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Thread: At My Wits End

  1. #1

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    Default At My Wits End

    Today has been a real shocker. I have been quite ill for a number of days and have now been diagnosed with a major throat infection. Then I find out our eldest DD has been stealing again (previous posts in teenage section ) Her boss/friend told me that another friend was missing an Ipod and that DD has it in her handbag. Also that DD has stolen some body jewellery from another friend of hers. Then tonight I had to take DS2 to the hospital and it turns out he has chicken pox. OMG I just want this day to end.

    I don't know what to do anymore about DD. I'm so sick of all the drama. We have told her that we don't know if this other lady is going to call the police but I don't think she even cared. She sat there nodding her head but with a stubborn look on her face so I really don't think anything got through. I mean if she keep doing it she could end up in juvie. I'm scared now to let her go anywhere in case she takes something. She knows it's wrong but it doesn't seem to matter.



    What do I do now???

  2. #2

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    Firstly

    I have a friend who was in a similar situation as you last year with her Dd but unfortunatley it didnt work out well sorry to say, but they left it too late and admit now that they should have sort out some help earlier.
    I think she probably needs professional help, maybe a counseller or someone to find out what is going on as sometimes it is a cry for help in one way or another.. Im not aware of the full story, does she sell the items? Is she doing it for the money or just because she can?
    Sorry i am not much help, i hope things improve for you, teenagers can do your head in.

  3. #3

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    She isn't trying to hide stuff very well is she? Does she want to be caught? Maybe, I don't know.

    I would try and completely change tactics - she is expecting the 'talking to', the dissapointment, the lectures.

    Whatever you are doing, turn it on it's head. Hold her close, go into her room later on in the night and speak to her like you would MY dd, not your own.
    Write her a letter telling her the things you like best about her.
    Go to her school and get her called into the office before lunch and run away with her for the afternoon. Get your eyebrows waxed together, take her to a cosmetics counter for a makeup session, or for a pedicure. Recognise she is a young lady and treat her like one - even if she doesn't deserve it right now. Give her something better to aspire to than 'misunderstood teen' (oh how they love that tag!).

    She's a new butterfly right now - she is testing her wings out. Oh lord they (their behaviour) can be ugly sometimes - shake it up, change what you are doing, anything to get her out of the current mindset. She is your very first girl, remind her of that xoxoxo

  4. #4

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    Sorry Lulu, I can't do any of those things with her at the moment. It would be rewarding her behaviour that she so far has not acknowleged as being wrong. She has not said sorry, she has shown no remorse and I was the one that had to face the lady that she stole the ipod from. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. Sarah had not only stolen this ipod from this lady's 8y/o daughter but she didn't even look after it and it was all scratched on the face of it. She also changed every setting on it and changed the owners name from this other kids to hers. They double checked it via the serial number though. And to top it off she stole $10 out of my purse again the other day. She has not learnt a damn thing. I think i'm going insane.

  5. #5

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    Does she have a job? I used to take money from my parents but when I got a job, I suddenly understood the importance of saving etc.

    Just a thought. Hugs to your ds too. I hope you all feel better soon.

  6. #6

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    No Arcadia she doesn't and she really doesn't want one either. She blames us because she doesn't have a proper CV, we have offered to help her with it but she just couldn't be bothered. We have also told her that if she steals from an employer that they will have the police charge her no matter what. She is bone lazy and just wants a job to drop in her lap. Well one did and she couldn't be bothered going for 3 days out of the 5 she was offered. AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH (major hair pulling out)

  7. #7

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    I think you need some kind of outside support here. I am not sure who, maybe a councillor. Perhaps try Relationships Australia for some advice? Good luck, it cann't be easy for you.

  8. #8

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    thanks misty but she already has a counsellor (not doing any good tho) and we have a referral in to a specialist paed who hopefully can organise a group thing with a psychiatrist and who ever else she needs. It's just really tough waiting it out

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