Sex education for junior primary kids

[briggsy's girl]

i tend to agree with Onyx - being a teenager is a very long way away to a five year old, and explaining it now rather than hiding it from her may actually help her to see that not everything relating to bleeding means illness/death. it might help her to put some things in perspective and make normal events (like AF) seem less scary for her

DD has asked why mummy bleeds (we have sliding doors to the ensuite and she just walks on in, so i've given up on the privacy thing!) - i told her that mummys tummy gets ready for a baby to grow in there like she did, and when there is no baby, i have to get rid of the stuff in there that the baby doesn't need - and that's how it happens. she was older when we planted her placenta under her tree, so we talk about how she was joined to me via her belly button to her placenta, and when there is no baby there, the bit that the placenta joins on mummy has to come away. some of it is probably a bit more complex than she is ready for, but she is putting the bits together a little each time i bleed, and she remembers enough to not be freaked out by it and to ask questions to answer her own curiosity, so we just run with it. i also tell her that, given that she is a girl, it will happen to her one day too, but she shouldn't hope for it to happen too soon, cos it's not much fun. when she asks me when it will happen to her, i refer to a bigger kid (for us, it's her cousin, but for bilby, perhaps you could reference the biggest kids at school or the kids that go to the high school) and i tell her i don't know for sure, but probably when she's older/bigger than those kids. given af didn't start for me til i was 16, i won't give her a specific time frame!

i know it's not easy to answer the questions, especially given the mumma instinct to protect our kidlets from subjects that seem to grown up/advanced/scary/overwhelming for them when we think it through with our own knowledge base - but sometimes it's more scary for them to have information hidden from them (or that's how it feels to them). you can point the conversation in the direction of "normal" if you are wanting to avoid discussion of her particular birth, given the trauma you have experienced. it sounds like you've already talked to her about it in the past, and given she is already aware of vaginal birth, she is well on the way to understanding periods without much extra explanation - she knows about birth - so explaining to her that the body gets ready for a baby, and when there isn't one, you have to get rid of the materials (nest or whatever you want to call it) through the vagina ready to start again next month isnt' that much of a stretch. perhaps finding an explanation that works for you is going to be the hardest bit - think of something that you can explain to her that is clear and would make sense. does she make her own bed each day? maybe something along the lines of "just like you make your bed every day to go to bed at night, a womans body makes a type of bed in her tummy for a baby to grow in. if there is no baby in there, you get a period. a period is like when you strip your bed to wash the sheets - it needs to start fresh, like having clean sheets" (not the clearest way to say it - trying to type it out is very difficult - but you could use an idea that she would understand about starting fresh and that it's not a bad thing)

[Gigi]

thanks Onyx and BG, i do feel better about this now, am formulating what to say, next time this issue comes up. You're right, we bleed, and we're still standing.

[krysalyss]

I am mostly guided by DS as to what he is interested in knowing. He knows how babies come out (both vaginally and c/section). He has seen animals mating (but hasn't yet twigged what humans may do). He understands periods and knows what tampons are, and what tampon bins are for, and he knows the proper names for the body parts. So that is about what we are up to. He is 5. I am guessing he will ask more when he is interested in more and I will just try and answer honestly.

[Mak]

Gigi I think you've had some great advice! I try to answer with simple facts and then ask if there are any more questions. We try to reinforce that the girls ask us too if there is anything else. DD1 is very inquisitive and rarely lets things slide without a barrage of further questioning. I am trying really hard not to let my hang ups spread too as we never talked about any of this. She then likes to share with everyone else lol. That is where is gets interesting....... Good luck, just remember you want to encourage trust and open communication with Bilby! xxxx