My DD did ballet/jazz and the concerts, performances, exams are all optional. They do encourage you to do the extras but don't enforce it. We only did the end of year concerts. The classes were geared towards the performances, but she still enjoyed it.
I would just ask around as not everyone is so competitive.
I think it definitely depends on the school. I started dance when I was 5 and it was just called "creative dance". There were end of year concerts but no extra cost to participate in them. All costumes and props were handmade by volunteers - when I was older my parents were best friends with the teacher/owner and her husband so a lot of stuff was made out in our shed, it was a lot of fun! But as for being in the concert, sometimes kids had other important things come up, and sometimes it causes anxiety and so they're not forced into it. When I was older I helped teach the younger students and did the concert with them, so they could remember steps and feel better about it. And it definitely made it fun!
About the teaching style, I noticed some schools can be pretty strict and I was surprised. When I was teaching it was all about the movement and the fun. But DD went to a 3rd birthday party at a dance studio 2 weeks ago, and I enquired about classes. They start at 2 years and even at that age they're expected to stand still and quiet, learn positions properly (this is ballet), and there's running and playing around. Parents can't even watch! If DD was older I might consider it, but I think the introduction to dance needs to be fun. If I were you I'd be looking elsewhere and not worrying about if that's considered one of the 'better' schools - it might be better when they're older and want to do exams, but you can always switch if/when they want to get more serious.
there's a school we took our girls to called 'glittery tapping wonderland' in melbourne. it was totally awesome and all about fun while learning the positions etc. for the little kids they offered ballet/tap and as you got older (ie school age) you could branch into jazz, hip hop etc. they also held adult classes in all of it so it was super fun!
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