Hey Fiona, that sounds more than reasonable to me darl. Sorry to hear you are feeling quite stressed about this and that your DH avoids making a definite decision.

Have you asked your DH to realistically think about where everyone will sleep after DSD comes out? It sounds like he is responding emotionally to her as his daughter whom he loves etc, and not with his practical hat on at all. The other thing for him to realise is that if she comes too early, before your living situation is able to handle it, the situation will go pear shaped very quickly and you may be sending her back to the US earlier than she really needs to go just to retain your collective sanity. She could come out in Feb or March and still enter Year 10? It might mean missing the first few weeks (sorry I don't know when school goes back), but it could buy you another month or two to be that much closer to having that bedroom back online.

Perhaps you could suggest a three way phone discussion with DSD, she has a right to know about the living situation she will be moving to and you might be able to at least inform her of the potential difficulties. From an earlier post I read about your DSD, she sounds like a reasonable person (even if she is a teenager ) and she might help your DH see that it's not really workable for a few more months after Christmas.

Good luck darl. I hope you start getting some discussion of the issues with your DH soon.