Changing a child's name

[allycat06]

I have a male friend everyone calls Ally (full name Alistair)..I've never really thought 'oh that's weird he has a girls name.' I think Ally is an awesome name (it's my name too!)

[mrsmac]

TBH in all my years of teaching I have never heard a child teased about their name and there have been some pretty unusual names. Since Australia is such a multi cultural country children are exposed to a wide variety of names. Has he been teased ? Why does he think he might be ?

[Traveller]

yes he has been teased, only a little but it really hurt him. He used to have longer hair and he loved it, but he asked for it all to be cut off because his classmates said they couldn't tell if he was a boy or a girl because he had a girls name and a girls haircut (he had neither in our opinion). He still occasionally gets an older child laughing because he has a girls name, and the doctors receptionist has called him a girl a few times despite him standing there looking very much like a boy. I know kids will be picked on for every little thing, I just feel that at the moment we are handing ammunition to them on a plate.

Having spoken to my OH overnight he is now in agreement with me, and we are going to go with the suggestion (from Sneaky I think, I can't see the older posts right now) to just revert to Alexander on his schoolbooks, coatpeg, etc, and to let him choose whatever variation of that name he likes when playing with his friends and at home. He is still insistent today that his name is Xander, so as long as he is happy with that then so am I.

Thanks for your input everyone

[KitFaerie]

My DH did something similar, just tell the teacher's that Xander is his nickname now, and the kids will follow soon enough, plus any new people he introduces himself to will only know him as Xander so there won't be a problem!

[~ Mylitta ~]

A lady I used to work with has a son called Alexander, and I have only ever heard him called "Xander" and I thought it was a fantastic nickname

[turtleschell]

I changed my name in highschool and still use that name today. It's easy, though he should be prepared for a few idiotic remarks during the transition period (ie childish peers deliberately calling him Ally to irritate him etc)

[Sunny Love]

I think you should leave the name as is, as long as you DS is content and happy socially. Why should he change because of this society?!? I understand where you are coming from though. I think you're belief that he can control this and change if HE wants too is great. It's showing him resiliance, yet also independence to make important decisions. It could be worse, you could've named him D'Weazel or D'Rascal! (Twin boys I taught!) hehe.
I think when he gets older Ally (a name I also like for a boy) might become a name that identifies him strongly from the rest of his cohort

[krysalyss]

We have scottish heritage and have both Alexander and Alistair (and Alastair!) in our family. But Ally was short for Alistair and Xander short for Alexander. I like Xander a lot! I have thought about what my DS will vary his name to. It is a little eccentric so he has a lot of play with .

[{sarah}]

I think reverting to Alexander on everything would be the safest bet & tell the teacher his current preference, you never know he might change his mind a hundred times!!

Our Alexzander is nicknamed Zander and it suits him so well. The other options we had thought of (because we aren't fans of Alex so much) were Lex and his great-grandmother said in Germany he would have more than likely been called Axel. For the moment he is happy with Zander but we'll see as he gets older.

[Traveller]

I think reverting to Alexander on everything would be the safest bet & tell the teacher his current preference, you never know he might change his mind a hundred times!!.

This is what we have agreed to, so we will wait until he enters grade 1 and let the new teacher know just to use his full name. This way he has more flexibility. Thanks everyone for your advice

[Kmn]

Unless he is actually changing schools at the end of the year then you might be better changing names on things now - so his peer group doesn't have another half year to get their teeth in to "Ally", and also so that when he says to them "I'm Xander" he has something to back him up.

[misty]

I was thinking - could you just change it to 'Alexander' and that way people can choose what they like - whether it be Ally or Xander? That way, if he changes his mind again you wont have to change anything

Yep to this.

My DD has her full first name on everything. Angelica. But she is called Jelly by most people, even her teachers.

My son's; Nathaniel (Nate) and Sebastian (Baz / Seb); will be the same when they are school age. That way they learn there 'real' name, but are also able to remain flexible with it and change or adapt as they wish as they age.

Just wanted to add: My brother has always been known by everyone as Jordan (his middle name) the teachers would learn very quickly not to call him Martin (his first name - our father has the same name) because he just wouldn't respond and would get angry if they did.

I think what you are talking about though really is a nickname (a shortening of the name Alexander) and shouldn't have to be specified.