OMG, just had to pick myself off the floor. For once I TOTALLY agree with you Caro .

ABSOLUTELY stop making food an issue - they will run with it, you will end up bonkers. I really disagree with alot of the other stuff too - making them stay there all night or reserving it for brekky (that's just wrongtown!).

1) They only things kids can control in their lives is what comes in and what goes out. If you make an issue of either, you will lose. Told to me by childcare professionals I respect.

2) I was one of those horrible "white foods only" children. I am still really picky but am lots better now. I don't have issues with the taste necesarrily, it's the texture. I love tomato soups, sauces etc, but the thought of a raw slice of tomato eeerrrrrk! Hard on the outside, mushy on the inside. I also hate different foods touching on the plate. I have no idea how I got this way, I didn't mean it and my parents carrying on like pork chops (ha ha!) didn't help and made me feel like crap. Most of the time I was starving but the the food gave me the shivers. No amount of bribery was going to work, 50% of it was being stubborn. Mealtimes sucked for everybody at my house. It shouldn't be like that.

3) As a result of this I was absolutely going to do things my way with my own kids. I never make a big deal out of it, if they don't like something, big deal. Now I have the eldest - she eats everything and is not afraid to try it all. The youngest - seems like she may be the same. The middle - well of course he is another "white food" kid (potatoes, toast, chicken, plain pasta and rice. That's it). His dad used to get all fired up, I made him promise not to hassle him, and he is getting better. Things were turning into a nightly standoff, Mitch was loving the fireworks and Beth was starting to follow suit (uck, uck,ucky!) He is starting (slowly) to eat what we do. Although he drives me bonkers when he rejects my loving offerings, if he doesn't like it, we shrug and continue with dinner. He may have a buttered cracker or something instead, we are all happy. I certainly don't make separate meals or anything, and he isn't going to starve. I'm not giving another reason for a 3 yr old to be oppositional!

Maybe try backing off for awhile and see how things go?