DD's getting AF how did you cope? What to do to prepare?

[entreat]

what great ideas! I got mine at a friends house on sleep-over. Luckily my friend already had hers & there were supplies & an understanding mum. But otherwise, it wasn't talked about at home. I actually sent away to one of the brands for a sample pack (they're free & they still do it!), so I had some stocks.

[fourthontheway]

My daughter is 11.5 and very pubescent, no bleeding yet, but soon I expect. A celebration is a lovely idea! you could also do some retail therapy of cloth pads or disposables if that's what you want to use - but the cloth ones are so pretty they're special ykwim? I am planning on buying my daughter a red or a moon pendant too.

Awareness and openness is the key I suspect. Instead of buying books and reading them with my daughter, I bought them and left them for her to read with the understanding that she could ask questions if she needed to. That worked well, it saved her from embarrassment, and also made her see that it's just not a big deal so she felt comfortable coming to me with her questions.

[Cassius2]

one of the things that made it easier for me when i first got AF was the sense of belonging. like others have mentioned my mum and my oma 'welcomed' me to the world of womanhood and celebrated and cherished the moment for me. i have to say that i felt a lot of mourning when i first got it as i felt i had lost my 'childhood'. but being able to see that i was entering a transition of change towards a new phase really helped...

*but luckily no AF parties here either...one of my mates had to endure one! *

[Lulu]

omg - who was invited to the party? Were there red balloons everywhere?

[Cassius2]

omg - who was invited to the party? Were there red balloons everywhere?

no red balloons...but lots of cake LOL! it was all her family and family friends ROFL! they made her get dressed up all pretty and make a grand entrance down the steps LOL! she said she was sooooo mortified LOL! i can't imagine having to go through that!

[Lulu]

omg - how much therapy did she need???
I hope she can laugh about it now lol

[Mildez]

OMG Thats almost like a debuton (?spelling) ball style. I would be mortified also. I wonder how she will educate her daughter/s?

[Cricket]

I got a book just the other day from "American Girl" called "The Care and Keeping of You" It is GREAT! I was starting to think about this the other day. My oldest is 6 right now, but I want puberty and periods not to come as a great shock to her. Like some other moms out there, mine didn't say much. I hid my period from her for quite a while, sneaking pads and washing my undies by hand before putting them in the laundry. I felt really embarrassed about the whole thing. I don't blame my mom, really - I could have talked to her. She's a good mom. But I want to do better for my girls. Anyways, all that aside, this book is EXACTLY what I was looking for. It covers body care from head to toe - hair washing, brushing, teeth, skin care for teenagers, deodorant, shaving arm pits and legs (only if you want to!), buying a bra, different types of bras, and info on your period, pads, and tampons. No sex ed, which I'm glad about. I'll talk to her about that myself. The book is full of really nice illustrations - very friendly and easy going in tone and style. I definitely recommend it!

[Mildez]

I have never heard of an AF party till this thread. It was so tabo in my family. Something never to be spoken so much to the fact that I didn't tell my mother for almost 2years when she accussed me of been late to develop (pads came from my sister and my friends mother whom if she knew my mother didn't know would have called and told her. She assumed she was buying me a few with wings as my mother bought the cheapo's) I would be devastated if my daughter didn't feel she could tell me. I was so upset I got mine so I don't want my daughter's to feel like that.

Lulu thinking back on my own experience as you can see there was a huge communication problem between my own mother (she was raised my nun's after been taken from her parents at 5yrs so I don't blame her from having no concept of how to prepare us) but I certainly can't follow in her footsteps so to speak or even ask her for any advise. She would still tell me its not something to be spoken about. I asked my daughter a few little questions yesterday to clarify her knowledge (I asked her if she remembered what a period was and why) she knew what it was, when she could expect it, what to do etc but didn't know why women get it. I very briefly explained about been able to have babies in which she got excited about but until I meantioned babies she was covering her eyes and said she doesn't want to talk about it. I think she knows more then she lets on.

[Lulu]

So do the opposite of your experience then. . I didn't tell my mother either, we were arguing alot and it felt like she was embarrassed to talk about it as well.