope this one turns out to be a sticky one for you xx

Contras kittykat! So happy for you. It's really hard at the beginning as you just feel so worried. I'll be crossing everything that this ones a sticky one. So sorry you've had a rough journey so far. I'm 25 weeks with my first after 4years TTC,1 miscarriage and 1 chemical pregnancy. It was my 9th IVF Embryo transfer. It's hard. But every milestone helps. Being sick also makes it challenging and difficult as well. look after yourself and take each day at a time. Xox

**Just stalking to check myturns progress :lol: July babies rock! What is your EDD?**

Awww shucks Tasha :)

I'm 26 weeks and 3 days today. Can't believe it really. Feeling much more relaxed and confident - but always a deep worry just sitting there that something will go wrong.

STILL check to make sure I'm not bleeding - and I had a MMC last time so I never even had that worry. Yet it still sits there.

Starting to worry that I'm not going to be "good" at this - the mum thing. What if i hate it? If I think too much there are a million what ifs.

I barely have anything for the baby. Must get onto that. But we only moved house two weeks ago and are still trying to finish the other place to sell it.

Myturn, you will do great at the mum gig and as much as there is hard stuff there is awesome stuff that makes all the hard worth it tenfold.

Things like that first cuddle in the morning when my almost 2 year old just sinks into me, that alone is awesome. You can't help but love the mum gig. I do remember having the same thoughts. I was also scared he wouldn't like me

Thanks mumma t

Sometimes things just feel so unreal.

I realised today that I am scared of buying anything big. We have nothing practical for the baby yet. I'm nearly 28 weeks, and we have no car seat, no cot, no pram... Just a few odds and ends... A couple of nappies and suits and that's it.

I'm worried about making the 'wrong' choice (and tbh, that's not all about having had a miscarriage - partly about dad issues and partly LTTTC as well.... ) and everything is starting to feel so hard. I don't feel like I ever has that 2nd trimester love being pregnant this is great kinda feeling and glow. I'm achey and tired and sore and overwhelmed already... And the hard part is still coming.

Just remember the kids don't know if it's stylish or not, if it's the in colour. Go with what ever seems most practical to you and you can't go wrong. There will be something you will get that makes you think you should have got a different kind but that can't be helped. I went through 2 highchairs before I ended up buying the ikea $30 one which I love. This baby will be lucky to have anything new as I need very little except a few clothes if it's a girl

Yeah, practical is the main issue (although something that looks cool is secondary, I do want it to be useful!) - it's just cause I don't know what I'll be doing and how everything will work for me, I'm not sure what practical IS for me... And I feel a bit stoopid, but I am putting to much pressure on myself to "get it right"

Anyhoo.... Finishing up the unit to sell in the next week or so - finally - that will be good to get off the list, then DH and I can go shopping and make this place happen!

Myturn. I was the same. I couldn't decide on anything, I was scared to buy stuff etc.
Everyone is different I guess but I remember reading a thread in here somewhere about people's favorite must haves. It helped me narrow down to the essentials.
There is so much stuff you think you need and then never use!
Once you start gathering things for your nest you'll get on a roll :)

Yep, I was scared to buy stuff too. Didn't have anything big (pram, cot etc) until after 28 weeks too. I figured it might be ok after 28 weeks bc if the baby was born prem it would have a good chance if survival. It is stressful buying the 'stuff', but really all they need is a place to sleep, some clothes & you. Anything else can be dealt with later.

I agree with joeve (again!), when you start buying, you get in to it! I bought too much stuff, but enjoyed the process of nesting & looking back it was a good way to realise that - yes - there is a baby on the way. You will actually have a real, live baby. The amount of times I reorganised his clothes drawers... I may have had little boxes with tags on for 00000's, 0000's, 000's etc... unecessary of course, but the way I chose to prepare. You'll find your own 'thing' once you start. The first big purchase is fun/daunting, but then it's like 'what can I buy next?!'. : )

Did you actually use 00000s andie?? I've only bought a few 0000s and 000s.

Did some research online last night after I wrote that post and feeling better about the pram options - I was getting my head stuck on an Italian option that's not out in Australia yet

I suspect we won't have purchased anything till I am 30 weeks if that - we still have to paint the room and plan to do that at Easter. That's okay though. I know it doesn't matter - and partly I am waiting for the baby shower which isn't till I am 33 weeks - after that I can go crazy cause I will know what I have for gifts as well.

Thankyou it really does help having you guys in here xox

I put all my big stuff on layby first so I could pay it off. But even then I was about 20 weeks I think. No matter how hard I pictured it, I could never see myself with a big full term belly let alone a gorgeous little girl. I just thought maybe it was a sign it wasn't going to happen. Totally normal to feel this way. You will look back when you have your bub in you arms and wonder why you were so silly :)

I never used 00000 and DS was only in 0000 for 4 weeks. There's nothing wrong if you wait t the shower and then buy, you will still have plenty of time to find it all. a little research now then buy up later sounds good :)

Yes, I used 00000's my little guy was 2.5 kgs when we left hospital. Little weenie! Can't remember how long he was in them, at least a few weeks, maybe more. We had feeding issues too, so took a while to plump him up. : )

I guess I family can always buy smaller sizes when peanut is born if what I have already is too big :)

I don't want to wish any part of this experience away - but I just want it to be here so I know I finally be a mum and it won't get taken away from me (not that you can ever guarantee that - but you know what I mean).

I found the closer I got to full term, the more I just wanted him out safely. I felt like I was pushing my luck my being pregnant for too long, like something would go wrong at the end. Normal considering the time/heartache it took to get there. (And for what it's worth, my dh & I sometimes still have that 'it might get taken away at any moment' feeling sometimes. We can't believe our luck some days). Xx

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I found the closer I got to full term, the more I just wanted him out safely. I felt like I was pushing my luck my being pregnant for too long, like something would go wrong at the end. Normal considering the time/heartache it took to get there. (And for what it's worth, my dh & I sometimes still have that 'it might get taken away at any moment' feeling sometimes. We can't believe our luck some days). Xx

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This is how I felt too.

Just jumping in to say hi, Myturn! So excited to see you're plodding along nicely and it's not long at all before you meet your little one (even if it seems like it's still ages away!!) I bought most of my stuff for bubba secondhand, I loved Gumtree for great bargains! Cot we had before baby was born, pram I bought when I was about 8 weeks pregnant, I just felt like it was an optimistic move, as in "this baby is going to make it". My bubba was 3.6 kilo when born, was only in 0000 for a little while, 00000 was too small for him, he was too long for it. I hardly bought anything, as I received a lot of presents, but also found I didn't even use half of it, as he was mostly wearing just onesies and swaddled, so didn't need warm clothes. He was a spring baby though… Do you know what you're having? Also loads of nice newborn stuff on gumtree that's still brand new! I started buying his 00 and 0's 2nd hand and have found some really good bargains for beautiful clothes!!

Don't know if it's a boy or girl - keeping it a surprise - though I can see why people want to find out, it is a bit tricky to buy things!

Feeling a bit better today after 2am browsing on the internet researching prams and all that last night.

It is relieving knowing that you have had similar feelings. At the moment I am feeling all good about us finishing the unit over Easter and starting the painting of the 3 bedrooms in the new place as well - then Anzac Day weekend we should be able to get some if the big baby stuff. Will wait till the baby shower for the rest. There's time. And if there isn't. Well. We will just have to deal.

As you can see - much more optimistic today! Missed you guys. Thanks for being here xo

How's everyone going? Finding it hard to believe I am 14 weeks tomorrow, only 26 weeks to go

I've only got 9 weeks to go! I'm 31 weeks on Tuesday - can't believe it!!!

Sneaks in to woo hoo myturn ... So glad soon it will be your turn! Lol xx
Sneaks out x