Now before I start. I want to make it clear I'm not looking for a heated discussion. So please be respectful with your words.
I have this inner battle on a daily basis that I'm somehow not doing enough for my kids. We don't suffer from intolerances not even food colour or sugar issues so our food is very much "old fashioned". In that I mean I don't cut out fat, sugar, colourings. We aren't lactose free, dairy free, soy free, gluten free etc. We got lucky when it comes to that stuff. I don't like things from a packet. I am cheap and I don't like additives. But not so much to say I could tell you them by number. Just enough to know if I can make it from scratch without adding numbers instead of ingredients I'll do that.
But I struggle. I struggle with the idea how I feed my kids is bad. Not saying that's a label that anyone has given me just sometimes it's how I feel when I see how others feed their kids. And it's as though I'm poisoning them slowly or something. Again this is MY baggage, not blaming anyone... just my paranoia.
So our diet? On a daily basis there's fruit, sometimes dairy, sometimes baked things, sometimes crackers (that's probably the only bought thing you'll find snack wise in my house at any given time). We have take away probably once a month or less if I can help it. And they'd prefer sushi over macca's (but then my brain goes... BUT IT'S GOT STARCHY WHITE RICE *DUN* *DUN*). I use full fat milk, butter, olive oil and vegetable oil. We use raw sugar, white sugar and brown sugar. White flour mostly. My kids, I believe have a pretty well rounded diet. They are healthy. They don't fight to eat fruit or vegetables. They drink water or milk and that's it (and more water than not). But I have so many friends who's kids aren't allowed colourings, sugars, fruit (because of sugars), dairy, wheat etc and not due to any intolerances either just because they believe it's poisonous to their children. Which I totally understand. But then I sit there all poisoning my kids (again this is what my brain says... no one has ever implied this, ever.) and think am I bad to feed them what I do? But the thing is my kids eat everything. And most of these kids won't eat what's put in front of them even if it's fruit or vegetables. I don't know how the parents do it.
So tell me. Given what I've told you about what my kids eat. Am I poisoning them? I worry they are going to grow up in this society that views food in a very different way to what they have been exposed and some how suffer as a result. I see 13 year olds portion controlling, and cutting back on carbs to prevent bloating and my brain just zaps out. My kids eat what they want when they want. As long as it's balanced I'm happy. They even pass on dessert if they are full. So surely that's a good thing right? RIGHT? Is diet the new way to determine good parenting? Am I destroying my kids with poor food choices?
My opinion is do what works for you. I restricted certain foods for my son when he was under 1 as I believe he doesn't need sugar (i.e. cakes/lollies). I still try and limit them a bit (he's not 2 yet).
We've been lucky so far with no allergies so our eating habits sound similar to yours. We do our best as parents, but it's also ok if our children grow up with other opinions. My parents were into "food combining" (not mixing starches with proteins) when I was a teenager. They claimed it made them feel better, but once I left home I went back to combining everything (I missed having cheese with pasta/pizza etc!).
So if your children end up eating differently when they leave home, don't beat yourself up In the meantime, enjoy the fact that they eat what you cook. The less stressing over food the better, I reckon!
And something I forgot to mention, I'm not really saying I have to follow the flock or anything like that. I'm more just asking... Is it possible to be healthy without cutting everything out? Or am I really just fooling myself? I've read a lot of articles and there's no definitive answer other than artificial is bad. And too much or too little is bad for us.
You are so not poisoning your children. Considering how damn unhealthy our children are compared with earlier generations and the very real possibility that the generation we are raising are going to be the first generation for hundreds of years to have a lower life expectancy than their parents I think that an old fashioned diet is very possibly a healthier diet than a 'modern' one.
Cutting out foods just for the sake of cutting them out is bull****. If it fits your macros eat that shizz. Cutting out fruit because of the sugar (in the absence of a diagnosed intolerance) is utterly counterproductive from a health POV. Fruit is packed full of trace nutrients, vitamins and minerals. The benefit of a diet with lots of fruit outweighs any supposed harm from the sugar.
Maybe I'm getting old but I can't even keep track of what is poisonous any more.
Well if you are poisoning your kids then I am too I am aware of what they eat for sure and we do have a reasonable amount of packaged foods, but when you look at what they eat over the course of a day, then they don't even eat much of that. I think there is a lot to be said for eating whole foods and eating in a more traditional way. And no matter what type of food you cook or eat, you still need to eat it in moderation. that's where the harm is done, eating too much of anything is never a good thing.
We are doing the full elimination diet because of extreme allergies, and we have just passed the dairy & gluten tests so they are back in, but before we started this crazy diet ours sounded close to yours. I used to buy crackers, a few of those tea biscuits that are barely sweet at all (and they were a treat), pretzels and mayo, and a few other things from a jar (which I never really even thought about until I had to do everything from scratch), but that was about it. My kids ate weetbix & milk (with a tiny sprinkling of sugar or honey) for brekky, cut up veggies for snack, sandwiches normally with tuna for lunch and more veggies, and fruit for afternoon snack. Dinners weren't my best because my kids grew more and more picky, but they would polish off a big salad at dinner, and even when I made home-made pizza once a week I still considered it healthy because I knew exactly what was on it - fresh pizza base without a lot of added junk, tomato paste, cheese & fresh veggies. Yeah it has white flour, and all that, but If you have a balanced diet I really don't think it's such a problem, but I'm not a health nut. We used brown rice, but I buy sushi every so often and I don't care!
I hate being on this diet, I've out on weight, and I'm eating so much more unhealthily because of the lack of veggies (leek, cabbage & potatoes only), and a whole lot more sugar and baked stuff (like pancakes everyday for the kids because it was the only thing they were eating when we were gluten free).
Even though before I was doing sugar free, it was for me only (not the kids), they still got their treats on the weekend, because once a week isn't a problem in my book. I didn't care how much fruit they ate as they don't have a weight problem, so they only sugar I cut out was in processed foods (surprised and how much sugar is added to simple things like pasta sauce, but then again I always made my own anyway), so it was mainly cakes and sweets which I could do without anyway.
I don't get the need to do extreme diets for dieting sake. I have an allergist, paediatrician and dietician involved, because I seriously believe you can't cut out this many food groups without medical supervision (things like monitoring my son loosing weight and working out how many calories he is having each day etc). As much as everybody goes on about a gluten free and dairy free diet for autism spectrum kids, there is not a lot of scientific evidence to support it, and as the paed said, don't just stay on it because you think you should, do a questionnaire before and after and actually evaluate behavioural changes, and if there is no difference, it is silly to cut those things out. I have found no difference (but I know he reacts to preservatives and colourings)... I just don't get people doing fad diets cutting out stuff myself, and especially not to growing bodies.
I'm sorry, I've been rambling. Your kids eat a great variety, they get what they need, and if sushi is the worst of what they eat then you don't need to worry. If they lived on sushi 3 times a day forever then you might have problems... Everything is about moderation. And your kids aren't picky and eat your amazing cooking so seriously you are doing a good job!
How did your brain get to "poisoning"?
I've only cut things out because they make DS and DH sick! I wouldn't do it for some philosophy. And salt, sugar and fat are highly underrated foods, in my opinion.
I do have an anti-fruit bias, though.
If we were all eating natural whole foods cooked from fresh base ingredients, we wouldn't *need* to otherwise be cutting out on sugar and salt and fats.
I think you should move next door to me and cook for my family too.
Everything in moderation is my motto. I do have a child with a strange dairy thing going on..so that is a no go for him and only him.
I was bought up on the everything in moderation, looks like what your kids are getting to me. If that is not right, then I am doing something seriously wrong.
For those who've mentioned elimination diets and intolerances. I get that. It's more the people who believe we as a race are intolerant. Not case by case. That's when I start to question. Not defensively, and only neurotically occasionally. I just don't want to be ignorant. But like I said everything I've read is inconclusive.
I'd say you're doing fine - I hope so, cause I feed my DD the exact same way! She eats everything, whether its healthy or sweet. My motto is 'everything in moderation'. I don't see the point in cutting things out just for the sake of it.
Oh Rouge I could have written that - my problem on top of what you wrote (because out diet here is very similar) is that I have trouble getting veggies into DS on top of all that - so I definitely feel that as well. They eat heaps of fruit and any fruit, all meats, wholemeal bread, pasta, rice, like yours, love sushi - if we do have takeaway tends to be indian or fried rice type stuff, etc. but I have so many friends doing paleo (all that grain and wheat will kill ya) sugar free (all that sugar will definitely kill ya) etc. and not from intolerances but just lifestyle choices.
I do feel that it's definitely the new "in" thing to be eating "clean" - but I try and remind myself that my kids have a relatively balanced diet, I hide veggies as much as I can for DS to get them into him but it's still hard because every second thing you read tells you something different. I just remind myself I also know people who have kids who will only eat "yellow" food - like cheese, nuggets, pasta etc and are only now at 5-6yrs old introducing veggies and fruit so I tell myself things can also be much much worse!
Diet wise, it sounds great! But I think what is important is their overall view of food, and it sounds like you've got that covered as well. If they're not eating out of boredom or using food as a crutch, I reckon you're winning
Oh wow it sounds like you're doing a wonderful job!!!
There is way too much information for the average mother to sift through if we were to be 100% confident out kids were having a perfect diet. We would all need to be nutritionists to understand it all!
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How we feed our kids.
In the meantime, enjoy the fact that they eat what you cook. The less stressing over food the better, I reckon!
I am aware of what they eat for sure and we do have a reasonable amount of packaged foods, but when you look at what they eat over the course of a day, then they don't even eat much of that. I think there is a lot to be said for eating whole foods and eating in a more traditional way. And no matter what type of food you cook or eat, you still need to eat it in moderation. that's where the harm is done, eating too much of anything is never a good thing.
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