She's just hard to deal with sometimes and very hard to predict. She loves a food one day and hates it the next so it is impossible to buy food for her knowing she won't complain about it, so we basically ignore her and buy what *we* like since she's going to complain about it regardless. Been happening for years and years, nothing new.
Tonight I gave her a tiny amount of dinner. She wanted it with her multigrain toast, she got it with pasta like the rest of us and was told if she wanted more she could have it with toast. Remember how I said she loves multigrain bread?
Well she doesn't want it anymore (she's been after us to buy her multigrain bread for over a year, we were putting off buying it for her for reasons that will become apparent later in this post), she wants white bread, she couldn't explain why something she's been wanting for so long she doesn't want anymore. This happens a lot - she pesters for ages for something and as soon as she gets it she might eat it once if we're lucky and then it sits in the cupboard untouched until it expires and we throw it out. Every now and again we relent and get her something she is particularly keen on and the same thing happens. She couldn't explain why she didn't want multigrain bread anymore beyond "I really really like it but I've had it now and I don't want it again" and we were pushing for an explanation of why she always does this so she hit me quite hard.
I hauled her off to bed (its 7pm). She is now slipping notes under the door saying I don't understand her. No, I don't understand her.
She hasn't hit me for ages now - she's sworn at me a few times, slammed doors, smashed things, but its been a while since she last hit me. But I do hear her little sister from the next room crying out "don't hit me" and she's been pinged at school for hitting so I know its not just me.
Argh! Talk about turnaround after last night's effort ...
Tonight at dinner time (we had leftover stew) she commented on how delicious the dinner was and how anyone would love it because it was so good, she sat up straight and ate nicely without poking at the food or messing with her hair or fidgetting or waving her legs everywhere, and we had delightful dinner banter with a cheerful smile about what she did at school today instead of the usual sullen whining about how disgusting the food is. Basically the Perfect Tween in every respect, picture perfect out of one of those tossy parenting magazines.
She is currently complimenting me excessively on the pumpkin scones I made this afternoon, which she asked me very politely for for dessert.
Ok, who kidnapped my daughter and replaced her with this little angel?
Wow. Sounds like she might be starting puberty with all those mood swings I know she's only 9.5 but do you think that might be a possibility? I started puberty at around 10-11 and had af at about 12. Alos, it sort of sounds like maybe she has body image issues? The not eating sounds quite worrying. Does she get picked on at school or something like that?
Actually this is really very normal behaviour for her, irritating as it is. She picks something to be progressively more obnoxious about (this week it was dinner) and escalates it until someone snaps (me or her) and then everything is good again. Sometimes it is short cycles like this one, with her general behaviour it can go in phases several months long, and just when you're on the verge of wringing her neck she is suddenly the Perfect Child again.
She's had food issues before though. They did "healthy eating" at school some years ago and for the next 2 years she got completely OCD about visible fat in food, so it was really hard to get her to eat chops or steak but really easy to get her to eat stuff like crisps or cheap sausages that are just soaked in fat but you can't see it.
I don't think she's going to hit puberty any time soon. I think I was 15 or 16 when mine hit. She's about 4'6" and 30kg, tall and skinny but well proportioned. I haven't had a comment about her being fat or ugly for quite a while now thankfully, she did have a brief phase of saying she was fat. She's absolutely gorgeous, she's really starting to look like a young and very attractive adult now (I know I'm biased as her parent but other people back me up too), and quite the reverse of being picked on at school - she has a fan club of boys who think she is beautiful and goes through "boyfriends" at an alarming rate for someone so young. She's quite peculiar so all her friends say she's weird but they don't pick on her. She's actually far more likely to be picking on THEM, she can be very mean.
Not sure if this is going to set her up to be more or less prone to eating disorders when she's older and puberty DOES hit, to be honest.
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I know she's only 9.5 but do you think that might be a possibility? I started puberty at around 10-11 and had af at about 12. Alos, it sort of sounds like maybe she has body image issues? The not eating sounds quite worrying. Does she get picked on at school or something like that?
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