I wouldnt introduce the monster spray or any other monster specific protection. To say they dont exist and then have monster spray is a bit contradictory and if they are already worried about the presence of monsters I would think its just going to confirm that they are real.
I would keep re affirming that monsters arent real. The do not exist and there is nothing to be afraid of.
The books and movies, I think, are ok. Many books and movies are about make believe things, the important thing is to know the difference. I would point out that cars dont have eyes or talk, animals do not not talk like us and monsters and fairies are pretend.
I would be having some discussions about what it is that's happening when he's in bed that makes him scared. (For eg, our DD was scared and it eventually turned out that her nightlight cast moving shadows because of the colour-changing bit rotating). Instead of just saying monsters aren't real, explain about stories and how people have invented monsters to make their stories more interesting. Also, explain about dreams. It's hard to tell a kid that monsters aren't real because if they are in your dream they sure seem pretty real. So a talk about dreams and how it seems real but it's just a kind of story that goes away when you wake up. Talk about the nice dreams he has. Talk about when he's going to bed, he can think about nice things that make him happy and that will help him to have nice dreams. Talk about how nice his bed is and his bedroom and find out if there is something he could have that would help him feel happier. It might be leaving the door open a crack, or leaving a very-low wattage lamp going, or listening to a story or some happy music while he falls asleep.
Thanks so much for the thoughts and opinions ladies.
I understand what you're saying, my very first way of dealing with this was to assure him that monsters are not real, that they are make believe in stories and movies. I have sat with him whilst playing the game and discussed this also. I have assured him he can feel safe in our home and come hop in our bed whenever he feels necessary. He's an emotional (almost) 6 year old about to embark on a huge year and as much as he understands what i'm saying bedtime has still been a little tricky... I see the contridiction in saying monstors are not real yet providing something to keep them away but if it provides some sense of security for him and it's harmless i still just might try it.
Marydean i had actually thought about trying to explain a little more about what dreams are for him and how to make himself wake up if he finds it happening (i still do this occasionally myself) i just haven't had the right moment to do so yet. We've still had a few worries at bed time but it's easing slightly. I made up the spray yesterday and so far we've given a quick spray before bed but we're not placing that much emphasis on it.
The boys have the light on to go to sleep but we turn it off once they are asleep, i've tried leaving a night light on before but i've found the shadows cause just as much of an issue. The door is never shut. We are reading stories before bed and lots of gentle words and reasurance when needed. If i think back to when i was a child and how i would have liked to have been comforted with such an issue, i think i would have liked 'something special' to believe in that made my 6 year old imagination feel safe rather than not. We'll just keep working our way through this
Thanks again ladies it's great to be able to think these things through and get a few other ideas. I really appreciate your help
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