Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage or Loss October '08

Welcome to TTC after Loss or Miscarriage for those of you who have just joined us. We hope your TTC journey is quick and successful. We are sure you will find much loving support from the other women on this challenging journey.

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You will find the previous thread HERE

I'm first - yayayayayyaya

This is the thread ladies - BFP's all round !!!!

:bluedust::bluedust::stickyvibesgirl:::pink-babydust::pink-babydust::pink-babydust:

just wanted to shower this thread with positivity and brighter tomorrows
:goodluck::bluedust::loveshower::pink-babydust::pray: :stickyvibesboy::bfp::stickyvibesgirl:
along with lifting up daisies of courage and unwavering belief
lots of hugs!!

I think I need help!
I had a missed m/c in July. I had a couple of really hard weeks afterwards but then felt pretty ok for a while. This week I've hit rockbottom. I can't seem to lift myself out of this depression I feel and at the same time, really wish I could just snap out of it. I think about what happened ALL day! This last month we started ttc again. I was really hopeful as we conceived the first time last time but just got my period yesterday - so feeling really blah now! I can't help but feel that everything will be alright if I was pregnant again now.

I am really struggling with the news that other friends are falling pregnant - it is not that I am not happy for them (I am elated for them) but I don't react to their news the way a 'normal' person would and I really do not like that about myself - how do other people cope with this?? I feel really selfish and self-centred reacting the way I do - it makes the pain of what happened come to the forefront again when I hear them talk about their scans and symptoms etc. and I just can't deal with it. It seems the closer I get to what would have been my 'due date' the worse I get. My mum really wants me to get counselling - has anyone else seen a counseller after m/c and did it help?? I just can't imagine that there is anything that anyone can say to me that will make me feel better??

Sorry, I feel like i'm venting here and it's not a very uplifting post either! I just feel like I have noone to talk to - that the people around me expect me to be over it by now and don't understand the anguish I still feel and how/why I would still be so upset.

I would be greatful for any advice.

Thankyou,
Rachel

Hi Everyone.....

A new thread deserves lots of :bluedust::pink-babydust::stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl: . May we fill this thread with lots of BFP's.

Well back to renovation update...... We now have a sliding door to ....nowhere. (actually it will be to the ensuite) Dh has headed off fishing with a mate, (but his mate swears he will come in tomorrow and help do some work to the new room). He'd better or he'll have me to deal with....... It's good to see some work being done in the room. It feels like it's been forever since anything has been done.

AF has eased off with the headaches, so a couple more days and she should be on her way out the door (hopefully not to return for a long long time). :crossfingers:

Jen - take a little time over the weekend to have a rest - you've been so busy with school you deserve it. Sorry, still can't get java to work on this computer, will have to get my nephew over to have a look (he's quite good with computers, just have to catch him between work shifts

Angel & Megsmum - thanks for the banter the other day (i really needed that). I did something this afternoon that I wasn't proud of, but it was a case of survival and hopefully it didn't hurt this other person too much (I don't think she saw me). I went shopping with DS1 this afternoon and spotted my SIL sitting at a table with her two elder daughters and the baby daughter (this is the baby that was born when my little angel was due). Any other time I would have gone over and said hello, this time, I pretended that I didn't see them and kept on going. I could hear the baby crying and did my best to ignore her. It muddled me up totally cause when I went to the car park I turned the wrong way to look for my car and didn't even realise until DS1 made a comment that the car was parked the other way. I thought I was coping a lot better then that but obviously not.

I'd better get back to sorting out some more stuff that I really "might need later". Wonder how much I can throw away?????

rach78...... You will have your set back hun..... you will have days when the fog has cleared or is clearing... and other days when you can not seem to see because the fog is so strong...... This set back is probably brought on by AF...... when we put so much thought into... "i would feel better if i was pregnant again" ... and then cycle after cycle we arent pregnant..... it hurts hun... really hurts..... then we put pressure on ourselves to be pregnant before the EDD (expected due date) of our angels..... and then if that doesnt happen even more pain.

Try and just work through One Day At A Time hun..... dont try and justify the pain... or put goals out there that we have no control over.... just be hun..... just be. Be happy.. be sad.. be cranky.. be frustrated... be pi$$ed off.... Just Be... whatever it is you are feeling just let it be.

And remember something.... every single one of these amaizing ladies in here has been through what you have been through.... I lost angel twins myself.... we understand where you are at... and you can say and ask anything you want.... if you dont want to post then you are more than welcome to send a PM. You are also welcome to look through the web site below if that helps at all........I know it helped me to look at other peoples memorial sites... i cried a lot... and then cried some more... but it helped... its under the text where it says angel babies angel babies......

Mollycat....It was good yesterday... I laughed so much.... I completely understand trying to do the bolt... in honesty.. i would have done the same thing....I know deep inside that one day it will all be alright.. one day I will be able to hold a baby and not want to cry.... but until that day arrives.... i ll high tail it out of any situation I possibly can...

Angel - thanks. I guess I just needed that justification. What's really bizarre is that in a couple of weeks time I have a little one starting that was born just before mine was due. I know it's not going to be easy, watching this one grow knowing mine should have been "doing this or doing that" at the same time. Her mum is absolutely wonderful, she has lent me her shoulder many times over the past ten months. She brings her in now and lets me play with her and I don't have a problem with that (at the moment).

Rach78 - Angel's right - one day at a time. It's all we can do. As you can see by Angel's signature and mine, we've been here a long time, waiting for our miracle to happen. Remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve and no one here will blame you if you laugh, cry, or sob (or have an angel ugly cry) it's all normal. We're all here for you - at any time.

I hope everyone doesn't mind that I pop in so much. The truth is that I still understand everything you all have been thru and are currently going thru - those feelings will always be raw unfortunately for me even tho I have been blessed with a life inside me - I don't think I will ever forget them.

Having said that....

Rach - COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE wanting to be pregnant to help fix the void that your angel babies have left in your heart. The pain is so real that it's almost palpable. The frustration of wanting to get pregnant "yesterday" and still not being pregnant is so very difficult. I used to lie in bed at night and just concentrate so hard that a baby would just magically be in my tummy - crying silently so that my DH wouldn't hear me. I'm here with tears in my eyes just remembering the futility and hopelessness I felt at those times. I was so angry with the world and didn't understand why it had to be ME that went thru this pain. I had my really bad times and then my "i can get by" times, I was never truly happy. People would tell me not to think about things too much but it was an all-consuming thought, pre-occupation, obsession - there was nothing else I wanted to think about. What you are experiencing is real and you should allow yourself to feel it with no limits and certainly with no time limits. Take all the time you need sweet and stay here as long as you need. The girls here are just so wonderful and very dear. Chin up hun - u WILL have your little one.....

Mollycat - hun, don't beat yourself up about bolting and don't feel guilty for any negative feeling you may feel in the future. I don't think one can ever get over a m/c completely - things only become more manageable. I was surprised that I started tearing up when posting to Rach above. Goes to show that you can be UTD (and it's not my crazy hormones making me cry) and still feel those feelings - they sneak up on you when you thought all was ok. Big hugs sweetheart - i think your tops!

Hey ladies,

I have returned from my holiday! i had such a wonderful time, its just a shame we had to come home! Saw some wonderful sites, went up a few mountains :lol: and saw some snow!

This forum has been mega busy! i had almost a whole thread to caatch up on!

It has just taken me about half hour to get through it all, and i still cant remember it all to do persies!

Will try and do some later on, but at the moment i have a mountain of washing to get through!!!! Oh joy :wall:

Will log back on later and try and catch up properly!

xx

Good morning lovely ladies! I'm SO sorry I never got back on to do persies.... DF has been working on the computer, and I wasn't able to use it! They have smilies for being angry and throwing the computer.... they should have one where it's angry and throwing DF around for stealing the computer!! :lol: So I have about 4 pages of persies to read through, and this time I promise I'll be back! This is my quiet time when the whole house is asleep but me, so nothing will interfere this time! Be back soon! :pink-babydust: :bluedust: :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy: for the new thread!

hannah--This TWW is by far the quickest one ever! I never thought I would hear myself say that, but I'm certainly grateful! Thanks for asking! :hug: How's things with you?



21--Sorry to hear your DP may have to go to the Middle East for an army term. :hug: How long would he have to be gone? I say continue on with the TTC and just see what happens. You've got lots of time for a BFP between now and then! Hope the B6 helps, it did for me!



larz--Good luck with tomorrow's scan! :goodluck: Say hi to little Sofia or Sebastian for me! Enjoy your niece and her 1st B-day, sounds like lots of fun! :partysmiley:



megsmum--Cycle bud! Will be thinking of you today and :pray: for a successful IUI! Go Fred! :cheer: So happy you'll be joining me in the TWW!



WTH--Aww, hon.... sorry your results aren't what you thought they'd be! :comfort: Hope your BT goes well and your u/s on Monday shows some nice, healthy follies! Will continue to :pray: for you!

mollycat--You had me :rofl: with your :bluesperm::pinksperm: You, megsmum, and Angel had me ROFLMAO




And Angel, you had me :rofl: with

".....below is a rush of blue swimmers pushing past each other..... a couple of *cough* light blue swimmers are winking at each other saying... "ohhh what the heck" and skip off together.... a few pink swimmers pushing past the blue swimmers... and the rest of the pink ones sittin down below having a coffee and a chat saying... "i aint going there girlfriend""

:rofl: If I didn't know who wrote this, I would've known it was you! Even though everything's spelled correctly! :nahnah: It's so you!



Thanks you three, for making it more like it used to be around here! :grouphug:

jenushka--Cute ticker! FF says if I conceive this month my EDD will be June 26--less than a week after yours! I'm :pray: and keeping everything crossed! Great hcg numbers! :leap: So happy for you! :stickyvibesgirl:



Milla--I personally didn't see a therapist. I found all strength and support I needed from the girls I met here. I found it to be such a release for me to hear the stories of other's who had been through the same thing. There were times where I felt like my story paled in comparison to another's... although the girls here helped me to realize that a loss is a loss, no matter what stage it's at. I found it to be cathartic to try to walk other's through their dark days of grief.... to cry with them, and laugh with them.... it was a very healing experience. I became very dependent on this site and the friends I've made here--for me, they were my therapist, and continue to be! Only you know what will work best for you.... if you feel you need to talk to someone, then I say go for it. It certainly couldn't hurt anything. :hug: Wish you the best of luck whatever you decide. Remember that we're all here for you to help you through whatever you need!



joey--Hey stranger! How you doin'? OMG, over 7 weeks already! Can't believe how time flies! :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy:



Hey Tam! *waving* Sending you some :SAAF: vibes!

Easha--Sorry you missed chat.... plc and Krystie missed it, too, so you weren't the only one! Maybe next time! Hope today's temp is another high one! :pray: Remember, it only takes once! Hugs and :pink-babydust: for you!



Mannie--Thanks! :hug: Hope your cycle works itself out soon, I know how frustrating it can be.... you've been a trooper!



tutmae--Me? Create a culinary extravaganza? :rofl: That's a :goodone: My DF would get a good laugh out of that one! I WISH,(and I'm sure he does as well), that I could say I didn't come back due to creating fabulous feast, unfortunately it was just DF stealing my computer! :angry: *picture a jen smiley smacking around Mr. jen smiley*

Glad to hear you're finding your zen and being calm. ish. kinda.... (too cute! lol...) Hope the m/s gets better and stays away for good! Hugs and bellyrubs for you!



plc--How could we ever mind you popping in? :hug: You're always welcome here, you know that! Sorry you missed chat on Friday, you were missed! *kiss*



Welcome Rach--What you're feeling and experiencing isn't selfish or self-centered at all! It's a very normal reaction for someone that's experienced a loss such as the ones we've all suffered here. We've all felt that way, and there's days where I still feel that way! Please don't ever apologize for venting to us--we're all here to listen, cry with you, laugh with you, and support you! :grouphug:

Thank you tutmae, hannah, mannie, angel, tam83, ajc, megsmum for your words of wisdom. a big :grouphug: to all of you lovely ladies.

rach78 - I just read your post and I had to look twice to check if it wasn't mine. I feel the exact same way - all I want to be is pregnant again. I can't bear the thought of other women being pregnant. In fact, two of my best friends are pregnant right now, and we were all the same date. I can't face them as I would have before - it is such a difficult thing to see them, or just think about them. You know, when I have one of these "anger-frustration attacks" , I think about something I heard in a meditation CD: the "qi" (life energy in Chinese Medicine) can't flow if there is anger and frustration, the body has to be open to allow a new life to enter. So I try to take some deep breaths and focus on keeping my body open, getting the negative thoughts out. It doesn't always work, but at least I am trying to do something positive towards a :bfp:. I also find it soothing to take care of my nutrition by reading a lot about ways to enhance fertility by diet, and applying these principles. For example, I drink wheatgrass juice, and preparing this juice in the morning is like a ritual. It gives me a feeling that I am not helpless, that I can do something to get pregnant sooner. That way you get at least part of the negative thoughts out.

By the way, I asked the same question than you re counseling - I got a lot of answers from all the lovely ladies in the September thread. check it out. I've decided to give it a try, I have an appointment early November. Will keep you all posted.

A big :hug: to you

oups, forgot to mention jen in my thanks and grouphug :grouphug:

mollycat--You didn't do anything wrong... you simply avoided a confrontation that would've been sure to hurt you, so your mind went into self preservation mode. There's nothing wrong with that, you did what you had to do to stay in control of your emotions--I think it was a very mature way to handle a stressful situation! :hug:

Going to try to forget all about 6th grade fundraising for the weekend! I was able to get another mom to help me out with making some phone calls and scheduling volunteers for the various booths that will be going during the carnival. Unfortunately, this whole next week is parent/teacher conferences, so it's minimum days all week long! :o That cuts my days down by 2 hours, so I won't get nearly as much done.... kinda stressful with the carnival being next weekend! But seriously, trying not to stress out about it too much this weekend--my brain is fried!



Krystie--I'm :pray: you kick this m/s bug soon! My thoughts are always with you and little Chyan! :bellyrubs: and :stickyvibesgirl:



Angel& AJC--Thanks for the chat on Friday and for making me laugh! I really needed it! :grouphug:

Angel, words can't express how happy it makes me to see your posts again! :hug: Love you Nuff! *kiss*



Toccara--Haven't heard from you in a while.... hope you're well, and enjoying some time with your DH this weekend! Big :hug: for you!

Thanks, Milla! :hug: Good for you for being so proactive in attaining your goal--you're such a trooper! Hope you're enjoying your weekend!



Me--Had a slight temp drop yesterday, and a nice increase this am... :pray: yesterday's dip was implantation! Today is also THE day.... it's the day of the return of my lunar phase.... so going to give Dr. Jonas a little test to see if his theory really works.

"The calculator produces dates and times for your lunar phase returns, when the current phase of the Moon repeats the phase at the moment your birth. According to the discovery of Dr. Jonas, if you want to use the increased fertility that, as he found, accompanies this moment, you should have an intercourse in 24 hour period preceding this moment." The date it gave me was Oct. 12, at 4:09 pm... which means today beginning at 4:09 pm... and calendar says girl! :crossfingers: :pray: Looks like DF's getting lucky tonight! Time to pull those BD shoes back out of the closet!

Hen (this was actually a mistake but I guess it's a combo of Jen and Hun and also is appropriate cos you are a bit of a mother hen on this thread - I'll try it a bit and see if it sits - lol!!) Aren't you clever to have worked out your lunar phase. I so hope it works. C'mon you and I know that those BD shoes are really BD cowgirl boots ;) Go get him girlfriend!!!
I really missed you guys last Friday - the mind and heart were willing but the body won out in the end. Big hug to you for the lovely support you are!

Thanks, plc! :lol: I guess Hen is appropriate if only due to that "cool chick Jen" pic that Krystie made of me! Do you remember that one? :rofl: I'll have to e-mail you the one that she edited of me with Angel and Krystie! It's hilarious!

Here's hoping that Dr. Jonas knows what he's talking about! :crossfingers: I'm really :pray: it's true, especially after issy saying it worked for her every time! Krystie's been too sick, but I'm waiting to hear from her whether it worked for her, since she was going to give it a try that month that she fell pg. Working on his theory already! Already got my boots on! Yeeeeeeeeehaw! ;)

Good luck in this thread everyone! ! ! :poschart::fertilise::pink-babydust::bluedust::SAAF::noaf:

Jen - was lovely to have a little chat. lol at your thoughts of a new emoticon for throwing DH/DF or similar. he he he. I almost did that yesterday, had to throw a tanti for DH to mow the lawn. It was getting soooo long, I know we've had some rain but geez the place was looking like a jungle. All done now though & the emoticon would have come in handy then, he he he.

rach78 - the ladies in here are FABULOUS!! Say whatever you need to say because someone in here will understand and be able to help make you feel normal, and when you feel normal you do feel better. It's a tough tough journey and I wish no-one had to go through it. I find for me that it was the ladies in here who made me feel better, and time. It doesn't get easier but you just seem to learn over time how to handle your emotions. It's gutting when it feels like everyone around you is pregnant, try not to be too hard on yourself though. Don't feel selfish about your reaction, to be jealous (although completely happy for them) is totally NORMAL so don't think there is anything wrong with what you are feeling. Good luck and I promise the ladies in here will make your ttcaml journey (which I hope is really short) as nice as possible through their support..... and once you get to know them whacky sense of humour.

larz - 1 more sleep to go! ! ! ! Good luck - as soon as you see that little heartbeat you'll relax and just enjoy the rest! ! !

mollycat - I have so done that before too. It was earlier this year and I saw a friend out shopping who had just had a Bub. I saw them from a distance so just enough time to walk in the other direction. I felt really but about it but as you say, self preservation. I'd seen her heavily pregnant just before christmas and literally bumped right into her so no avoiding it but it was a bit awkward. You gotta do what you gotta do. Big Hugs.

Anyway - the shower is calling me, lazy day today. Can't wait to see lots of BFP's in here! ! ! Sending all of you all the luck in the world.

Dear Angel, Mollycat, Plc, jen, Milla and Ajc.....

Thankyou dear ladies for making me feel so welcome and comfortable to talk here, I already feel a bit better for it.
It is comforting to finally hear that what I'm feeing is normal, that it is ok to be feeling the way I am with no pressure to be any other way. It's the first time i've felt normal (whatever that is!!!) for a while. I can accept the pain, face it and know now that I can move on from this place that I am in right now, when I am ready too (and not a minute before!). Reading your posts has already made me feel stronger, and seeing that a couple of you are expecting little one's, well that is the best news I could hear right now!

Milla, thankyou for pointing me in the direction of the September posts, I will have a look there. You seem like quite a resilient woman, you have inspired me to try and look at the positives and have reminded me that I need to look after myself!!! I totally understand where you are coming from, not being able to face your friends the same way you once would have. After posting for the first time here last night, one of my sisters phoned me to tell me that she is pregnant! it couldn't have happened at a worse time (the phonecall, I mean) and I sobbed and sobbed on the phone to her even before she told me her news. My other sister is also pregnant and due 3 days before what would have been my due date. These are my sisters and i can't bear to talk to them at the moment. I could tell that my sister didn't really want to tell me her news last night, and she cried and told me that she was hoping that i was going to tell her that i was pregnant too! That was hard, I want to be there for my sisters and support them and be happy for them, but can't control the way i'm reacting to their pregnancies. But I'll get there, I know.....

Angel, thankyou for inviting me to look at your website. I must admit that I cried the entire time that I read through it but you come across as a truly inspirational, brave and strong woman. I love the 'shoes' poem, I have printed it off and will keep it with me to remind that i'm not alone....

Thankyou again to all of you, I leave here feeling much happier than I was yesterday.
I feel that this is going to be a great place to be......


xxxxxxx

rach - Sorry for your losses. :hug: But welcome. You'll find the ladies here fantastic (I think you've already found that out). They were the ones who told me that what I was feeling was okay. Once I gave myself permission to feel what I was feeling I started to heal.

Its tough when those around you are pregnant. Just be honest with your sisters about your feelings and when you're ready you can deal with their pregnancies. My cousin is due 4 days before I was and I haven't even spoken to her yet. But there's a whole history there which I won't go into. I just want you to know that the mixed reactions in you aren't unusual and are perfectly okay.

mollycat - Glad AF is finally easing up on you. Isn't renovating fun? *sarcasm* Its exciting when stuff gets done but there seems to be so much waiting on trades people.

plc - Of course you're welcome here. You remind us that it is possible. Hope all is well for you. :stickyvibesboy:

jen - :crossfingers: you get your BFP this month. Things are good with me this week. DH and I have been focused on "reconnecting". Last month wasn't a good one for me and I think I neglected him a bit and treated him as a means by which to get pregnant. But things are really great between us at the moment - the temperature is just right for making babies. ;)

milla - Congrats on taking the step to seek counselling. I hope it helps you.

Hi to tutmae, dellydoo, easha, fifi, joey, jenushka, mannie, angel, megsmum, ajc, tam and anyone else I have missed.

lots of :bluedust::pink-babydust::stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy: for the new thread

Hi Ladies,

Sorry for the lack of persies, Im afraid its back to uni for me and the work load is INCREDIBLY HUGE!!!!! So this will have to be short and sweet so I can get back to it (yuk....and its a Sunday too :rolleyes:)

So...here is a HUGE :grouphug: for all you lovely ladies, I hope you are all doing well.

Although I tried to convince myself not to ttc, I have decided to keep trying. Im not expecting any miracles, I still have a long way to go to get my body in order, but we'll try anyway and cross that bridge when we get there. Also my lunar cycle is in sync with my menstrual cycle, so my best shot is this month....and Im taking it! 18th October is ov day, so iif im a bit quiet in here.....you know where ill be...;)

I started the macca powder last week too...GROSS! Oh the things we do!

Love to all you gorgeous girls, Ill try and get back in here for persies soon.

Issy

Thank you smi, mollycat, Mannie, easha , angel, joey (yay for seeing little aussie's heartbeat!) for your congratulations and kind wishes:hug:

jen - your chart is looking so hot right now, I swear it's about to go triphasic. How exciting! Oooh, the 26th June .... would love love love to be belly buddies! :goodluck: and :crossfingers: that the bd boots and/or Jonas come up with the goods for you!

Milla and rach78 - I see that the ladies in here have all given their opinion on the seeing a counsellor topic and I have to say that I found myself in pretty much the same boat as them. Being a part of this forum was the most healing place for me so I found myself coming here to talk about the pain that I was feeling, and got an incredible amount of compassion and support. I was given a referral by my gp, then by my ob to a counsellor, particularly after the loss of my second angel this year when I was finding it a bit longer to get back to "normal", but never found myself making an appt. I actually did see one of the free counsellors through work but that was a pretty useless experience - what AJC experienced was exactly the same thing I did - I started talking and blubbed my way through an hour while she just stared at me and I wound up feeling worse. I was hoping to get some coping strategies, but all I got was a handout on grief and loss as I was leaving! I think the main aim is to find someone who specialises in our type of grief/loss - you'll also know if their good if you walk away feeling better. Good luck with whatever you both decide.

wth - I am so sorry to hear about your bt results. I hope you are doing ok there.... how is dh recovering?

megsmum - go fred! Hope everything went well - it was today wasn't it? Can't let fred get away from those :bluesperm: (complete with sat nav of course!)

plc - thank you for your positivity and support. Please never stop popping in here. And omg - 27 weeks!

Easha - wow - you are so 2ww strong! when are you poas? Those temps are looking amazing!! :crossfingers:

afm - well, the state of pure positivity, strength and zen-ness lasted about 48 hours! Got a couple of very small bits of spotting over the last couple of days - am pretty sure it is implantation spotting with Bean snuggling in tight, as I get it on the day AF would be due with every pg. Still pretty freaky though (spotting = BAD after a m/c) but think I am doing a lot better now, as it seems to have eased up . Just took myself off to bed for a day just in case ;) Also took another hpt this morning and the test line was as dark as the control line - very reassuring.

So am now zen. ish. kinda. (thanks tutmae - fits me perfectly!!)

Hugs, hellos, babydust and stickyvibes to Hannah, dellydoo, AJC, fif, larz, ruthie (how are you?), toccara, krystielove, and anyone else I have probably missed!!

xx

my gosh - the temp is up again this morning and the BB's are getting sore - I so dont want to jinx myself so must keep quite :shhh: and hold on another 24 hours or so. The temp tomorrow should be even more interesting. :pray::crossfingers::noaf:

HannahD - So hard waiting on the "tradespeople" when we're "IT". We're doing this bit ourselves (as much as we can). We had a builder in earlier this year to do an extension and that freed up a room (the old kitchen) which we are converting in to a bedroom, next to that was a bathroom (we're turning that into an en-suite.) DH works for a plasterer (his boss owns two different companies), so hopefully he'll come in and do the internal walls for us (should only take a couple of hours), but we'll need a few others to come in and do some bits for us - the rest is us on weekends. We both work long hours through the week so that's mainly impossible (I work from home).

Easha - :crossfingers::pray: for another high temp tomorrow. You're doing so well holding out on a POAS. Your temps look great. Hope for you a BFP is on it's way.

Jenushka - all the best with bean snuggling in really tight. It's always a worry, and I think we worry so much with every little niggle. Rest up and enjoy the next nine months.

Krystie - hope the m/s doesn't last too much longer. Miss you round here.

Joey - hope little aussie is doing okay. I remember reading you saw a little heart beat. That's wonderful.

I'd better go and finish getting tea organised for my lovelies. I'll try to pop back in later.

rach78 - don't be too hard on yourself. I can only imagine how it must be for you to see both of your sisters pregnant. It hurts everywhere, your stomach is tight and all you want to do is cry. But don't forget - your time will come too, and meanwhile, let the negative thoughts overwhelm you, acknowledge them, take a deep breath, and send them away, one day at a time. One day it will be easier than others, but know that you are working on it, creating a welcoming body and mind for your baby to come. I have tried out some meditation CD's and they have been quite helpful to me (I found a website on the Internet where you can actually download them to your iPod). I'd love to give you the site, but I think the guidelines don't allow us to post any links - maybe one of the more experenced ladies can advise how to get the information across to you?

I've only been here for a week, and I have got so many encouraging and welcoming words here, it's really an amazing experience. I am sure it will be the same for you.

A big big :hug: and don't forget: let the qi flow;)

A :grouphug:to all you lovely ladies out there!

Hi ladies,

i see a couple online, is anyone in chat?

Hi and :hug: for AJC! *waving* :stickyvibesgirl:



rach--Ouch, that's a tough situation you're in with your sisters... :( I agree with Milla that you should face and acknowledge your feelings, really deal with each aspect of it, and then it will be easier for you to... I wouldn't say let it go, but you'll be able to face your sisters and feel happy for them, instead of feeling overwhelmed by sadness and jealousy. You really have to acknowledge these feelings, and know that it's ok to feel that way, and know that your sisters understand that while you're happy for them, you're not in a place at the moment where you can celebrate with them yet. You'll get there, it just takes time.... :comfort: We'll help you get there!



hannah--I think it's awesome that you're focusing on reconnecting with your DH. :thumbsup: My DF used to complain that he felt like a sperm donor, and I was much less inclined to want to do anything other than when I was fertile.... and he was right, but that's just the place I was in at the time. I've learned to try to spend as much time with him when I'm NOT fertile, that way he's more likely to want to participate when I am! If the temps right, I hope you've got your BD'ing shoes on! :bd:



issy--Yay for your lunar cycle being in synch with your menstrual cycle! :dance: That means you've got a very high probability for conception this month! :hooray:

Hey fifi! Sorry, I just got your post! I was in the middle of my post when my DS woke up a little bit ago, and I had stepped away from the computer. Didn't get your messages till I sent my post through. Are you still around?

yeah am still hear lurking :dance:

Hi ladies
Have not been around for a while so will try to catch up later.
Milla- Glad you have decided to try counceling, didnt myself but thought about it. Hope it helps.
Rach78- Sorry you are having such a tough time, know how hard it is still feel the same at times myself.:hug:
Jen- :crossfingers: you get that bfp this month
Jenushka- Rest up and take care:hug:
Joey- So glad things are going well for you.
Fifi- Glad you enjoyed hols.
Easha- :crossfingers: for you
Big hello to everyone else ive missed
AFM- af 8 days late poas 2 days late bfn so dont know whats up seems to get later every month.

Rach78- I know how u feel! I have had one loss and been trying for 2 years with no success! everytime i get AF i cry on my partners shoulder. My EDD is coming up in november and i dont know how to deal with it. I hate seeing pregnant women although i know its a terrible thought. my friend was preg at the same time as me even though she was on the pill and that hurt more when she gave birth recently. Im currently waiting on my AF (2 more days) and i dread it. I'm currently also in "a hole" and hate the waiting game and think its one more day closer to taking a baby home. just have a good cry and get some junk food thats what I do!

Jen805- Hi there im going to get the B6 once auntie flow starts on wednesday. and I dont know how long he will be gone, they dont tell you! approx 3 months i think, well he thinks so not toooo long i guess compared to some other soldiers. Anyway have a nicer day than me!

mollycat - Congrats on doing the reno work yourselves. DH tried to do what he could, but always complained that he never had the right tools. I'm happy to wait for people if they do a good job (which they all have so far) and its still much quicker than it takes DH to do. LOL

jen - oops!:redface: I just realised temperature was probably not the right word to use here. Would climate be better? I meant to say that with things between DH and I being so healthy and loving, its got to be good for a chances of conceiving this month. I promised DH that I wouldn't get too obsessed and start charting. It is tempting though, to have that daily ritual.

HannahD - that's exactly why I insisted on a builder to the extension. It would have taken us forever. DH wanted to do it himself but I wouldn't let him. I've been very tempted to ring the builder back and get him in to do this room but I know we can do it cheaper and it's more satisfying.

Hi ladies...

I'm 28 soon to be 29 - Arghhhhh! I have a wonderful partner Scott who is 32 and an amazing 4 yr old DS from my first marriage and 2 gorgeous step DD's from my partners first marriage... We are TTC our first, my second and his third!

I had a missed miscarriage diagnosed on the 30th of September at 9 weeks and a D&C performed on 2nd October. It was really hard and our hearts broke but I was encouraged by everyone to grieve the way I needed to and all my feelings were validated - by family, friends and medical professionals - the nurses and doctors were brilliant and I think it's because of this that I have healed so well...
We have the go ahead to start TTC again but we are going to wait till the next cycle...
As much as I want to be pregnant again, emotionally I'm not ready. Each day is getting easier and better so I figure by next cycle we will be ready and we will just take this month as it comes...

It's still sad and I still shed a tear but I am holding up pretty well...
It's pretty frightening thinking about TTC again - what if the same thing happens but I don't let myself ponder it. I'm staying positive that I will cope and everything will be fine! :pray:

Anyway, looking forward to sharing our journeys together and getting to know you all...
:hug:

missbec....... take it easy on yourself...... it is only the 13th October today...... so your D&C was 11 days ago...... I m thrilled that people around you encouraged you to greive and heal at your pace...... but dont rush it. Dont do what I am normally so guilty of doing..... and thats thinking everything will be fine and pushing myself to keep going.... I ve learnt that you need to be kinder to yourself... you need to let yourself heal and not rush it.... Just Be..... Time is the healer..... One Day At A Time..... I say this over and over and over again to ladies in here... and I sound repetative at times.... but it is the best advice I can give you.... Allow yourself to be.... what I mean by that is BE cranky..... BE sad.... BE frustrated.... Yell... Scream... Cry.... whatever... it doesnt matter.... Just BE........ Then take it one day at a time and one day soon the Fog will lift and you will know in yourself when you are ready.... BUT take it easy on yourself.......

Now thats 3 new ladies in as many days and I wish like hell I could close the doors on this thread because no one needed it anymore.... but the sad thing is that as one person leaves another one or two.... or three join..... So MissBec... welcome to our thread..... I wish you didnt have to be here..... and I hope your stay is a short one..

Hi Angel - thanks for the welcome..

I am definately taking it one day at a time. I can't afford to push myself because I have to be ok to look after my DS... I let myself feel what I need to, if I need to cry, I cry - if I'm cranky then I be cranky but I always apologise lol...
I'm one of those people that need to be organised and have a plan...
Which is why we have discussed the next cycle already but with the understanding that if neither of us are ready then it will be the cycle after that or so on...

I can't believe it has only been 11 days! It feels like so much longer...

Big hugs to you all and lots of :bluedust::pink-babydust:
:stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:

MissBec - welcome to the thread. Like Angel said I so hope you don't get to stay here very long. Our biggest wish is that we can close this thread down (we've actually got somebody standing by the door ready to turn out the light). I'm glad you found us cause the ladies in here are so supportive (we've each been through the same - or similar). There's plenty of shoulder to go around and lots of hands to hold.

all the best with your journey. Any time you need to vent - remember one of us is always here.