Argh! I hear you - not that I am any way near having to deal with in!
I think trust your instinct but if it was me i would come down hard. That way you always have scope to loosen up later and after proper adult discussions with him about it.
That's what I am thinking. Will need to discuss it with DH as what we will do but for starters no computer or phone and most definitely no going anywhere tomorrow.
Not sure on just how hard to come down on him yet...
I would say it once. Like you have, he knew he was doing wrong & he lied. Don't be angry with him. Just play it up how sad it makes you that he disrespected you so much to lie like that
It's such a hard balancing act. We've been to hell and back with my eldest DSS who is 15 now. I won't go into the details, but let's just say that at his worst it was the hardest thing DH and I have ever had to deal with.
On one hand you need to deal with the current issue, but at the same time you have to learn to pick your battles, and not only that, you have to somehow allow him to build that trust back with you. If that's been about the worst thing he's done (so far, lol, sorry) then perhaps you can tell him that he can't go out tomorrow as that is his punishment for lying and purposely doing something that you had told him not to, but that he is allowed to have someone come over to your house to hang with so that he can prove to you that they can do the right thing.
We found that my DSS was better when we actually gave him a little more freedom and let him make some bigger choices for himself. It often backfired on us, but the tighter we tried to hold the reins, the harder he tried to fight us and break the rules. He was also much more hostile toward us (and even his brother) when we were stricter, but when we eased up his whole demeanor changes and he was more pleasant to be around.
Unfortunately for us things ended up going from bad to worse. It had a lot to do with the crowd he hung around with, and also the fact that he has a diagnosed social disorder (ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome). After major intervention we moved him to a specialised private school (bye bye $$$) but it has made him a totally different person and he is a million times better now. He still makes some normal 15 year old boy mistakes from time to time, but the cost of the school was nothing compared to how it's helped him and us
Best of luck with your son. I hope that's the worst things get
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