How much does your 10-11 year old do for themselves?

[Beatrix]

My 9 year old does all that apart from putting her hair up.. Well she can do that but it's not very neat.

[HotI]

my 3.5 year old can do 6 of the things on the list. I would expect most kids to be doing them.

do you think she can't, or didn't want to

[nothing2lose]

Yep, DD can do it all. Sometimes I give her hair a good brush to get out all the knots (she has very long, curly hair).

[Tinks]

A bit of both HotI.

I think there's something going on with her.

[myturn]

DSD is 11 and has been able to do those things for a long time. I think it would be a good idea to go to your GP and get a referral for a paediatrician and/or psychologist for assessment. It may be there are some strategies that can be advise that could help her learn these things best. You could also ask at school if they have any concerns. Has she been on school camp? Could she do them there? If so, then maybe its just a matter of behaviour management stuff?

is hard when you are not sure what is going on.

[trishalishous]

my 3.5 year old can do 6 of the things on the list. I would expect most kids to be doing them.

do you think she can't, or didn't want to

same here.

[*Efjay*]

Posting partly to sub & also a little to share..

As most know I have 5 kids & of them 3 (boys) are Dx with Autism. My 11 yr old boy, the oldest struggles with the shower, teeth brushing, finding clothes etc. A big part of this I believe is his ASD. Anxiety also plays a big part. He Can turn on the showers but is scared he will burn himself with the hot water if he does it wrong. He also has a helplessness issue. I can't remember what exactly they call it, but basically he is in the mindset that he needs help with these everyday self care things. His ASD/Anxiety makes this hard to "teach" him otherwise.


Now, with my daughter who is 7, she also can not do most on that list & we do have concerns & plans for assessments with her. She is stubbon as all hell & while she loves her girly girl ways like having long pretty hair. She refuses to brush it, wash it, tie it up etc. It drives me insane. I can't quiet put my finger on what is going on with her. I believe it probably will be another ASD dx.
One of the things that stood out for me in your post (9th dec) Tinks, was the school bag. DD went though a stage of loosing her shoes. She would have them when she came from class at pick up, then between the pick up meeting point & walking to the car she "lost" them.. She would stare at me like I was an idiot & just claim she has no idea where they are.. This has happened in the shops, at netball, at school (several times). She had stuffed them down the drain once, put them in the bin, simply let them come off her feet (slip ons) as she walked (at the supermarket, and it was only 1 so she was walking around with 1 shoe till I noticed & the shoe was an isle & half back) all the while claiming it was "just gone". Im pretty cold hearted though & I refused to believe she lost them. I mean how they hell do you loose a pair of shoes? So I always made her go back & get them/find them.

I asked her day why she keeps doing it & turns out, the velcro on one of them that held the strap wasn't holding that well & kept coming undone. So rather then tell me it was coming undone she seemed to think if she lost them she would just get a new pair.
Is there any reason your DD might have an issue with her bag? 4 in a year is a lot & I do wonder if she is doing something with them because she has a problem with the bag. She may not understand what the issue is herself but like shoes, you don't just loose a school bag. What ever is going on for her, try not to get mad or angry at her as frustrating as it is, because she simple may just not get it & that is not her own doing. I do hope you can find someone who will take your concerns seriously.

I have umm'd & arrr'd about DD for some time now but my gut tells me come when she is about the same age as your DD, she will fall to pieces. My OT who I play netball with also, mentioned to me on the side (she knows of my concerns) that she was watching her at netball the night the family came & does agree that I should have her assessed. Our first step is pead, then psych to establish if these are learned / coping strategies (having 3 brothers on the spectrum is hard) or if this is another Dx waiting to be had (OT thinks this is likely) & then OT assessments.

Are there any other area's that you think are a little odd?

[*Efjay*]

Posting partly to sub & also a little to share..

As most know I have 5 kids & of them 3 (boys) are Dx with Autism. My 11 yr old boy, the oldest struggles with the shower, teeth brushing, finding clothes etc. A big part of this I believe is his ASD. Anxiety also plays a big part. He Can turn on the showers but is scared he will burn himself with the hot water if he does it wrong. He also has a helplessness issue. I can't remember what exactly they call it, but basically he is in the mindset that he needs help with these everyday self care things. His ASD/Anxiety makes this hard to "teach" him otherwise.


Now, with my daughter who is 7, she also can not do most on that list & we do have concerns & plans for assessments with her. She is stubbon as all hell & while she loves her girly girl ways like having long pretty hair. She refuses to brush it, wash it, tie it up etc. It drives me insane. I can't quiet put my finger on what is going on with her. I believe it probably will be another ASD dx.
One of the things that stood out for me in your post (9th dec) Tinks, was the school bag. DD went though a stage of loosing her shoes. She would have them when she came from class at pick up, then between the pick up meeting point & walking to the car she "lost" them.. She would stare at me like I was an idiot & just claim she has no idea where they are.. This has happened in the shops, at netball, at school (several times). She had stuffed them down the drain once, put them in the bin, simply let them come off her feet (slip ons) as she walked (at the supermarket, and it was only 1 so she was walking around with 1 shoe till I noticed & the shoe was an isle & half back) all the while claiming it was "just gone". Im pretty cold hearted though & I refused to believe she lost them. I mean how they hell do you loose a pair of shoes? So I always made her go back & get them/find them.

I asked her day why she keeps doing it & turns out, the velcro on one of them that held the strap wasn't holding that well & kept coming undone. So rather then tell me it was coming undone she seemed to think if she lost them she would just get a new pair.
Is there any reason your DD might have an issue with her bag? 4 in a year is a lot & I do wonder if she is doing something with them because she has a problem with the bag. She may not understand what the issue is herself but like shoes, you don't just loose a school bag. What ever is going on for her, try not to get mad or angry at her as frustrating as it is, because she simple may just not get it & that is not her own doing. I do hope you can find someone who will take your concerns seriously.

I have umm'd & arrr'd about DD for some time now but my gut tells me come when she is about the same age as your DD, she will fall to pieces. My OT who I play netball with also, mentioned to me on the side (she knows of my concerns) that she was watching her at netball the night the family came & does agree that I should have her assessed. Our first step is pead, then psych to establish if these are learned / coping strategies (having 3 brothers on the spectrum is hard) or if this is another Dx waiting to be had (OT thinks this is likely) & then OT assessments.

Are there any other area's that you think are a little odd?