That's OK Lulu.

The reason I didn't ask for opinions is that I kind of know what we want to say to her but I just wanted to make sure of some facts first.

Started writing what we would say to her but it all started getting too long!

But basically, I agree with you - it's a tough balancing act between not being blase and not being seen to facilitate her having sex while at the same time being realistic about her particular situation and the fact that we think that she's already sexually active (DP has a good enough relationship with her to be able to ask that question, not sure he'll get a totally honest answer but he's gutsy enough to ask at least).