TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after 1st Trimester June 07 #2

If you have found yourself in this forum you no doubt have had a painful journey. TTC after recurrent miscarriage/stillbirth or Late Loss takes special courage and support. The aim of this forum is to provide a place where women who have endured loss can share their stories, friendships, treatments and triumphs!

My greatest wish is that you all leave this forum with nice big fat positives in the shortest possible time!!!

I hope so much that this month is YOUR month for a

If at any time you'd like to make a suggestion, or provide any constructive feedback for this forum, please contact one of your following moderators:

Cailin - cailin@bellybelly.com.au Admin
Flowerchild ~ flowerchild@bellybelly.com.au
Tiggy - tigga_m@hotmail.com

or alternately you may contact Kelly at info@bellybelly.com.au (however she may take a little longer to respond at times!).

We appreciate all your feedback as it does help to make our forums a much happier, relaxed place to chat! We will always take your comments seriously - all comments are treated confidentially...

You will find the previous thread HERE

Lynn - That is fantastic... Well you dont do things by halves do you ;) I know you would be ecstatic to have twins so lets keep our fingers crossed :hug:

Deb - Good going Col :D Every single ultrasound is just that little bit closer to meeting him/her in person :hugs: Cant believe you are almost 10 weeks already :O

Jo - :hug: for you today. I hope you are ok.

Hi to everyone else :)

Hi everybody, Hi dr Nick - I just cannot help doing that!?

Lynn - Hope and Beau, Beape and Ho...ha ha, imagin if you had 2 in there...that would be great!

Flowerchild - Yay on the scan. That ticker of your is just speeding home too isn't it. yay Col.

Mel - Thankyou. it means the world to me :)

Hello to everyone else. I feel yuk today, just MS and bloated and ew! Woo hoo!!

Love The Simpsons - cant wait for the movie :lol: I always think of Dr Nick when I say Hi everybody (in my head I say it with that accent LOL)

That's not good about the m/s - but in a way it is cause its signs of pregnancy :D I hope Faith eases up a little bit though, you wants symptoms but not too many ;)

Bailey - good to hear the MS has hit you hard - well it is a good sign anyway. Sore boobies - DH AND DD !!! want to touch them all the time - they are bloody too sensitive at the moment - go away kids (yes you too DH!).

Bailey: MS is such a pain in the butt but such a great thing at the same time. Anyone else reading this might think I am mildly insane. When I had it, and in the morning had a chuck, I was like, phew I am still sick. OK we need another wing of the nut-house, the chuck room (lol)

Lv Spring

Hi all,

Lynn - wow great results :dance:

Deb - sounds like Col is duing well :)

Big hello to everyone else, hope everyone is well!

I just wanted to thank you all for you thinking of me yesterday, it was a hard day. DH's workmates all remembered as did my parents, but MIL never even mentioned it, nor did any of DH's family :(
Af appeared to be staying away i thought,(just had a bit of spotting, then nothing at all yesterday) but it arrived with a bang this morning :wall:

Jo I am so sorry AF arrived :hug: It sucks huh! Its hard when people dont live up to our expectations which their support, I mean I personally dont think we really ask too much. I hope AF is kind to you, if she has to come at least she can make it as painless as possible.

Jo - :hug: I was thinking of you and Storm yesterday and hoping so much that AF stayed away. I'm glad that you had support around you from your parents and unfortunately some people do disappoint us in their lack of support. Maybe AF was being kind to you yesterday but I am sorry that she arrived today. Take care, thinking of you :hugs:

Bailey - I don't think there is two, just one..........little *Hope*. I wish she would make me sick!

Mel - :hug: :hug:

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend

Hi gals,

Jo - I am sorry that AF arrived and that the IL's didn't mention anything. Some people just don't get it do they? I hope you are doing ok.:hug:

Lynn - Just one huh? Yeah, we'll see. Oh, and be careful what you wish for on the MS, blegh! I have had a horrible day today.:cryinglaugh:

Mel - I have one emoticon to say to you :bd:

Spring - Is there room for me in the new ward? Maybe there should be a special wing for those that suffer multiple weirdo-issues.

Kath um I mean Bailey - LOL (in a Kelvin way) :lol: Not bothering this month - we have DTD but I havent even stayed in bed to keep everything in place (iykwim :redface:). If I dont try, I cant be disappointed right? Well thats my thinking anyway.

:

---

If I dont try, I cant be disappointed right? Well thats my thinking anyway.

---

I know what you mean Mel, i get a bit like that too :redface:

Lynn - I'm sure you'll get m/s soon enough! LOL!

Bailey - hope m/s isn't treating you too bad!

Hello to everyone else!

How are all you girls up Sydney way, hopefully your not too wet!

Hi everyone,
Sorry I didn't pop in yesterday. We caught the train to Brisbane and didn't get back until late. My kids love the train but man it takes forever!!!!

Sorry Jo that your period arrived... I wish I could wave a magic wand but remember soon the :bfp: fairy will visit. It's going to happen...

I hope you all have a gorgeous Sunday I will pop back later... :hug:

Hey girls

Jo I am sorry that AF reared her ugly head. I too was thinking of you on Friday. With the IL's, I have come to learn that some people are just totally emotionally defunct, their problem honey not yours. I don't know if you have ever read about my MIL, but trust me, I know how it feels not to have our children validated.

Mel: I have been watching your ticker closely babe, that TWW is a killer. I agree with your plan for this month, you just do what you want so if that means getting up after DTD then you go for it. I hope that this month it is glee that you feel, not disappointment.

Deb: The train to Brisbane with 4 kids, girl you need a stiff drink (pitty Col wouldn't allow).

Lynn: Hmm, one or two, perhaps we should start a book and get some money down.

Well all is great here. No dirty weekends though Bailey, the tummy sort of takes away the spontanety at the moment and DTD is getting to be a planned event IYKWIM. We watched Blood Diamond this morning. I don't know if any of you have seen it but it was really hard to watch. Very violent but I closed my eyes during the really bad bits. It is all about the illegal diamond trade in Sierra Leone and the children soliders. We have a rule in our house, if a movie is based on a true story, then no matter how hard it is to watch, those people deserve for their story to be told. I did cry my eyes out though, and I think I even caught DH welling up a bit although he will never admit it.

Anyway, we are going to keep doing the washing, unpacking and then take the dogs for a walk if the rain stays away. We have BABEL to watch this arvo so no doubt I'll be balling again.

I think also it is about time we organise a catch up with the Sydneysiders, I'll post about it in the other thread.

big lv
Spring

Hey girls,

Spring - I agree with you about the movies, some movies I find really hard to watch but yes I always think well if its hard to watch, imagine living it like those people did. I havent heard of that movie, might have to check it out. Re the TWW I have to admit DH and I DTD on CD11 (because of the test the next morn) and CD13 and thats it, I just dont want to try anymore, if it comes to IVF sobeit but I just cant continue to torture myself each month. In saying that though, on CD12 the FS said that the follie was ready to burst and probably would that night or the next, well that night I had really bad bloating and almost cramping, has the feeling like I had to walk around and support my tummy cause it felt heavy and like my innards were going to fall out and got heaps of EWCM and then the next night the EWCM had pretty much gone. We didnt DTD that night cause I was too tired so we probably missed it anyway, oh well what can ya do. How big is your belly? Do you think you are bigger at this stage of pg than your were with Harry? They say your 2nd you are bigger - I know its true for most of the woman I have know. No doubt your enjoying having DH home finally. It will take some getting used to for you, and even Frank and Vinnie. Bet its much nicer going to bed at night :) (no I am not being dirty LOL).

Lynn - I read in another post that you are finding it a bit harder being pregnant and I just wanted to send you a big :hug: and say that I hope things get a little easier for you (if that is possible). I can understand the mixed feelings you pg women must feel, and not to mention the hormones messing with you as well. It is perfectly normal for you to miss Cooper though, and I would guess that when Hope arrives you will miss Cooper more again. While you will be grateful to have Hope, you will probably be sad because you want Cooper as well. Well thats what I am guessing will happen to all of us anyway, sort of like a bittersweet kind of feeling.

Well later this afternoon is the when the nursery is being taken down, and I am a really bad wife though because I have asked DH to do it on his own. I know that sounds pretty unsupportive but I just dont think I can do it because I will just cry and cry. But then I keep wondering maybe its something I need to do, as hard as it will be maybe its part of my grieving that I need to experience. And really if it makes me cry and cry is that bad? Maybe its good to let it out. Oh well, I dunno what to do.

Hope you all have a nice bonus day off :)

Mel: Thinking of you today - it's a big thing to do and I am sending you my love and a big squishy hug... :hug:
Did your obs say he would try ivf if you don't conceive this month? You are going to get there my love. It's going to happen.

Hi to everyone else - I hope you are having a lovely long weekend... :hug:

:

---

If I dont try, I cant be disappointed right? Well thats my thinking anyway.

---

Lol Mel, I live by this! I am so half-@rsed in most things I do, so that if it works out I can then get excited :D

Sorry I have been a bad poster, I am sick!! Feeling just horrible...but trying not to complain. I will come back later and chat.

Mel: Big :hugs: to you babe. I hope this afternoon wasn't too hard for you and DH. Packing up the nursery is such a symbolic thing, but it doesn't mean that you love or miss Nicholas any less. You aren't a bad wife for asking DH to do it, I did it on my own, my DH said it wasn't something he could do, he said he would,I knew that for me it would be healing but it wasn't the case for him. I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore, but we got there, as will you and DH. Some more big :hugs: just for you and DH.

Bailey: Oh you are giving me m/s flashbacks. I know you don't want to complain but you still deserve some sympathy because it is overwhelming sometimes. Big *feel better* vibes coming at ya.

Well today has been another nice day just hanging with DH. His cousing is coming over for dinner, he is part of the MIL team but I have promised to be nice. I have a scan tomorrow I think it is a Placenta Doppler scan. The Ob said it wasn't necessary but a wonderful opportunity for DH to see bub and to give me some peace of mind. I am looking forward to it but nervous at the same time.

I then have to go and get my GD BT and get a BT for antibodies. I am O- and DH is A+ so I am due to have an anti D shot soon. Oh the joy, but hey, I'm not complaining. In the arvo DH is going to give the garden a once over and I am going to lay on the couch and recover from the BT. I am such a needle sook.



Big love

Lv Spring

Hi Everybody :)

Bailey - I am with Spring, you deserve some sympathy :) And about being half-a**ed, I never used to be but everything I do lately is... you should see my house :redface:

Spring - Glad you have had some relaxing time with DH. Is he starting back at work soon or has he got a little bit of time off? Hope his cousin behaves himself and keeps his nose out iykwim. I cannot believe you had the strength to do Harry's nursery on your own, you are very brave. Read below, I am not even nearly as brave as you! Good luck with your scan tomorrow, I am sure everything will be fine but make sure you pop in and let us know anyway. Say hi to lil Spring for me while your there :D

Well we chickened out :( We kept putting it off and eventually I just said to DH do you still want to do it and he said no not really so we decided to leave it today. I just dont have the motivation to do it and I have a headache and really just cant be stuffed. (Bailey - remember that half-a**ed thing LOL). So we have decided we will still do it but just not today. Knowing us one day we will just wake up and say ok today is the day and do it then. Maybe it is just not something we can plan. I dunno maybe I am just making excuses for my weakness.

Anyway, no doubt I will be back later. DH is hooked on PS2 atm so I am a PS2 widow - he says oh well thats makes up for him being a BB widower for the last 9 months LMAO. Point taken :rolleyes:

Love Mel

Deb - Sorry forgot to reply to your post... I am booked into have a laparoscopy on 28th June which is I think 5 days or so after AF is due (obviously booked that far away so we can make 100% sure I am not pg). If he finds anything wrong he will fix it while he is in there, he said it is possible to have adhesions after childbirth which can affect fertility, he said he will also make sure there are no underlying infections (highly unlikely without any other symptoms apparently) or ovarian damage, or blockages of the tubes. He thinks that the laparoscopy will not show anything but that we have to make sure of this before starting IVF. So if it shows no abnormalities the cycle after that will be IVF. It is so frustrating cause I just cant get my head around that fact that I have this infertility problem now when I fell pregnant on the pill (admittedly I stuffed up one month but you know). Anyway, at this point I will do whatever I have to get that baby - except keep trying month after month cause I just cant do it anymore.

Spring: You have the same bloodtype as my sister (She has gone through many miscarriages and a mollar pregnancy. I wonder if my bloodline jus thas issues with these things). I have B- blood, so I also have to get those shots. I keep being paranoid that my next pregnancy will be difficult since I was given the shot the week before Beatrix died (my doctor nearly forgot to give it to me). Needless to say, I switched hospitals.

Hi girls

Avalanche - I just wanted to say that Im sorry for the loss of your little girl. I hope you can find the comfort and support with all the beautiful women in here.

Hi girls just a quick one from me, I glad to see all is going well with you wonderful women, Mel - Im thinking of you each day and can only hope that the UTD fairy spreads her magic dust all over you and you to can be in that wonderful place.xxx I know I have not been around but please know Im thinking about you all and I do pop in to see that all is well, just not the best time for me right know but I just want you all to know Im thinking about about you and praying for time to go by and get those babes inarms crying, pooing and comforting you asap. I will be back in soon but please all keep well.

All my love Natxxxxx

Avalanche: I think that being Rhesus negative is not uncommon so I doubt that it would have to do with your sisters problems. The issue is if you have negative blood and your partner has positive blood. There is a simple blood test that you can get which checks your anti-bodies. If there are anti-bodies, then it may have an affect. Sorry, I know I am being a bit confusing, I hope that I have helped.

Nat: Great to hear from you again. We miss you so much and love it when you pop in.

Mel: I think you did the right thing, the nursery can wait, you have to be in the right state of mind to cope with it and if that means waiting a few days or a few weeks then so be it.

Lv Spring

Ps. Cousin is behaving, been actually quite nice which is refreashing.

I thought I'd let you all know that I'm trying to catch up on your conversations -- basically lurking. :redface:

Mel: DH and I took down most of our nursery stuff, but I think I'll have some of it up for a good long time. I guess to others it looks kinda like an alter, but it makes me feel better to have a little something tangible.

I'm going to try to garden a bit today instead of obsessing. Or more likely, in addition to obsessing. hugs, m

just a quick one ladies i haven't had a chance to catch up, auntie m and avalanche I'm so sorry to hear of your losses.
i just wanted to tell you of another eerie happening, this to go along with my one last week, i was going to meet with dp today he called me when i was walking over tower bridge, he was on the side i just came from. i turned around and went back and stopped and waited on one part of the bridge. i stood there for a good 10 minutes staring at the view, some graffiti caught my eye, i took a look and it was phoebe's birth date, 17.02.07 clear as day, right under my nose, there was no other grafiti to be seen just this, now ladies this is just getting too weird, don't you think? i took a photo again cause it had to be seen to be believed

Bailey - it is really hitting you hey - but it is all good ! Have you told anyone yet ?

Mel - it doesn't matter that you didn't pack up the nursery - when you are ready it will happen and like you say it will be spontaneous. I am glad that you could feel yourself ovulating - a good sign that "something" is happening down there. Don't worry about not DTD - it won't be long. You know that your nursery will be used nursery in the not too distant future (perhaps 10 or 11 months - does that sound ok?)

Klee - very weird about that graffiti - but i think it is nice - you have another momento of Phoebe. I wish i had a newspaper clipping of the date when Tommy was born of "what happened today" as a momento but just didn't think about it.

Hello to Dream, Avalanche, Aunty M and everyone else....hope you have recovered from having a nice long weekend (for those in Oz).

Hey all,
Just popping in for a quick hello!
Be back later!!!

Hey girls,

Tommysmum - I haven't told anyone yet, might have to tell BIL as you know he lives with us so he will be wondering why I am laying around on the lounge all the time. I want to tell mum but I might just wait a little bit. Sorry to hear about DH's friend, I swear, your DH has had enough to deal with this past year and a bit hasn't he?

Klee - Wow, another sign. Your little one is a busy girl letting you know she is around huh? I think that I would find some comfort in those things happening. How do you feel about it?

Auntie M - Just jump on in on our converations, they can be hard to understand sometimes can't they? :) How are you doing?

Spring - So how much are you enjoying having hubby home? That is good about cousin behaving, though the night was still young when you posted that :D Lotsa luck with your scan today.

Lynn - please don't stress about not having the MS, with DH, i didn't get it til really late. It will probably hit you with a vengance very soon.

Mel - Don't worry about the nursery, I am like that, I will put things off forever then just wake up one day and get stuck into it. I am sure that like most things in life the dread of doing it in the lead up may be worse than the actual event IYKWIM. You might actually feel so relieved when it is done.:hug:

Hi to everybody else too.

I have been a slack poster, I have been feeling gross. yesterday was a bad day, layed in bed most of the day. Was ok for a few hours last night, then felt so sick again late last night (sorry about my sudden MSN departure Mel) though I am not actually throwing up just feeling like I want to. Lol, me and DH keep saying that it is a girl, cos that is how I was with Asha, but with DS, I wasn't as sick, but would actually vomit too. Weird. Well, i am off for a GP appointment today so she can write all of my referrals for the Womens Hospital. Only 4 more weeks til my appointment, they think that I am actually 8 weeks along because of my last AF, but I didn't tell them I O late when I called the hospital, I will play dumb and let them work it out at my first appointment, as they won't take you before 12 weeks, and I really just want to get in there and work out my plan and what they are going to do with me. And then after the docs, I am taking my little Ogre to see Shrek the Third. We actually already have it on DVD, but he just loves the movies - well he loves jumping on the chairs at the movies, anyway.
Bye for now!

Welcome Avalanche and AuntyM - it's so nice to have you in here... :hug:

Bailey: Sorry you haven't been well - I haven't told my "mum" yet either. She drives me nuts with the phone calls "are you okay" - "what does the doctor say..." etc etc. I love her to bits but it drives me absolutely batty when it's hard enough keeping my head together. They are away until the end of June so she will be home right smack in the middle of my "drama" time... I think I will put it off for a while longer to tell her...

Klee: I am sure Phoebe is watching over you and sending you lots of confirmation... :hug:

Mel: I am sorry I forgot about the laparoscopy - that's a wonderful start and will give you some idea of what's happening on the inside... You are not a chicken - you are brave and courageous - but not ready to take that nursery down yet and that's perfectly okay... :hug:

Nat: So lovely to see you again... :hug:

Have a gorgeous day - I will pop back later... :hug:

Hi Girls - Well I am home today, woke up this morning with the worst headache so DH said stay home (gotta love being a temp) and I woke up at 1.30pm LMAO, what a lazy bum! But my headache is gone so I must have needed the sleep. We have a Sids and Kids meeting tonight so I am glad it has gone so I can go.

Avalanche - Glad to see you pop in :)

Aunty M - Who cares if people think you have an alter, Yeti deserves one I think. We have a shrine-like thing to Nicholas on top of our piano, it has his urn surrounded by his birth certificate (still in cylinder), the stuffed toys he was given in the hospital by my mum and sister, a photo, a butterfly candle that the celebrant sent to us because it is the same as the ones lit around his coffin, and an amethyst crystal (which has healing qualities) that a friend gave me about a month after. I am sure people walk in and think we are freaks - who cares?

Nat - Nice to see you pop in again, I hope you are ok and things ease up a little on your soon :hug:

Klee - Wow that is amazing, I think Phoebe is there with you :hugs: Are you having a nice time? I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are getting on.

Deb - Yeah the laparoscopy will be good, not that I want surgery but its only a minor op and it will tell us one way or the other what is going on. I can understand why you havent told your mum, you have enough to deal with looking after your kidlets and the stresses and worry of pregnancy. There is no way I couldnt tell my mum or my sister when I eventually get a BFP they have already demanded to know straight away LOL.

Lynn - I know you are having a bit of a tough time, but I wanted to give you a little WOOHOO anyway because you are 6 weeks today and as far as I am concerned each week is one week closer to meeting Hope. Hope you had a nice night with your sis.

Bailey - Hope the MS doesnt disrupt the movie, I cant wait to see Shrek 3 I love kiddy movies (but then you already know how mature I am :rolleyes:). Hope your visit to the GP went well, how good would that be if you are further along than they thought - Faith will be with you in no time. Oh and I have heard that MS is more prominent with girls than boys, dont know if its true. But I had no MS when I was pg with Nicholas and heaps of people said you must be having a boy then.

Spring - Glad the cousin behaved, hope it continued through the night. Hopefully you pop in to let us know about your US before I go off to the meeting, dont want to wait until tomorrow LOL

Tommysmum - Well I dont really want to wait 10 or 11 months, can I pick yesterday instead? ;) Time just seems to be dragging you know, but then on the other hand it feels like I was holding Nicholas in my arms last week. How is your little bean going by the way? Do you have a nickname? Are you finding out the sex? And most importantly telling us? LOL. I dont have a paper from the day Nicholas was born either but I will never forget what happened the day he passed. When we on our way to the hospital on the Monday (before we knew he had died) we heard on the radio that Steve Irwin had died.

Jo - Hope you are well.

Michelle - Hope you are Oscar are home safely, cant wait to hear how everything went :hug:

Hi to everyone else - off to start cooking dinner so we can eat before S&K.

Love Mel

Mel - big :hug: to you babe. I know how hard it must have been just deciding to take down the nursery. You will know when you are ready. I hope your headache has gone. At least you got a day off work! I love having a sleep during the day. You are not a freak for the shrine you have for Nicholas, or I am one as well. I have 2 shrines. We have one in our bedroom with his birth certificate framed on the wall and then below that on our dresser is his urn, his toys and his memory box and a few framed photos. In our foyer we have a hutch and it has white oriental lillies, a candle I made with his name and DOB, cherub candle holders, butterflies, stars, anything that I buy in memory of him. I hope the S&K meeting goes ok tonight. You will be without your buddy, Klee. Well yeah I am having a bit or a rough time at the moment, but I can't complain can I? You are right, I just need to take a week at a time and before I know it I will be meeting *Hope*. I have heard that m/s is worse with a girl. I had it for about 4 weeks with Coop but it wasn't really bad. Anyway I will buzz you soon for a chat :D

Bailey - enjoy the m/s! And also I hope it eases up on you as well. I hope your dr appointment went well today.

Klee - it's a sign babe! Your little girl is with you everywhere you go :hug: I hope you are enjoying your holiday. Take care and we will *see* you soon

Aunty M & Avalanche - welcome. You will find loads of support here. These girls are the best!

Nat - big big big :hug: to you babe.

Spring - it must be awsome to have DH home. I hope you both enjoyed seeing lil Spring today.

Jo - hope you are well

Deb - I will be thinking of you tomorrow :hug: I'm sure everything will be fine and lil Col will be bouncing around! :hugs:

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well.

Well I had my ob appointment today and all went well. He is such a wonderful, understand, caring man. He had tears as we spoke about Cooper. He said that he is positive that I will have a baby in my arms very soon and crying! I feel a bit better after seeing him because we have a plan, but I still want to feel pg!!!!!

Mel: Sorry you had such a bad headache but by the sounds of it you just needed to sleep it off. I hope the S&K meeting is ok, big :hug: babe.

Lynn: I am so glad that your Ob sounds wonderful, that is exactly what you need. Now I am just going to send some :ms: vibes your way. Crazy I know but I am sure you want them (lol)

Klee: That is a sign from your little girl hun. I had so many of them after I had Harry. One day I will share them all with you. I know from the signs that he has given me that my little man is with me always.

AuntieM: Welcome babe, we are hear to listen when you are ready to talk and when you have caught up with all our babble.

Deb: thinking of you tonight and tomorrow, I know how tough Scan eve can be so just know that you and Col are in my thoughts.

Well I had my scan today. Bub was perfect but mumma was a different story. It just makes me realise what I am missing. It wasn't so long ago that DH and I were gushing over Harry and his cute little button nose. I didn't keep it together very well but luckily the lady doing the scan was very experienced but also very compassionate and we ended up leaving with about 20 pictures. Some of the 3D ones are just amazing.

My BT was just traumatic. Lynn you will get a giggle out of this. For those of you who don't know I have some needle issues. I have been known to say I would prefer a pap smear before a blood test and I really mean that. Anyway, they tried both arms and after about 10 mins of digging around got a good vein. Both arms feel like cement are throbbing and I don't even want to think about the bruises I am going to have. Oh well, I get my GD results on Thursday so hopefully all is well and I don't have to go back.

I'll pop in during the night if I can.

Huge big Lv
Spring

Mel: I just wanted to say a separate thank you to you. Your precious gift arrived today. I will treasure it and I have decided it is coming to the hossy with me.

Thank you so very much.

Lv Spring

Spring, I know what you mean about needles. My SIL is a pediatrician, and she made a "tent" over my IV insertion at the hospital when Yeti was born so I wouldn't stare at it and freak out. It had a cute little dog sticker on it, just like she does for her young patients.

Klee, how awesome to get a message from your darling Phoebe. I keep asking Yeti to touch me too, but I think I'm still too overwrought to notice (and possibly always a bit dense in that department).

Lynn, I'm sending a hug out across the ocean for you and your Hope. Each day is a day closer to holding her on the outside.

Mel & Lynn, so glad to hear that alters are not out of the ordinary here. My friends & family come to visit and stay as far as possible from that end of the room. I think they are afraid that if they mention Yeti, I will suddenly remember and cry. If I were nicer, I'd tell them that I am thinking of him already. But I let them suffer.

Bailey, how was shrek the third? My niece wants me to see it with her, so if it is good, I will pop some corn and have her over.

I've gotta say, I had a much better couple of days after joining BB and reading all of your words. It feels good to have people who understand, really understand, reach out. I feel it creeping up again on me, but the rest was so good. DH and I even had a nice supper out too without me crying half-way through. hugs, m

Hey all,

Mel - I have a sort of shrine too for storm, with her memory box and all that stuff, I have had a thing for butterflies since i put one at her grave, so they are everywhere around her memory box (& the house too! LOL!)

Lynn - glad you have got a good OB & the appointment went well

Spring - It's alright, I have a thing with needles too!:p

AuntieM - I'm glad being here at BB is helping you some!

Hello to everyone else!

Aunty M - big :hug: to you. I am so glad that you have found comfort in our little group. I know it helped me through the tough days and I also find that I am alot closer to these girls than friends I have had for years. I guess because everyone here 'gets' me and understands, whereas friends can only imagine and I don't even think you could imagine pain like this. I am sure Yeti will send you messages soon. It is lovely when we get messages from our angels.

Spring - you were right! I did get a giggle out of your needle story. You are so funny! I used to be like you (ok maybe not as bad ;) ) but I guess when you have the amount of needles I have had now, you get used to it. I hope you never have to go through that!!! I am glad that scan went well. I can understand how hard it is seeing lil Spring on the screen and it bringing up emotions of Harry.

Auntie M: I am so happy to hear that our little group brings you comfort. I am an addict, I tell you if I don't get my BB hit I get really anxious. Like Lynn said it is because the ladies here understand and you don't have to explain the way you feel, we just know exactly what you mean. It is also great that you managed to get through supper (we call it dinner over here in Aus) without crying. That may seem like a small thing but it is a huge achievement and shows that you are making small steps in the right direction.

Jo: I also have a bit of a shrine for Harry. It is in our bedroom and has his urn, teddies, a special box full of his memories, a necklace from Mel, some Police Recruit badges from his daddy. I kiss him morning and night. The other night I said to DH I want to put a blanket around his urn because it is so cold. I thought it might be a weird thing to do but DH said to do it because it felt right.

Lynn: I swear I admire you and the other ladies who have had to self inject, I don't know how on earth I would do it if I had to. I have to get my Anti D injection tomorrow and then hopefully that is it for a while.

Lv Spring

Hi everyone,

Spring - I just wanted to say that I have a little bunny rug wrapped around Asha's urn. It is one of those ones that has a little built in teddy on it. DS bought it "for the bubby" when I was about 5 months pregnant. I always have it wrapped around the urn and the little teddy arms kind of hug it. It kind of makes me feel like her big brother is looking after her and keeping her warm. A bit silly, but I too think it just feels right. I cannot believer your ticker...it is just flying. Only 100 days to go!

Auntie M - I too am glad that you are feeling welcome here. Like the others have said, I doubt very much I would have made it through the last 7 months if I hadn't found BB and these girls. Shrek was great, it wasn't as good as the 2nd one which I think is hilarious, but I really enjoyed it. I love kids movies, and was so excited when DS got the age where I can use him as an excuse to go to the movies and watch them.

Lynn - How are you feeling? Have you got any signs of MS yet? I am sure it will hit you like a tonne of bricks very soon.

Mel - Yep, I love kids movies, especially the Pixar and Dreamworks ones. How good are they? We have been watching Flushed Away alot lately, that is a good one too. GP visit was just so the doc could sign all the forms for the referral to the womens hospital, nothing exciting, oh other than a breast check. Lol.

Flowerchild - Yep, it is hard when you are constantly being checked up on isn't it? I actually ended up telling my mum today...while we were driving, which wasn't smart, lol. She is so excited, but knows me and my hate of fuss and attention well enough to not make too much fuss. I had to tell her, cos she was starting to harass me about where we were going to go on holidays this year (mum, DS and I usually go to Bangkok shopping at the end of the year) so I just buckled. It was never that I didn't want her to know, it was more that I didn't want her worrying about me worrying. She was so excited and just bursting but trying to hold it in. So I let her tell my aunties, lol, she really needed to get it out. It is actually a relief to have told her, now I know I don't have to pretend I am alright when I am not, and now its out, I can go and see my uncle about the NLP too, which I want to get into.

Hello to everyone else too.

Another horrible day today, though not complaining I promise. I am going to try some of those sea-sick bands from the chemist tomorrow and see if they help. Has anyone tried them before??

Hi ladies
AuntieM & avalanche - I am sorry to hear about your losses, this thread is a good place to be for support at this difficult time.

Lynn & Bailey - it is so good to see your tickers progressing nicely. Sorry about the m/s - my friend uses the sea-sick bands (she is 22wks and still has m/s) and she swears they have helped heaps. Hope they help you too.

Mel - I am sorry that it is still too difficult to pack up the nursery. As you say one day you will both feel like it and there is no need to push yourselves. It is a big step that you should only do when you are ready.

Klee - glad to hear you are getting reassurance from the signs you are seeing from Phoebe. I sometimes feel that I am a bad person for not having anything to remember Thomas except my memories (which unfortunately are all bad). Still thats my issue - just wanted to say it is so good to hear you ladies have shrines and memories for your babies.

Well I think I have written too much already so I will say good night to you all.

Take care, T

One word .....QUEENSLANDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! :confetti: