Low Self Esteem

[Willow]

Nic, I don't have older kids so I'm not much help with advice but I just wanted to say IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

I had shocking self esteem as child and teen. I mean really bad. A few examples - my mum has a huge family and family get togethers terrified me as a child. I would spend the day literally holding on to my mum and hiding behind my her skirt. When I was older, if I was out with friends and we were having lunch, I'd make them order my food for me, I couldn't talk to the person behind the counter because I'd wonder what they thought of me and what I was eating etc etc. I remember my parents being told by my high school history teacher that even though I was at the top of the class academically, she rarely called on me during class because I would react so badly to it, I couldn't handle being the center of everyone's attention. I'd go bright red, look down at my desk and mumble the answer. It was really awful and made my life miserable for soooo long. For me, I think it was mainly about being overweight, particularly as I got older (I wasn't overweight as a child), because once I made up my mind to fix that (when I was about 17) it truly was like I was a new person and since then my self confidence has just grown and grown. People who've known me for years always tell me it's like I'm not the same person, and I really feel like I'm not. But I'll always be a shy, reserved person, some of us just are.

It had absolutely NOTHING to do with my parents or the way I was raised. My parents are fantastic and I love them to bits. Now that I have children of my own, I admire the job they did with us even more because they were young parents; 18 when my sister was born, then had me 2 years later and my brother 2 years after that. My brother and sister were the opposite of me growing up and were very outgoing, confident kids.

Just let him know often that you love him and think he's a fantastic kid!