I knew this was coming but at 12???

[*LittleMissSummer*]

My mum had a rule in our house which was no boyfriends until we were 15. Because then we were old enough to have a relationship and understand what it means to have one. We were also old enough to go on dates and what not. She also had another which was no sex until we were 18 so then we were old enough and mature enough to deal with what comes with sex but of course me being me i didnt abide by that rule

I think in this situation let her know that you are open to the idea as im sure at this age they wont be doing anything. And just let her know that you trust her and so she will come to you if anything happens (he pressures her for sex or that sort of thing)

Hopefully it is just one of those 'my friends are doing so i want to too'

[Fleur]

I think it's pretty normal at that age... I think having an open relationship is the best thing you can do. If she can talk to you, you're off to a flying start.

And I agree that telling her she doesn't need a boyfriend to validate herself is important. I told Panda that whatever she did would ultimately be her choice, regardless of what I wanted her to do or what advice I gave her...but that I wanted it to be her choice. Not something she felt pressured into either directly or indirectly. (That applied to pretty much everything, not just boys / sex etc. I gave lots of advice & we had rules yadda yadda but there's only so much you can legislate with teenagers )

Ummm, on the subject of sex... please don't shoot me, I know she's only 12..... But both of my older kids know where the condoms in the house are. FWIW I think 12 is waaaay to young to be having sex... but not too young to be laying the groundwork for discussions IYKWIM? I think (JMO) by raising it earlier it's easier to talk about later on.

Also, another thought - sometimes it's easier to talk about what others are doing, rather than what they are doing. I have learned lots like this

ETA - I don't mean that at 12 you would expect that there would be anything like that going on. But TBH it was only a couple of years later for the kids in my circle of friends, and in my daughter's. So I tried to get in early. Hope that makes sense.

[Tinks]

You're completly right Fleur. I don't want to make rules that she will inevitably break. She's a social girl, always organising outings with her friends after school and going to friends houses etc. All I really want is for her to know to stay true to herself and not buckle to pressure, either from boys or her friends.

I remember what it was like in year 7, and like PZ said, it was all pretty innocent really. Part of me is happy that she's adjusting so well to hig school then the other part is saying 'NO, you're too young, stop'!!

Efjay, you're right, it will run it's course. They'll probably break up next week over something stupid.

PZ, 12 years goes in the blink of an eye

lalalalalaal Efjay! NOOO I don't want to hear that

[*Efjay*]

lalalalalaal Efjay! NOOO I don't want to hear that

LOL sorry

[Tinks]

Well the relationsip is over. He broke up with her via a FB message

She doesn't seem too worried

[*Efjay*]

When I was 12 (11 also) we use to "pash" lol. Mind you the friends I had in our street where a little wrong side of the tracks. BUT even though it was more then handholding & pecks on the lips with a giggle here & there.. By the time I was 13 I was quite the prude. Ahhh But then at 14, my boyfriend was ...... ewww wait for it.....20. Mum was really good about it though. I doubt very much she approved BUT I think she had learnt from my older 2 sisters that if she tried to step in the way & put an end to it, I would go behind her back. I probably wouldn't have to be honest. BUT my older 2 ran off/moved out when rules they didn't like got forced. So Mum played it cool. The relationship lasted 2 years! He had even proposed LOL. Man I look back at hat & just think how yuk it was that this MAN was interested in a 14 yr old. But I guess it only lasted till I was 16 because by that age, he was still just like a 16 yr old & well I wasn't I have always been beyond my years & by 16 I was beyond him. So moved on to my now DH who was 24. Poor Mum, my boyfriends just kept getting older LOL. But hey, here we are 15 years on... 8 years difference in age meant nothing then, means nothing now. Actually, it was probably a good thing. I was 16, not really into the party/get drunk thing yet. DH was 24, just getting out of that stage. So that stage never actually happened for me. I have been pretty tipsy but never blind drunk. Never smoked pot etc. I think Mum got off pretty lightly LOL.