DSD Potentially Moving Out To Friend's And Friend's Parents House - Could This Work?

[fionas]

Right now Limeslice, no she's not our absolute top priority. I'm disabled and I'm pregnant and I don't want to lose this baby. Go figure.

We can't force her to come to Woodend. What are we meant to do - tie her to a chair? Because that is what it would take.

And FWIW - SHE wants to move to her mate's house and the mate's mum wants to have her.

DP moved out of home at 17, I moved out of home at 18. And we supported ourselves.

[Mum2Romone]

QUOTE : Right now Limeslice, no she's not our absolute top priority. I'm disabled and I'm pregnant and I don't want to lose this baby. Go figure.

wow this is such a horrible thing to say , maybe if she were your daughter, you'd have time for her. ????

my brother thought he was old enough to move out and moved in with someone who led him down the wrong path, If you and your husband arent there to guide her , do you expect this other parent to take over?

I feel for Fiona as my mum too had many sleepless nights worrying about what to do about my brother. Her solution was to let him go So she didnt have to deal with it. 9 months later Hes into all sorts of crap and has had 3 car accidents driving around with the morons he lives with. Once they are gone, thats it, They wont magically see the light and be good and come home. You are letting her out in a world that its obvious she isnt prepared for yet !!!! and hanging up your step parent gloves , from where in sitting..... You will only have many more sleepless nights worrying about her once shes gone !!!!!!

[Winter]

wow this is such a horrible thing to say , maybe if she were your daughter, you'd have time for her. ????

Umm, any chance you'd like to come back in with your Belly Belly hat on and start again? There are ways of saying things...looking forward to Take 2.

[fionas]

Hooley Dooley mum2romone you clearly have never read any of my numerous threads about my stepdaughter or my current health.

Lulu yes the very same hairdressing friend who is actually lovely but now can't buy more supplies for her little business because stepdaughter owes her so much and she was silly enough to trust her. We're having her over tomorrow to try and sort something out.

[Lulu]

Fi, as I speak - the daughter I locked out of my house for 2 weeks as a consequence of her crap behaviour - is at her Yr12 formal, in a stunning dress she paid for herself, in a limo and with her hair done (paid for lol) and on her way to studying medicine at Uni.

SDD will survive - however she does. When she leaves she will start writing her own book. It will be hers, with all her choices laid down in back and white. She knows she has a warm home to return to if she leaves and things go bad, and she will be able to make the choice for herself. She has options, many kids don't.

[Roryrory]

Fiona, teenage girls can be complete scrags. My year 10 co-ordinator said to my mum that girls can go off the rails in mid-late teens - all you can do is wait.

Fi, as I speak - the daughter I locked out of my house for 2 weeks as a consequence of her crap behaviour - is at her Yr12 formal, in a stunning dress she paid for herself, in a limo and with her hair done (paid for lol) and on her way to studying medicine at Uni.

Sounds like your wait paid off? My mum's did too

F her off out of the house - she has had her chances. I think a dose of dealing with people who are not family (and by that I mean people who will not put up with the same degree of your crap as your parents) will be good for her.

I know this is harsh but I have seen too many people have allowances made for them all their life. Yes she is still a teen, her brain isn't fully developed yeah, yadda yadda yadda. Well 17 year olds have fought wars, ruled countries, raised families, emigrated to foreign countries, raised siblings. She isn't a baby.

[Roryrory]

double post!

[Mak]

I know this is harsh but I have seen too many people have allowances made for them all their life.

I would tend to agree - but if she is screaming out to be treated like and adult then perhaps a dose of the realities of this will help her adjust the inappropriate behaviours. I have several people in my extended family that have always had allowances made, been bailed out and are really just 40yo kids. One of the biggest issues for me is going to be raising my girls to be adults who can be independent individuals. Give her the independence she is demanding/craving but the cons with it as well - so paying your own way etc. I think if you let her know you will have her back on a set of terms anytime you have done the best you can.
Take care - she is old enough to learn about consequences. xxxxx