I knew this was coming but at 12???

[Fleur]

I think it's pretty normal at that age... I think having an open relationship is the best thing you can do. If she can talk to you, you're off to a flying start.

And I agree that telling her she doesn't need a boyfriend to validate herself is important. I told Panda that whatever she did would ultimately be her choice, regardless of what I wanted her to do or what advice I gave her...but that I wanted it to be her choice. Not something she felt pressured into either directly or indirectly. (That applied to pretty much everything, not just boys / sex etc. I gave lots of advice & we had rules yadda yadda but there's only so much you can legislate with teenagers )

Ummm, on the subject of sex... please don't shoot me, I know she's only 12..... But both of my older kids know where the condoms in the house are. FWIW I think 12 is waaaay to young to be having sex... but not too young to be laying the groundwork for discussions IYKWIM? I think (JMO) by raising it earlier it's easier to talk about later on.

Also, another thought - sometimes it's easier to talk about what others are doing, rather than what they are doing. I have learned lots like this

ETA - I don't mean that at 12 you would expect that there would be anything like that going on. But TBH it was only a couple of years later for the kids in my circle of friends, and in my daughter's. So I tried to get in early. Hope that makes sense.